An American Werewolf in London

ALEX: Has the patient in twenty-one gotten his tray yet?

ORDERLY: The American? Yes, duck.

ALEX: How did he look?

ORDERLY: What do you mean, 'how did he look'?

ALEX: You know, did he seem depressed? Do you think he'll eat the food?

ORDERLY: I'm an orderly, not a bleeding psychiatrist! I push things about, but I've little say what happens to them.

ALEX: Thank you.

DR. HIRSCH: Nurse Hobbs said there's a disturbance in Leicester Square involving some sort of mad dog.

ALEX: David?

DR. HIRSCH: I doubt it. But it's something to do.

ALEX: What shall we do?

DR. HIRSCH: Tea would be nice.

DR. HIRSCH: Could you get here without any trouble?

ALEX: Yes, I should think so.

DR. HIRSCH: Right. Now listen carefully. I want you to bring David here. I want him in my care. I'll notify the police that we've found him. It is imperative that you bring him straight to the hospital. Do you understand?

ALEX: Yes, Doctor.

DR. HIRSCH: You're certain he's lucid? You won't need any help?

ALEX: He's fine. We'll come right over.

DR. HIRSCH: Shall I send a car?

ALEX: No, a cab will be faster.

DR. HIRSCH: I expect you shortly.

ALEX: He's here.

DR. HIRSCH: Is he all right? Why didn't you call me? Where was he?

ALEX: He doesn't remember. He woke up at the zoo.

DR. HIRSCH: The zoo? Is he rational?

ALEX: Yes, he is. He's very excited and confused, but he's not crazy, if that's what you mean.

DR. HIRSCH: Have you read the papers today? Have you listened to the radio or television?

ALEX: No, why?

DR. HIRSCH: Is David acting strangely?

ALEX: No, not really.

ALEX: Surely you're not suggesting...

DR. HIRSCH: David has suffered a severe trauma. I myself witnessed some form of mass neurosis in East Proctor. If all the villagers believe that Jack Goodman was killed by a werewolf, why shouldn't David? And then it follows that if he survived an attack by a werewolf, wouldn't he himself become a werewolf the next full moon?

ALEX: Dr. Hirsch?

DR. HIRSCH: Oh, I don't mean running about on all fours and howling at the moon. But in such a deranged state he could harm himself, or perhaps others.

ALEX: What shall we do?

DR. HIRSCH: Let's call the police and see if they can help us find our wandering boy.

DR. HIRSCH: You've absolutely no idea where David might be?

ALEX: No. He knows no one in London, besides me. I shouldn't have left him alone.

ALEX: He's not?

DR. HIRSCH: Alex, has David persisted in his werewolf fantasies?

ALEX: Well, yes, but he seems to be more upset by the death of his friend.

DR. HIRSCH: Has his friend appeared to him again?

ALEX: Yes.

DR. HIRSCH: What did he say?

ALEX: David says Jack comes to warn him.

DR. HIRSCH: Warn him?

ALEX: Dr. Hirsch, what's wrong? Is this more serious than I know?

DR. HIRSCH: I tried to investigate the attack. There are no records. The case was closed and now they've 'misplaced' the file. David's lacerations were cleaned and dressed when he arrived here and yet supposedly no doctor examined him before I did. The Goodman boy is already in the ground so he's no good to us. So I went to the pub in East Proctor where I was convinced of two things.

ALEX: Yes.

DR. HIRSCH: They were lying. There were no witnesses, no escaped lunatic. The whole community is hiding the truth of what actually happened up there.

ALEX: And what else?

DR. HIRSCH: I think the village of East Proctor is hiding some dark and terrible secret. I'm convinced that, like David, they believe in this werewolf.

DR. HIRSCH: Oh dear girl, your extracurricular activities are of no consequence to me. I don't give a damn who you sleep with. I'm concerned about David.

ALEX: Yes, sir.

DR. HIRSCH: It's a full moon. Where is he?

ALEX: At my flat. I'm off at midnight and...

ALEX: It's all right, Susan. Yes, Doctor, I have.

DR. HIRSCH: Come to my office, Miss Price.

DR. HIRSCH: Did he say a wolf?

ALEX: Yes, I believe he did.

DR. HIRSCH: Oh, Miss Price?

ALEX: Yes, Doctor?

DR. HIRSCH: What exactly did he call out?

ALEX: He said 'Jack'.

DR. HIRSCH: That would be Jack Goodman, the boy who was killed.

ALEX: What happened to them?

DR. HIRSCH: The police report said an escaped lunatic attacked them. He must have been a very powerful man. Although I really don't see that it is any of your concern, Miss Price.

ALEX: No, sir. Of course, sir. Good day, Doctor.

DR. HIRSCH: Can I be of service, Miss Price?

ALEX: Dr. Hirsch?

DR. HIRSCH: Go about your duties.

ALEX: Yes, Doctor.

ALEX: Dr. Hirsch, Mr. Kessler cried out a minute ago.

DR. HIRSCH: Miss Gallagher, surely you must perform some function here at the hospital.

DAVID: Leave me alone, dammit! You people are crazy! I've got to get away from here! I've got to do something!

ALEX: David, don't lose control.

DAVID: Control!?! What control!?! Get away from me!

DAVID: Hopeless. It's hopeless.

ALEX: David, let's go now.

ALEX: Sir, he's very upset. His friend was killed and...

DAVID: Will you shut up!?!!

ALEX: He's playing a stupid joke, sir.

DAVID: What?

ALEX: We had an argument. He's being silly.

DAVID: I swear, I don't know this girl.

ALEX: David, please be rational. Let's go to Dr. Hirsch.

DAVID: Rational!?! I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake!

DAVID: I am going to the cops. There's a full moon tonight. Jack was right. I...

ALEX: Jack is dead!

DAVID: Jack is dead. Look, six people have been killed. I'm going to the police.

ALEX: David, what are you doing?

DAVID: Six people mutilated? It had to be me, Alex.

ALEX: David, stop!

ALEX: But...

DAVID: Pull over.

ALEX: The next corner we can get a cab.

DAVID: I should be committed.

ALEX: Dr. Hirsch will know what to do.

DAVID: I don't know why I feel so good. I haven't felt this good in a long time.

DAVID: Alex, I've lost my mind. I woke up at the zoo! But you know what? I feel terrific!

ALEX: The zoo?

DAVID: Waking up at the zoo, that's not so insane. Having no clothes on? That's insane. What did I do last night, Alex?

ALEX: Don't you remember?

DAVID: I said goodbye to you. I was locked out of the flat. I climbed the wall and came in through the bathroom window. I started to read and then I was naked at the zoo! I guess I am out of my fucking mind.

ALEX: David! Where on earth have you been!?!

DAVID: I'm freezing.

ALEX: I'm off. There's food in the fridge.

DAVID: See you later.

ALEX: Listen, if you get too anxious, call me at the hospital, okay?

DAVID: Okay.

ALEX: I've left those pills for you.

DAVID: A doper werewolf.

ALEX: Let me go now, you'll make me late.

DAVID: Do me an enormous favor?

ALEX: Anything.

DAVID: Tell me that it's silly of me to be apprehensive.

ALEX: It's silly of you to be apprehensive.

DAVID: Werewolves simply do not exist.

ALEX: David, do you want me to stay here tonight?

DAVID: Yeah, I do, but go to work.

ALEX: Tomorrow is the full moon.

DAVID: That's good, Alex. Reassure me.

ALEX: David, you don't honestly believe that in reality your friend Jack rose from the grave to breakfast with you? Do you really?

DAVID: I was awake and he was in my room.

ALEX: But, David.

DAVID: I wasn't hallucinating.

DAVID: Alex?

ALEX: Yes?

DAVID: Will you be here in about fifteen minutes?

ALEX: Of course.

DAVID: Good.

DAVID: It's nice to see you.

ALEX: It's nice to see you.

ALEX: Closet.

DAVID: Charming.

ALEX: Bathroom.

DAVID: Lovely.

ALEX: The bedroom.

DAVID: There is only one bed.

ALEX: David, perhaps you'd like to watch the telly while I take a shower.

ALEX: The kitchen.

DAVID: Very nice.

DAVID: My friend Jack was just here.

ALEX: Your dead friend Jack?

DAVID: Yeah. He says that I will become a monster in two days. What do you think?

ALEX: What do I think? You mean about the possibility of your becoming a monster in two days or about visits from dead friends?

DAVID: I was dreaming again?

ALEX: I would think so.

DAVID: Yeah, I would think so, too.

ALEX: Are you better now?

DAVID: I'll let you know the next full moon.

ALEX: You're to be discharged tomorrow. Will you be all right?

DAVID: I'm a werewolf.

ALEX: A werewolf?

ALEX: Hello. You all right?

DAVID: I'm sorry I woke you up.

ALEX: Don't be silly. Can I get you something?

DAVID: No, thank you. Just keep me company for a while.

ALEX: That's easy enough.

DAVID: I keep having these really terrible dreams. They are getting worse and I can't seem to stop them.

ALEX: David, your dreams will stop. You'll leave England and your bad memories; and then this will all fade away.

DAVID: Will you come with me?

ALEX: What?

DAVID: I'm serious. You don't know me and I know nothing about you. We have a perfect relationship.

ALEX: Now, David, I said I would keep you company, but I meant right here and now.

DAVID: Will you think about it?

ALEX: How did we get from your bad dreams to my taking a holiday with a patient?

DAVID: Not just a patient -- me.

ALEX: You're being awfully forward, aren't you?

DAVID: Forgive me, I'm trying to cheer myself up and an affair with a beautiful nurse seemed like just the thing to do it.

ALEX: All I am to you is a sex fantasy then?

DAVID: Now I'm embarrassed.

ALEX: Good. I thought for a moment I was the only embarrassed one in the room.

DAVID: How old are you?

ALEX: That's not really a very proper question.

DAVID: How old are you?

ALEX: Twenty-eight.

DAVID: I'm twenty-seven.

ALEX: I know.

DAVID: Now what do you want to talk about?

ALEX: Was Jack Goodman your good friend?

DAVID: My best friend. My very best friend.

ALEX: Shall I read to you?

DAVID: What? Oh, yes, please.

ALEX: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Samuel L. Clemens. This is after the preface but before chapter one: A Word of Explanation. You all right?

DAVID: Yes, go on.

ALEX: Ahem, A Word of Explanation. It was in Warwick Castle that I came across the curious stranger whom I am going to talk about. He attracted me by three things: his candid simplicity, his marvelous familiarity with ancient armor, and the restfulness of his company - for he did all the talking. We fell together as modest people will in the tail of the herd...

ALEX: What do you dream about?

DAVID: I dream of death mostly.

ALEX: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you.

DAVID: It's okay. I want to talk to you.

DAVID: You're a very beautiful girl.

ALEX: I thought you were asleep.

DAVID: I was. What are you reading?

ALEX: 'A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court' by Mark Twain.

DAVID: Do you like it?

ALEX: I've just started it. My friend gave it to me.

ALEX: Let's try a little harder, shall we?

DAVID: Will you give me a break?

DAVID: Call me David.

ALEX: Shall I be forced to feed you, David?

DAVID: This is absurd. I'm not hungry. I don't want any food.

ALEX: Right.

DAVID: Aw come on, Miss Price!

ALEX: Call me Alex.

DAVID: Aw come on, Alex!

ALEX: Shall I be forced to feed you, Mr. Kessler?

ALEX: Mr. Kessler?

DAVID: Yes?

ALEX: You haven't eaten your lunch.

DAVID: I'm not very hungry, thank you.

ALEX: I'm afraid you have to eat something.

DAVID: Please, really. I'm not hungry.

ALEX: You put me in an awkward position, Mr. Kessler.

DAVID: How is that?

ALEX: Well, you're to take these after you've eaten. Now what kind of nurse would I be if I failed in so simple a task as giving out some pills?

DAVID: Leave the pills. I'll take them later.

ALEX: Sorry.

DAVID: It wasn't a lunatic.

ALEX: I beg your pardon?

DAVID: It was a wolf.

ALEX: What?

DAVID: A wolf.

ALEX: How are we feeling tonight?

BENJAMIN: No.

ALEX: No what?

BENJAMIN: No!

ALEX: Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face and neck?

BENJAMIN: No.

ALEX: I thought not.

ALEX: Feeling better?

BENJAMIN: No.

ALEX: The doctor will be round later. Would you like a picture book to look at? We have some lovely funny Beanos.

BENJAMIN: No.

ALEX: Right.

ALEX: Hello, Benjamin.

BENJAMIN: No.

ALEX: No what?

BENJAMIN: No.

ALEX: Well, all right then, be that way. Here, swallow this.

BENJAMIN: No.

MISS GALLAGHER: He all right?

ALEX: Yes, I should think. He called out just now.

MISS GALLAGHER: He's an American, you know. Dr. Hirsch is going to fetch round one of those Embassy fellows to see him.

ALEX: Chart says he's from New York.

MISS GALLAGHER: I think he's a Jew.

ALEX: Why on earth do you say that?

MISS GALLAGHER: I looked.

ALEX: Really, Susan, I don't think that was very proper, and besides, it's common practice now.

MRS. HOBBS: Miss Price.

ALEX: Yes, Mrs. Hobbs.

MRS. HOBBS: Take these round now, will you please? The American boy in twenty-one is only to have these after he's eaten. Will you be sure of that?

ALEX: Has he been refusing food?

MRS. HOBBS: Nothing quite as dramatic as that, Miss Price. He just doesn't eat enough of what is put before him. He suffers from nightmares. I'd think he just needs a hand to hold.

ALEX: Yes, Mrs. Hobbs.

DAVID: Who is this girl?

BOBBIE: You're going to have to stop this disturbance or I shall arrest you.

DAVID: That's what I want you to do, you moron!

BOBBIE: All right, you two, move along.

DAVID: Hey, you asshole! I want you to arrest me!

BOBBIE: There's no call for that kind of language.

DAVID: Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit!

BOBBIE: Now see here young man.

DAVID: Shakespeare was French! The Queen Mother sucks cocks in hell! Shit! Fuck! Piss!

DAVID: Officer, I killed those people last night.

BOBBIE: You did, did you?

DAVID: That's easy for you to say - you're already dead.

BRINGSLY: No, David. Harry and I and everyone you murder are not dead. The undead.

DAVID: Why are you doing this to me?

DAVID: Why are you doing this to me, Jack?

BRINGSLY: This isn't Mr. Goodman's idea. He is your good friend, whereas I am a victim of your carnivorous lunar activities.

DAVID: Mr. Bringsly, I'm sorry. I have absolutely no idea what to say to you.

BRINGSLY: You've left my wife a widow and my children fatherless. And I understand that I am to walk the earth one of the living dead until the wolf's bloodline is severed and the curse lifted.

CHESS PLAYER: No one brought them here! No one wanted them here!

WOMAN: You could have told them!

CHESS PLAYER: Oh, all right. There was this airplane over the Atlantic on its way to New York. It was full of men from the United Nations.

WOMAN: That's very funny, that is.

CHESS PLAYER: All right, laugh then. I shan't tell it.

WOMAN: Oh, come on, tell us.

CHESS PLAYER: No. You've had your chance.

CHESS PLAYER: You be quiet, woman, and let me speak.

WOMAN: Quiet, everyone! Hush! Shhh!

CHESS PLAYER: Here, Gladys, Tom. Did you hear the one about the crashing plane?

WOMAN: No, but we're about to.

MISS GALLAGHER: Now go back to sleep so you'll be fresh for Dr. Hirsch in the morning.

DAVID: What time is it?

MISS GALLAGHER: It's nearly eight. I'm off duty shortly, then I'm off to the films with Alex.

DAVID: Alex?

MISS GALLAGHER: Miss Price, the other nurse that attended you.

DAVID: What are you going to see?

MISS GALLAGHER: An American film about the Mafia called 'See You Next Wednesday', and I want to see it badly, so you give me no problems and go to sleep.

DAVID: Do you have bad dreams, too?

MISS GALLAGHER: Some, everyone does.

DAVID: Yes, but does everyone kill Bambi?

MISS GALLAGHER: Bambi?

MISS GALLAGHER: Mr. Kessler? Wake up, please.

DAVID: I was having a nightmare.

DAVID: Dr. Hirsch? I'd rather not be by myself.

DR. HIRSCH: Of course not, David. I'll fetch in young Miss Price.

DR. HIRSCH: Did you get a good look at the man who attacked you?

DAVID: I've told you, it wasn't a man. It was an animal. A big wolf or something. A rabid dog.

DR. HIRSCH: Yes.

DAVID: Look, Dr. Hirsch, I know I've been traumatized, but Jack was torn apart. I saw him. A man can't do that to someone with his bare hands.

DR. HIRSCH: You'd be surprised what horrors a man is capable of.

DAVID: Did you see Jack?

DR. HIRSCH: No. In fact, your wounds were cleaned and dressed before you arrived here.

DAVID: Did you talk to the police in East Proctor? Did the cops go to The Slaughtered Lamb?

DR. HIRSCH: I really don't know.

DAVID: Then why the hell are you so quick to disbelieve me? You yourself said it must have taken incredible strength to tear apart a person like that.

DR. HIRSCH: David, please. The police are satisfied. I'm certain that if a monster were out roaming northern England we'd have seen it on the telly.

DAVID: You really think I'm crazy, don't you?

DR. HIRSCH: Believe me. The Hound of the Baskervilles was an invention of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's. And if you'd read the bloody book, you'd find that Holmes discovered your house of hell a fraud, a fake.

DR. HIRSCH: You've never had bad dreams before?

DAVID: Sure, as a kid. But never so real. Never so bizarre.

DAVID: There were witnesses?

DR. HIRSCH: So they said.

DAVID: How could there have been witnesses? It was so dark. We were running and I fell and Jack went to help me up and this thing came from nowhere... I don't understand what they're talking about.

DR. HIRSCH: In time I'm sure it will all come back to you.

DAVID: Doctor, my memory is fine. It's my sanity I'm beginning to worry about.

DAVID: How long have I been here?

DR. HIRSCH: You've been unconscious since you were brought in two weeks ago.

DAVID: Two weeks?

DR. HIRSCH: You've suffered some rather severe cuts and bruises, lost a bit of blood, but nothing too serious; black and blue for a while. You'll have some dueling scars to boast of. That lunatic must have been a very fierce fellow. They say a mad man has the strength of ten.

DAVID: Lunatic?

DR. HIRSCH: Now we've just given you a pretty strong sedative, so try to get some rest now. Miss Price will see to your needs. Rest now.

DR. HIRSCH: Miss Price! Miss Price, please!

DAVID: Get your fucking hands off me! What the hell is going on here?

DR. HIRSCH: Hello, David. I am Dr. Hirsch and this is a countryman of yours, Mr. Collins.

DAVID: Where am I?

DR. HIRSCH: You're in a hospital in London.

DAVID: London? Where's Jack? I had a strange dream.

DR. HIRSCH: I should think so after your recent traumatic experiences.

DAVID: The guy I was with. Is he all right? How did I get to London?

DR. HIRSCH: Now, David, I want you to prepare yourself; your friend is dead.

DAVID: I could hang myself.

JACK: If you did it wrong, it would be painful. You'd choke to death.

JACK: Because this must be stopped.

DAVID: How shall I do it?

JACK: David Kessler, this is Gerald Bringsly.

DAVID: Hello.

JACK: Gerald is the man you murdered in the subway. We thought it best you didn't see him as he's a fresh kill and still pretty messy.

DAVID: What can I say, Jack?

JACK: You don't have to say anything.

DAVID: Aren't you going to say, 'I told you so'?

JACK: If I was still alive, I probably would.

DAVID: You look awful.

JACK: Thank you.

DAVID: I didn't mean it. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm not even sure it was me who killed those people. I don't remember doing it.

JACK: What about the zoo?

DAVID: Well, even if I'm not the wolfman, I am crazy enough to do something like that. I mean, here I sit in Leicester Square talking to a corpse. I'm glad to see you, Jack.

JACK: I want you to meet some people.

DAVID: Hi, Jack.

JACK: Hi, David.

DAVID: What are you doing here?

JACK: I wanted to see you.

DAVID: Okay, you've seen me. Now go away.

JACK: David, I'm sorry I upset you yesterday, but you must understand what is going on.

DAVID: I understand all right. You're one of the undead and I'm a werewolf.

JACK: Yes.

DAVID: Get out of here, Jack!

JACK: David, tomorrow night is the full moon. You'll change, you'll become...

DAVID: A monster. I know, I know.

JACK: You must take your own life now, David, before it's too late.

DAVID: Jack, are you really dead?

JACK: What do you think?

DAVID: I think I've lost my mind. I think you're not real. I think I'm asleep and you're a part of another bad dream.

JACK: You must believe me.

DAVID: What, Jack? That tomorrow night beneath the full moon I'll sprout hair and fangs and eat people? Bullshit!

JACK: The canines will be real. You'll taste real blood! God damit, David, please believe me! You'll kill and make others like me! I'm not having a nice time, David! Don't allow this to happen again! You must take your own life!

DAVID: I will not accept this! Now go away!

DAVID: You're not real.

JACK: Don't be an asshole, David. Come here.

JACK: It's you, David.

DAVID: What?!

JACK: You survived and now you shall continue the curse.

DAVID: What are you talking about? I won't accept this! Get out! God damit!

JACK: Remember what that guy at The Slaughtered Lamb said? 'Beware the moon.'

DAVID: Stop it, Jack.

JACK: Beware the moon. The full moon, David. You've got two days.

DAVID: Jack, please go away. Please go away.

JACK: You'll stalk the streets of London a creature of the night.

DAVID: You're talking like Boris Karloff! It's movie dialogue!

JACK: David, please believe me. You will kill people, David. You've got to stop the bloodshed before it begins.

DAVID: Nurse!

JACK: Listen to me! Take your own life, David. It's our only chance.

DAVID: Nurse!

JACK: The supernatural! The powers of darkness! It's all true. Take your own life! Suicide, David. Join me.

DAVID: Nurse! Oh God! Alex!

JACK: It's cold, David, and I'm so alone. The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It's boring! I'm lonely! Kill yourself, David, before you kill others.

DAVID: I'm going completely crazy.

JACK: David!

DAVID: What?!

JACK: David, now I know this may be hard for you, but I have to warn you.

DAVID: Warn me? Will you get out of here, you meat loaf?

JACK: I'm a grisly sight, it's true; but I love you and that's why I'm here. You've got to know.

DAVID: If you love me so much, Jack, you'll realize how disconcerting it is to share one's breakfast with the living dead!

JACK: We were attacked by a werewolf.

DAVID: I'm not listening!

JACK: On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf.

DAVID: Shut up, you zombie!

JACK: I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted.

DAVID: What's wrong with you? Shut up!

JACK: The wolf's bloodline must be severed. The last remaining werewolf must be destroyed.

DAVID: Will you be quiet?!

JACK: David! You're hurting my feelings.

DAVID: Hurting your feelings? Has it occurred to you that it may be unsettling to have you rise from your grave to visit me? Listen to me, I'm talking to a hamburger!

JACK: I'm sorry to be upsetting you, David, but I had to come.

DAVID: Aren't you supposed to be buried in New York someplace?

JACK: Yeah. Your parents came to my funeral. I was surprised at how many people came.

DAVID: Why should you be surprised? You were a very well-liked person.

JACK: Debbie Klein cried a lot.

DAVID: I can't stand it.

JACK: So you know what she does? She's so grief stricken she runs to find solace in Rudy Levine's bed.

DAVID: Rudy Levine the shmuck?

JACK: Life mocks me even in death.

JACK: Nice to see you.

DAVID: Get the fuck out of here, Jack.

JACK: Thanks a lot.

DAVID: This is too much. I can't handle this.

JACK: I'm aware that I don't look so great, but I thought you'd be glad to see me.

JACK: You really scared me, you shithead.

DAVID: Are you going to help me up?

DAVID: Jack?

JACK: Yeah.

DAVID: Where are we going?

JACK: I'll tell you when we get there.

DAVID: Well. I'm glad we... WHOAA!!

DAVID: It sounds far away.

JACK: Not far enough. Come on.

DAVID: See anything?

JACK: No.

JACK: Nice doggie. Good boy.

DAVID: Walk away, Jack.

JACK: Walking away, yes, sir. Here we are walking away.

JACK: Oh shit. What is that?

DAVID: A sheep dog or something. Turn slowly and let's walk away.

DAVID: It's in front of us.

JACK: Do you think it's a dog?

DAVID: What's the plan?

JACK: Plan?

DAVID: Let's just keep walking.

DAVID: It's moving.

JACK: It's circling us.

JACK: Shit! David, what is that?

DAVID: I don't know. Come on.

JACK: Come on, where?

DAVID: Anywhere! I think we should just keep moving.

JACK: I vote we go back to The Slaughtered Lamb.

DAVID: Yeah.

DAVID: Could be a lot of things.

JACK: Yeah?

DAVID: A coyote.

JACK: There aren't any coyotes in England.

DAVID: The Hound of the Baskervilles.

JACK: Pecos Bill.

DAVID: Heathcliffe.

JACK: Heathcliffe didn't howl.

DAVID: No, but he was on the moors.

JACK: It's a full moon, 'beware the moon'.

JACK: Did you hear that?

DAVID: I heard that.

JACK: What was it?

JACK: Say, David...

DAVID: I'm well aware of how pleasant the weather is in Rome at the present time thank you.

JACK: What do you think was wrong?

DAVID: I have no idea.

JACK: Maybe that pentangle was for something supernatural.

DAVID: I see and they were too embarrassed to talk about it, because they felt so silly.

DAVID: That was weird. I guess leaving was the best idea.

JACK: I don't know. Now that we're out here and it's three degrees, I'm not so sure I wouldn't rather face a blood-thirsty mob.

DAVID: Well, not quite a blood-thirsty mob.

JACK: What the hell was that all about?

DAVID: I don't know. Let's see if there's an inn or something up the road.

JACK: Beware the moon?

DAVID: Come on, I'm freezing.

DAVID: Come on, Jack, shall we go?!!

JACK: Apparently so.

DAVID: Jack, we'd better go.

JACK: What do you mean? I'm starving.

JACK: Go on, ask them.

DAVID: You ask them.

JACK: Ask them what the candles are for.

DAVID: You ask them.

JACK: Listen, that's a pentangle, a five- pointed star. It's used in witchcraft. Lon Chaney, Jr. and Universal Studios maintain it's the mark of the wolf man.

DAVID: I see. You want me to ask these people if they're burning candles to ward off monsters.

JACK: Right.

DAVID: Wrong.

DAVID: What about it?

JACK: It's a five-pointed star.

DAVID: Maybe the owners are from Texas.

JACK: Nice looking group.

DAVID: Listen, at least it's warm in here.

JACK: Look at that.

DAVID: Hello.

JACK: Nice to see you.

JACK: The Slaughtered Lamb?

DAVID: Of course, The Slaughtered Lamb. Why else would they have a severed fox head on a spear as their symbol?

JACK: That's a wolf's head.

DAVID: Of course, The Slaughtered Lamb. Why else would they have a severed wolf's head on a spear as their symbol?

JACK: That's not a spear. It's a pike.

DAVID: A severed wolf's head on a pike as their symbol.

JACK: David, before we go in there I want you to know that - no matter what happens to us - it's your fault.

DAVID: I assume full responsibility.

JACK: Okay.

DAVID: Shall we?

JACK: Do you think she'll meet me in Rome?

DAVID: I think Debbie Klein is a mediocre person with a good body.

JACK: Debbie is not mediocre and she has one of the great bodies of all time.

DAVID: She's a jerk.

JACK: You're talking about the woman I love.

DAVID: I'm talking about a girl you want to fuck, so give me a break.

JACK: Well, anyway, do you think she'll be there?

DAVID: I don't know.

JACK: Rendezvous in Rome starring Jack Goodman and Debbie Klein. The love affair that shocked Europe! See torrid lovemaking at its most explicit! See Jack and Debbie expose their lust in the sacred halls of the Vatican! Never has the screen dared...

DAVID: If you don't stop, I'm going to kill you.

JACK: I have to make love to her. It's very simple. She has no choice really.

DAVID: It just fascinates me that you can spend so much energy on someone so dull.

JACK: It is impossible for a body like that to be dull.

DAVID: We've known Debbie what, since the eighth grade? How many years of foreplay is that?

JACK: She says she 'likes me too much'.

DAVID: Well, I like it here.

JACK: I'm sorry. Northern England first, Italy later.

DAVID: Right.

DAVID: Jack.

JACK: David.

DAVID: You're not having a good time are you?

JACK: Oh, I don't know. I mean look around. Isn't this a fun place?

JACK: Are you cold?

DAVID: Yes.

JACK: Good.

DR. HIRSCH: What can we do to assist you?

LT. VILLIERS: Stay here. If we need you, we'll know where to reach you.

LT. VILLIERS: The forensic lads seem to feel that some sort of animal was involved, that's true, but I hardly think...

DR. HIRSCH: Regardless of what you think, Lieutenant, the fact remains that David is missing and that we must find him.

DR. HIRSCH: You were saying?

LT. VILLIERS: Has David Kessler anything to say concerning the attack on the moors?

DR. HIRSCH: Why don't we ask him?

LT. VILLIERS: No, thank you, Doctor.

DR. HIRSCH: Well, then, what can I do for Scotland Yard?

LT. VILLIERS: Dr. Hirsch?

DR. HIRSCH: Come in, come in. Please sit. Some tea?

DR. HIRSCH: Excuse me. Yes?

SECRETARY: Roger Mathison, Doctor.

DR. HIRSCH: What here?

SECRETARY: He's on the telephone.

DR. HIRSCH: Tell him I'm out. No, tell him I've passed away. An old war wound or something. Tell him I'm dead. And no more calls!

DR. HIRSCH: Yes?

SECRETARY: Lt. Villiers and Sgt. McManus are here to see you, Doctor.

DR. HIRSCH: Send them in.

DR. HIRSCH: What's that?

WOMAN: Oh, that's been there for two hundred years. We were going to paint it out, but it's traditional, so we left it.

DR. HIRSCH: I see. You've heard nothing about the incident?

WOMAN: Hello, there. What can I get you?

DR. HIRSCH: Campari and soda would do nicely.

WOMAN: Sorry, love.

DR. HIRSCH: I suppose Guinness will suffice.

JACK: Remember the Alamo?

WOMAN: I beg your pardon?

JACK: Hot chocolate?

WOMAN: We've got spirits and beer. If it's something hot you want, you can have tea.

JACK: Then you have some hot tea?

WOMAN: No.

JACK: Oh.

WOMAN: But I can heat some up for you if you'd like.

JACK: Do you have any hot soup?

WOMAN: No.

LT. VILLIERS: I cannot accept a connection between David Kessler and last night's murders. We will find him, however. I can assure you of that.

SGT. MCMANUS: We'll find him, not to worry.

SGT. MCMANUS: He may have a point, Lieutenant. Two strong boys would be able to defend themselves against one man.

LT. VILLIERS: Sgt. McManus, are you suggesting that David and Jack were, in fact, attacked by some animal and that the officialdom of East Proctor has conspired to keep it a secret? We have an autopsy report on the murderer who was shot in the act by the local police. We have two witnesses to the crime. You'll forgive me, Mr. Kessler, if I consider your testimony as coming from someone who has gone through a terrible shock.

SGT. MCMANUS: Lieutenant, the boy seems pretty lucid to me and...

LT. VILLIERS: And what, Sergeant?

SGT. MCMANUS: I don't rightly know, sir.

LT. VILLIERS: That is precisely my point. David, as far as we are concerned, the matter is closed. We won't trouble you any further. Good day.

SGT. MCMANUS: Sorry.

LT. VILLIERS: Has Mr. Kessler said anything regarding the attack on the moors?

LT. VILLIERS: No, thank you.

SGT. MCMANUS: I'd like some tea, please.