Five Easy Pieces

BETTY: See, I told you it was him... Your name's Donnie something, right?

BOBBY: I leave it to you.

BETTY: My name is Shirley, but they call me Betty, and her name's Twinky.

BOBBY: Twinky?

BETTY: Yeah, 'cause she's so "twinky"...

BOBBY: Well, Betty and Twinky, it sure is nice talking to you girls. I just wish I had more time...

BETTY: That's a wig you wear, isn't it?

BOBBY: A wig?

BETTY: Yeah, I told her it was you, but that you're wearing a wig, 'cause on TV you're mostly bald in the front.

BOBBY: Your little friend's real sharp there... Yeah, I don't like to wear the wig on TV, because with two and a half million people watching you, you've gotta be sincere. I just like to wear it when I'm out slippin' around bowling alleys an' things like that. I think it gives me a little more class, don't you?

BOBBY: Tell me what in the hell's going on, Elton!

ELTON: I got accused a robbin' a fillin'station down in the Indian Nation, didn' I tell you...

ELTON: If you're sayin' you're somethin' better'n what I am, that's one thing. But I can't say much a someone who'd run off an' leave a woman in a situation like this an' feel easy about it. An' that's all I gotta say.

BOBBY: I hope that's all you gotta say, El, 'cause I'm about as tired of your mouth as I am workin' this stinkin' hole!

ELTON: Well, id'n that nice.

BOBBY: It's ridiculous! I'm sitting here, listening to some asshole cracker compare his life to mine!

ELTON: Give 'em the horn, Bob.

BOBBY: Look at these assholes! What the hell are they doing?!

ELTON: We gotta get on home an' relieve the sitter. Why'nt you an' Ray come on over.

BOBBY: Okay. Go ahead. I'll settle up for the beers... An' walk Rayette over with you, will you.

RAYETTE: Sure you don't want anything?

BOBBY: Fill it up.

RAYETTE: I'm gonna go in that cafe an' get some coffee. You want anything?

BOBBY: No.

RAYETTE: You got any change?

BOBBY: Come on.

RAYETTE: Wait a sec. I want Tita to take a picture of you an' me in front of the place...

BOBBY: No, let's go...

RAYETTE: Bobby...

BOBBY: I can't talk to you right now, leave me alone...

RAYETTE: It's all right. He don't mean anything by that.

BOBBY: I don't, huh?

BOBBY: Rayette.

RAYETTE: What?

BOBBY: Just finish eating.

RAYETTE: Oh, am I holdin' up dessert?

RAYETTE: This certainly is an improvement on the motel an' the coffee shop. How could you have left such a beautiful place, Bobby?

BOBBY: I don't know.

BOBBY: Okay, Ray...

RAYETTE: Or maybe sit out by the pool an' get myself nice an' tan for you. Would you like that?

BOBBY: Sure...

RAYETTE: It brings out my eyes...

BOBBY: Bye, honey, I'll call you in a couple of days.

RAYETTE: Okay...

RAYETTE: So how long am I supposed to sit an' twiddle my thumbs in this place?

BOBBY: If you can't do what I ask, Ray, use that money to go back home, then.

RAYETTE: Bobby, don't talk like that...

RAYETTE: Why can't I go out to your folks' house? Give me one good reason.

BOBBY: I have to see how things are first. My father's sick, you understand? They wouldn't be prepared for me bringing anyone.

RAYETTE: 'Cause if it was me, I could just catch a Greyhound back.

BOBBY: Oh, you're not going to kill yourself this time. I wish I'd known...

RAYETTE: Are you depressed about your daddy, honey?

BOBBY: No.

RAYETTE: I 'magine it's me then, id'n it?

BOBBY: Is what you?

RAYETTE: You're depressed that I come along.

BOBBY: Who said I was depressed?

RAYETTE: Well, is that a happy face I see?

RAYETTE: Just one minute, you! Don't you ever talk to me like that!

BOBBY: Shut up! All of you!

BOBBY: What?

RAYETTE: I'll tell you... ... l-a-t-e-r.

RAYETTE: "Every trail that you blaze/Makes me..."

BOBBY: What the hell is that?

RAYETTE: You like it?

BOBBY: I love it.

RAYETTE: "You'll be burned out/Or smoked out/An' come back to me, I know..."

BOBBY: I'll be gone two or three weeks.

RAYETTE: You'll be gone, period.

BOBBY: Elton and Stoney know how I feel about you. An' they're just goin' to think I'm not too nice a guy, which I'm not, an' that you're a hell of a person puttin' up with me, that's all.

RAYETTE: You're goin' a find me dead one time.

BOBBY: Sssh, come on now... Be a good girl.

RAYETTE: If you really want a get up an' leave me, you can read about it in the newsprint.

BOBBY: I'm not going to get up an' leave you. Now let's go over to El's an' have a good time.

RAYETTE: Do you love me, Bobby?

BOBBY: Come on, DiPesto. We can still have a good time.

RAYETTE: You're the pathetic one, not me.

BOBBY: I'm going on over there...

RAYETTE: I'm not some piece a crap.

BOBBY: I know you're not.

RAYETTE: You treat me like I was.

BOBBY: I'm sorry.

RAYETTE: You go slippin' around in front a my face, an' in front a Elton an' Stoney. What do you imagine they think a someone you treat that way...

BOBBY: Now, hand...

BOBBY: Come on. We're goin' over to Elton's.

RAYETTE: I'm not.

BOBBY: You just going to sit there?

RAYETTE: Yes.

BOBBY: Okay. Hope no one hits on you.

RAYETTE: I hope they do.

RAYETTE: That was damn good, wad'n it? I finally did it...

BOBBY: Yeah, great. Why don't you throw Z's for 19 frames, and then roll a strike on the last ball in the last frame of a losing game? Just wonderful.

RAYETTE: I can't help it, honey, the ball just keeps goin' cocky wobbly on me...

BOBBY: Will you just do what the hell I tell you...

RAYETTE: I did, didn' I, El?

BOBBY: You got another ball comin'.

RAYETTE: Is it my turn again?

BOBBY: Right. Now show me a little somethin' this time, okay? Give me some form...

RAYETTE: I'm tryin', baby, so don't start gettin' mad now.

BOBBY: No, I'm not mad at you, hand. It'll be all right. Just spot and follow through...

RAYETTE: I'll go out with you, or I'll stay here, and do anything you'd like for me to do... if you'll just do one thing. If you'll tell me that you love me.

BOBBY: You can sing the song.

RAYETTE: You know what, you are never satisfied.

BOBBY: That's right, hand.

BOBBY: Why'nt you take 'at sign off your tit, Ray, an' let's go on out.

RAYETTE: Out where?

BOBBY: Cerveza.

RAYETTE: Serveza yourself!

BOBBY: Now, now.

RAYETTE: No, dammit, I would easy.

RAYETTE: Sugar, you know how I feel about you, don't you? I'm just tryin' to get you to take an interest in my kind a things, an' what I'm tryin' to do with myself... You know, there id'n anything in the world I wouldn't do for you, baby. I started livin' the day I found you, you know that?

BOBBY: You're playing the other side.

RAYETTE: How 'bout if I just cut off your damn water?

BOBBY: I'm too moved by your gentility to speak.

RAYETTE: Now quit, Bobby. You said you're goin' a help me pick a song.

BOBBY: You said.

RAYETTE: Well, lemme sing the one I picked an' see what you think... "When there's a fire in your heart/Break the glass/Sound the alarm..."

BOBBY: You're not going to play it again.

RAYETTE: Well, lemme play the other side then.

BOBBY: No.

PALM: Fantastic! That you could figure all that out, and lay that down on her, to come up with a way you could get your toast.

BOBBY: I didn't get it, did I?

PALM: No, but it was very clever... I would of just punched her out.

PALM: Hey, mack!

BOBBY: Shut up. You have bread, don't you, and a toaster of some kind?

BOBBY: Well...

PALM: It's just filthy. People are dirty. I think that's the biggest thing that's wrong with people. I think they wouldn't be as violent if they were clean, because then they wouldn't have anybody to pick on... Oofh... Dirt...

PALM: I had to leave this place. I got depressed, seeing all the crap. And the thing is, they're making more crap, you know? They've got so many stores and stuff and junk full of crap, I can't believe it.

BOBBY: Who?

PALM: Who? People, that's who! Pretty soon there won't be room for anyone. They're selling more crap that people go and buy than you can imagine. Oofh! Crap! I believe everybody should have a big hole where they throw in all this stuff and burn it.

PALM: You don't have to tell everybody about it. Pretty soon they'll all go there and it won't be so clean.

BOBBY: How do you know it's clean?

PALM: I saw a picture of it. Alaska is very clean. It appeared to look very white to me... Don't you think?

BOBBY: Yeah. That's before the big thaw.

PALM: How far are you going to?

BOBBY: Washington.

PALM: We'll get off in Washington and hook another ride.

BOBBY: Where are you going?

PALM: Alaska.

BOBBY: Alaska? Are you on vacation?

BOBBY: What's your name?

PALM: Palm Apodaca.

PALM: Look at my car! Piece of shit! I just bought it brand new from a used-car lot, and the steering goes to the pot on me!

BOBBY: You're lucky no one was hurt.

PALM: Seven hundred dollars, down the toilet! I'd like to go back and punch the son of a bitch out! Can you give us a lift?

WAITRESS: One Number Two, and a chicken sal san -- hold the butter, the mayo, the lettuce -- and a cup of coffee... Anything else?

BOBBY: Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, charge me for the sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.

WAITRESS: You want me to hold the chicken.

BOBBY: Yeah. I want you to hold it between your knees.

WAITRESS: I don't make the rules.

BOBBY: Okay, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. Give me an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast -- no butter, no mayonnaise, no lettuce -- and a cup of coffee.

BOBBY: Wait, I've made up my mind. I want a plain omelette, forget the tomatoes, don't put potatoes on the plate, and give me a side of wheat toast and a cup of coffee.

WAITRESS: I'm sorry, we don't have side orders of toast. I can give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.

BOBBY: What do you mean, you don't have side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?

WAITRESS: Would you like to talk to the manager?

WAITRESS: No substitutions.

BOBBY: What does that mean? You don't have any tomatoes?

WAITRESS: No. We have tomatoes.

BOBBY: But I can't have any. Is that what you mean?

WAITRESS: Only what's on the menu... A Number Two: Plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.

BOBBY: I know what it comes with, but that's not what I want.

WAITRESS: I'll come back when you've made up your mind...

WAITRESS: Can I get you anything else?

BOBBY: No. How much do I owe you?

WAITRESS: Five'll do it.

TWINKY: I'm gonna give you our number, Donnie, just in case... We're both professionals, if you didn't guess.

BOBBY: Well, you seem very professional...

TWINKY: I always tell everyone the same thing. I got rolled and beat up real bad recently, and since then it's two for one, an' I work strictly in tandem with Betty...

TWINKY: We been wantin' to ask you something. Are you the guy on YV?

BOBBY: Am I on TV?

TWINKY: She says you're the one that sells all the cars on TV.

BOBBY: Well, I don't claim to have sold 'em all. They still have some left, I believe.

BOBBY: Wasn't it, ladies?

TWINKY: Are you talking to us?

BOBBY: Bye, now.

TITA: Bye, Robert.

TITA: You're leaving?

BOBBY: Yeah. I said a week, and I've overstayed myself...

TITA: You were going without saying goodbye?

BOBBY: I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone.

TITA: But what about me?

BOBBY: I'll say goodbye to you, Tita.

BOBBY: I'm talking to you, Tita!

TITA: Can't I have anything to myself, dammit?!

TITA: It's none of your business!

BOBBY: Where's Catherine?!

TITA: I don't know where she is!

BOBBY: Where is she, anyway?

TITA: My turn.

BOBBY: Look, can't you see that, what I'm talking about?

TITA: Sailors are sadistic, I feel.

BOBBY: I think he's got a terrific personality.

TITA: You know, he was formerly a sailor.

TITA: I don't think I'd notice. I'm so used to Carl.

BOBBY: Yeah, well, he's...

BOBBY: Look at that.

TITA: Why are you being so mean?

BOBBY: I'm not. He does walk funny. Don't you see that?

TITA: Do you want some gingerbread?

BOBBY: What?

TITA: With applesauce?

BOBBY: No, thanks...

TITA: Well, you're not going to run out on me right away, are you?

BOBBY: I don't know.

TITA: Oh no... Why? What is it? The way I look?

BOBBY: No, I don't really think you're a freak.

TITA: I probably am, but I don't care. I mean, I wasn't that blessed to begin with, and when would I have had time to make any improvements...

BOBBY: What about Carl and Catherine? Is he just coaching her, or what?

TITA: Constantly. Night and day. And unless I get up before the birds, I can't get in any practice time for myself...

BOBBY: Uhm hmm.

TITA: Actually, it's very admirable, the way she works. She'll probably be enormously successful, because she's attractive as well, not that that's so important in music, but...

BOBBY: You're attractive, Tita. If you just did a little more with yourself...

TITA: Like what?

BOBBY: Well, if you just maybe did something with your hair, or...

TITA: Oh, let's not talk about my hair, it does what it wants to, and anyway, who cares, I want to talk about you...

BOBBY: There's nothing to say, Tita...

BOBBY: Why? Am I some kind of freak to you or something?

TITA: No, no, I don't think that, I'm just curious about it... Do you think I'm a freak?

BOBBY: Sort of.

BOBBY: What questions?

TITA: Well, do you -- I mean, have you enjoyed all these... strange things you've been doing?

BOBBY: Sometimes.

TITA: I mean, you think I'm that happy?

BOBBY: No, I don't. You should've left a long time ago.

TITA: We can't all get up and leave, can we? I mean, there are certain needs you have to respond to...

TITA: He has ways of communicating, Robert. I can tell when he's expressing approval or disapproval, just from his eyes...

BOBBY: Uhm hmm. Some range.

TITA: It's not that bad.

BOBBY: Yes, it is. I can't take seeing him, sitting there like a stone.

TITA: A week or two isn't going to ruin your life, for Godsakes.

BOBBY: How long have you been staying here?

TITA: A couple of months.

BOBBY: Well, I really appreciate it, Carl.

TITA: I don't think you should infer Daddy was wrong in front of him...

TITA: Oh God, I'm so glad, Robert, that you're coming...

BOBBY: Yeah, me, too...

TITA: It'll be so good for you, and for Daddy, because you know, you've never really...

BOBBY: Tita, I've got to go...

TITA: All right...

BOBBY: Maybe you better stay, then.

TITA: No, I need to talk to you, about so many things...

BOBBY: Well, I'll be seeing you in a couple of days, won't I?

BOBBY: Well... I better let you...

TITA: Wait...

BOBBY: I'd rather drive up myself and... maybe go into Canada after... And I can't stay long, Tita, probably a week, at the most.

TITA: I know.

BOBBY: Yeah... I guess so...

TITA: I'm going back up tonight. Will you go with me?

BOBBY: No...

TITA: He's not... They feel he... maybe he might not recover, and that he'll either...

BOBBY: Don't tell me about this...

TITA: It's not funny. He permanently sprained his neck, and since then it's been extremely difficult for him to tuck the violin.

BOBBY: Crashes into a Jeep and totals his neck. That's Carl...

TITA: Robert, I have to tell you something...

BOBBY: What?

TITA: Daddy's very ill.

BOBBY: Oh, well, what, what's he...

TITA: He's had two strokes.

TITA: Robert...

BOBBY: Very nice.

TITA: I have to talk seriously with you...

BOBBY: Everybody still up on the Island?

TITA: Well, Herbert's mostly on the mainland because of the orchestra, so at the moment, there's just Daddy, Carl and myself... and Van Oost.

BOBBY: Who's Van Oost?

TITA: Catherine -- she's a pianist. She's working with Carl.

BOBBY: Carl's a fiddler. What's he doing coaching piano?

TITA: Well, 11 months ago he was on his bicycle, on his way to the post office in La Roche... and he ran into a Jeep and sprained his neck...

BOBBY: Sorry.

TITA: This is a very special, very old CB 275...

BOBBY: Oh.

TITA: You know who it once belonged to?

BOBBY: No.

TITA: Waldnit von Schnechter. Prewar.

BOBBY: No kidding.

TITA: You always do this to me.

BOBBY: Well, I don't mean to. Here's your tea, Tita.

TITA: Thank you... Oh no, don't put it on there...

TITA: I just can't look at you.

BOBBY: Don't, then.

TITA: Robert Eroica...

BOBBY: Now don't...

TITA: No, I'm not... I'm not.

BOBBY: That's good.

TITA: Oh my goodness... Bobby...

BOBBY: Hi, Tita.

TITA: Tea.

BOBBY: Would you tell her Bobby's here?

BOBBY: And living out here, in this rest home asylum, that's what you want?

CATHERINE: Yes.

BOBBY: That'll make you happy.

CATHERINE: I hope it will, yes. I'm sorry.

CATHERINE: No. It's useless, Robert. It wouldn't work, not ever...

BOBBY: Just give me a chance, will you?

CATHERINE: I'm trying to be delicate with you, but you're not understanding me. It's not just because of Carl, or my music, but because of you... I mean, what would it come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect, no love for his work, his family, his friends, something... How can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?

CATHERINE: I'm sorry everything's been so confusing, but I have to go, Robert...

BOBBY: Catherine...

CATHERINE: Please, I'll see you later this evening.

CATHERINE: No, I can't...

BOBBY: Will you let me talk to you, please?

CATHERINE: I can't do that. I haven't been being fair to Carl. I have to tell you that.

BOBBY: Oh. You have to tell me that.

CATHERINE: What?! I can't hear you!

BOBBY: No, I want to talk to you now. I have to explain something about...

CATHERINE: No, you don't have to, it isn't necessary...

BOBBY: Yes, it is!

BOBBY: Where are you going?

CATHERINE: I'm going to pick up some friends of Carl's. Are you all right?

BOBBY: I have to talk to you.

CATHERINE: I'll be back later...

CATHERINE: Robert?

BOBBY: What?

CATHERINE: I could spend some time with you tomorrow morning, before Carl comes back, I mean, if you'd like to.

BOBBY: Of course I'd like to.

CATHERINE: Do you think you could discreetly move across the hall now?

BOBBY: Yeah, I think I could.

CATHERINE: As a matter of fact, he's the one who introduced me to Carl... How are you?

BOBBY: I'm fine.

CATHERINE: Carl restored my confidence. He really did. He's much more substantial than you give him credit for.

BOBBY: Is he?

CATHERINE: Yes.

CATHERINE: I married him when I was 17. He was a cellist, and I thought he was the most brilliant man I'd ever met... And I'm sure he was, because at that age, I hadn't met that many... But he was insidious, you know. He had me convinced that I was a mediocrity, musically, as a woman, as an intellect. But in this completely imperceptible, pleasant way, so that you weren't even sure he was doing it. Anyway, I just woke up one morning and I said, you know something Joseph, you're full of beans, and I left him...

BOBBY: That's what you said?

CATHERINE: Something witty and devastating like that.

CATHERINE: No inner feeling.

BOBBY: That's right.

CATHERINE: I don't believe vou.

CATHERINE: No, don't do that...

BOBBY: Shut up...

BOBBY: Serious, that's what's important to you?

CATHERINE: Yes, that's what's important to me...

CATHERINE: I don't find your language that charming.

BOBBY: It's direct, anyway, which seems to be difficult for you.

CATHERINE: I'd like you to leave now. Is that direct enough?

BOBBY: It's convenient to fake looking for something right now, isn't it?

CATHERINE: I'm not faking anything. I'm looking for some bath oil...

BOBBY: Some bath oil?

BOBBY: Yes, it was. You've made it clear that if I can cut a little piano, I might get a little response.

CATHERINE: I don't think that's accurate...

BOBBY: Up to now, what I've been getting from you are meaningful looks over the dinner table and a lot of vague suggestions about the day after tomorrow...

CATHERINE: I'm not conscious of having given you any meaningful looks. And as for the day after tomorrow, this is the day after tomorrow, and I am, unfortunately, seeing you... Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to take a bath.

BOBBY: You think I'm a fake.

CATHERINE: I think it's what you think.

BOBBY: No, it isn't what I think.

CATHERINE: Look... You made a very calculated move, and then made me feel embarrassed for responding to you. That wasn't necessary.

BOBBY: Catherine...

CATHERINE: No, you're very good at it. I'm really impressed.

BOBBY: Wait...

CATHERINE: Well, at least you're accomplished at something...

BOBBY: What?

CATHERINE: At being a fake.

CATHERINE: Is that funny?

BOBBY: It wasn't supposed to be, it just struck me that way.

CATHERINE: Why?

BOBBY: Nothing. It's just that... I picked the easiest piece I could remember. I think I first played it when I was 8 years old and I played it better then.

CATHERINE: It doesn't matter. It was the feeling I was affected by.

BOBBY: I didn't have any.

CATHERINE: You had no inner feeling?

BOBBY: None.

CATHERINE: Then I must have been supplying it.

CATHERINE: That was beautiful, Robert. I'm surprised...

BOBBY: Thank you.

CATHERINE: I was really very moved by the way you...

CATHERINE: I mean, how could you not play anymore? That's so strange to me...

BOBBY: I have played a few times. Here and there. As a matter of fact, I was once a rehearsal pianist for a Las Vegas musical revue.

CATHERINE: You don't call that music, though.

BOBBY: Of course I do. It's music. You know...

CATHERINE: One thing that's hard to understand is how you could have this incredible background in music, and then just walk away from it, without a second thought...

BOBBY: I gave it a second thought.

CATHERINE: Carl has hydrotherapy on Tuesdays.

BOBBY: The day after tomorrow.

CATHERINE: If you're free.

BOBBY: Yeah, I'll probably be free.

CATHERINE: After that, I plan to read some music and rest for awhile.

BOBBY: Tomorrow, then.

CATHERINE: Tomorrow's a full practice day... But the day after is kind of open.

CATHERINE: Right now I'm going to run a hot tub and soak myself.

BOBBY: Then after that?

BOBBY: Besides piano and swimming, what else do you do?

CATHERINE: Well, there's fishing and boating. There's concerts on the mainland and... but I feel silly telling you. This is really your home. You probably know better than I what there is to do.

BOBBY: Nothing.

CATHERINE: Nothing? Then it must be very boring for you here.

BOBBY: That's right. Have you anything to suggest?

CATHERINE: I don't know. Let me give it some thought.

CATHERINE: I love to swim, and I don't mind the cold at all. It's invigorating.

BOBBY: Well, I wouldn't want to get too invigorated myself.

CATHERINE: Why?

BOBBY: What would I do with it? Run amok?

CATHERINE: Hello...

BOBBY: I guess you fell in the water.

CATHERINE: Yes, intentionally.

BOBBY: That's dangerous, you know.

CATHERINE: Swimming?

BOBBY: Playing piano all day and then jumping into cold water. You could get a cramp.

CATHERINE: What have you been doing since then?

BOBBY: What have I been doing? Different things, different jobs, here and there. Nothing that interesting.

CATHERINE: And you no longer play at all?

CARL: Robert, I think you better just...

BOBBY: You're all full of shit!

BOBBY: Oh, for chrissakes...

CARL: Robert, let's not be rude, okay?

BOBBY: That's three games to none, Carl.

CARL: All right, let's have a rematch.

BOBBY: I thought you had to go to the mainland today. Aren't you going to miss the ferry?

CARL: See? There's nothing wrong with the way I walk. Now where are we?

BOBBY: At game, Carl.

CARL: I've walked across a stage a number of times, without exciting any particular response...

BOBBY: That's what I mean...

CARL: I'm not aware of it. Like what?

BOBBY: Your serve. Two -- Eighteen.

BOBBY: You sure you should be playing, Carl?

CARL: What do you mean? Aside from my neck, I'm in superb shape.

CARL: Robert, do you mind?

BOBBY: What?

CARL: Nothing. Will you excuse us for a while?

CARL: I hope you feel at home, Robert. I'm really glad you're here.

BOBBY: Thanks, Carl...

CARL: She's tremendously gifted, this girl.

BOBBY: Is she?

CARL: Did you hear about my misfortune, Robert?

BOBBY: What?

CARL: It's still nearly impossible for me to turn my neck. If I wanted to turn toward Catherine, for instance, I'd first have to twist the whole base of my body around... ... like this...

BOBBY: Four or five years.

CARL: No, the last time was three years ago.

DRIVER: Haven't you got a jacket or anything with you?

BOBBY: No, I don't, I uh... it got burned up. Everything in the car got the shit burned out of it. All I got left is what I have on...

DRIVER: I've got an extra jacket behind the seat, if you want to put it on.

BOBBY: No, it's okay.

DRIVER: Suit yourself. But I'll tell you, where we're headed is gonna get colder'n hell.

BOBBY: It's all right. I'm fine.

DRIVER: Come on, get moving, dammit!!

BOBBY: Will you shut up for a minute!! Pull your car out of line.

RAYETTE: What kind of doggy is that?

CARL: It's a Borzoi.

RAYETTE: Oh, uh huh. I had a little kittycat once, that Bobby give me...

CARL: No, you're not. Go ahead and take your time.

RAYETTE: I do eat slow as a bird, whereas Bobby can put it away like a speed swing... Is there any ketchup around?

CARL: You've been staying in a motel all this time?

RAYETTE: For two whole weeks, an' there wasn't hardly nobody there to talk to but me. The manager of the place told me it was the off season, an' it must a ben, because other'n me, there was just this 25-year-old kid, DeLyon, that didn't appear to be all there, an' this old married pair next to me that was always hollerin' for quiet. Can you imagine? All you could a heard there was a pin, an' them, hollerin' away...

CARL: I don't understand why you had to stay in a motel. There's more than enough room here.

RAYETTE: Well, I was goin' to, but Bobby said he hadda kind of feel things up here first, which I can understand, but then it went an' took so long, I ran flat outa money... I didn't have no number to call, you know. So I hadda clear outa there an' come on up here, in the hopes that I wouldn't be intrudin' myself...

CARL: Oh, no. You're more than welcome.

RAYETTE: Well, thank you, that's a very nice thing for you to say.

CARL: Not at all.

TITA: What's wrong, Carl, you hardly ate anything...

CARL: I took some aspirin and it really upset my stomach.

CARL: You know, just after I came back off tour with the Betenthaller Quartet, Dad, myself and Herbert had a summit conference about you...

TITA: Oh, my, "a summit conference." I wonder where I was, polishing silver behind the coal bin.

CARL: I don't know where you were, penis envy.

TITA: I hope I didn't hear that.

CARL: At any rate, Dad wanted to hire a private detective to ferret you out, and I said, "What for?" Whatever the hell he's doing, even if it's a completely wasteful escapade, it's entirely his business. Simple as that...

TITA: Oh no, it's been much more than that.

CARL: Away from the piano, Tita, you have no sense of time at all.

TITA: I don't think that's true.

CARL: It is true.

TITA: Besides being very rude.

SAMIA: But I'd like to say, so that I don't dampen the spirit of your adventure...

CATHERINE: You haven't dampened my spirit, Samia... Excuse me.

SAMIA: Well, I should hope not...

SAMIA: ... which should exclude you from any objective discussion. But keep in mind, even the arts aren't free of aggressive content, nor the institution of marriage.

CATHERINE: I think these cold, "objective" discussions are aggressive, Samia...

CATHERINE: And what about love?

SAMIA: What about it? Wouldn't you agree that a great deal of mischief has been done in the name of love?

CATHERINE: No, I wouldn't.

SAMIA: Well, you're a romantic, Catherine, as are most musicians, and what's more, about to be married...

RAYETTE: Salesmen and cops are the ones. If you'd ever waitressed, honey, you'd know.

PALM: Don't call me "honey," mack.

RAYETTE: Don't call me "mack," honey.

PALM: I wouldn't be a waitress. They're nasty and full of crap.

RAYETTE: You better hold onto your tongue!

PALM: Hold onto this.

PALM: Hey, follow that truck. They know the best places to stop.

RAYETTE: That's an old maid's tale.

PALM: Bullshit! Truck drivers know the best eating places on the road.

RAYETTE: Well...

PALM: Not dirt. See, dirt isn't bad. It's filth. Filth is bad. That's what starts maggots and riots...

RAYETTE: There'd never be a hole big enough. Now took at me, for instance, when I was just one person, before Bobby, I had so much garbage collectin' onto me every day, I was thinkin' about gettin a dispose all...

PALM: A dispose-all, what's that but more crap? I've never seen such crap. Oofh, I don't know how people get up in the morning.

PALM: Come on, Terry, we got a ride!

RAYETTE: Jesus, what a rude person...

PALM: And you know, I read where they invented this car that runs on... that runs on... when you boil water...

TERRY: Steam.

PALM: Right, steam. A car you could ride around in and not cause a stink. But do you know, they will not even let us have it. Can you believe it? Why?! Man! He likes to create a stink. I wrote them a note once, and told them to clean it... I mean, don't you see that? It's just filthy! I mean, I've seen filth you wouldn't believe! Oofh, what a stink! I don't even want to talk about it...

TERRY: Mass production is what does it.

PALM: What do you mean "mass"... I have to come out and tell you, you're not that clean, either.

TERRY: Wait a minute. I'm not that neat, maybe, but I am clean.

PALM: Well, you're not that bad, but some people... I mean, people's homes, just filth. I've been in people's homes...

TERRY: In my personal observation, I think that more people are neat than are clean...

PALM: In my personal thing, I don't see that. I'm seeing more filth. A lot of filth. What they need to do every day, no, once in a while, is a cockroach thing, where they spray the homes. And uh... can you imagine, if their doors were painted a pretty color, and they had a pot outside, with...

TERRY: Yeah, it could be adorable...

PALM: And they picked up! I mean, it wouldn't be filthy, with Coke bottles and whiskey, and those signs everywhere...

SAMIA: The choice of words, "squashed flat," juxtaposed against the image of a fluffy kitten...

RAYETTE: Well, she was.

SAMIA: Perhaps...

SAMIA: John believes in the basic goodness of man, and that's fine, but gaze into the pit like I have and that view seems a little soporific. And not unlike television, it hardly represents the real world...

RAYETTE: There's some good things on it, though.

SAMIA: Pardon me?

RAYETTE: The TV. There's some good things on it, sometimes.

SAMIA: I strongly doubt it, but I wasn't really discussing media...

SECOND ENGINEER: I'd like to remind you again, this isn't an opera or a musical comedy.

TITA: Oh... I'm sorry. Was I singing again?

SECOND ENGINEER: If you want to call it that.

TITA: Well, you have to simply tell me, that's all.

SECOND ENGINEER: That's exactly what I am doing, again.

TITA: Do you have to let me get halfway through the movement first? This is tiring me.

SECOND ENGINEER: I have a suggestion. Why don't we take a break.

TITA: Oh, for pity's sake...

SECOND ENGINEER: Miss Dupea.

TITA: Yes.