Legend

1ST DEMON: We come watch... we come watch...

BARON: Nay. This is a private affair, no audience welcome... Better you watch the dismantling of our enemies... and, look you, see the moat is set aflame.

1ST DEMON: Fire moat... why do that?

BARON: Purely a precaution...

1ST DEMON: You go? Not watch fun?

BARON: I have something far more pleasant awaiting me.

BARON: Fight's over before it's begun... soon the survivors will be in full retreat.

1ST DEMON: Then we smash 'em?

BARON: Anything left for smashing you may happily smash.

1ST DEMON: Fool's magic.

BARON: Precisely. Faith has persuaded them a pygmie with a sling can kill an armed giant.

1ST DEMON: Why so few?

BARON: Faith.

2ND DEMON: More fun win battle?

BARON: This is another victory, my friends. What began with the lash shall be concluded with a caress.

2ND DEMON: You go to lady now?

BARON: To finish last evening's delightful work.

2ND DEMON: We watch... good fun...

BARON: Indeed, the best of fun... Enjoy yourselves.

2ND DEMON: Birdies... pretty...

BARON: I doubt the faeries will admire their beauty... Come, this will be fun to watch.

2ND DEMON: Dumb magic. Giant smash peewee.

BARON: Always.

2ND DEMON: We go out, smash 'em now?

BARON: No. Smashing is not required. I have a surprise for our tiny invaders... Raise that hatch!

2ND DEMON: What?

BARON: Delusion... a kind of magic which works against the magician.

LILI: And I with you... I never dreamed life held such pleasures...

BARON: Pleasure is for those who seize it! Do you think those insipid, pale- skinned mortals will ever know such rapture?

LILI: It's odd... when I first found myself... changing... I was sick with loathing and disgust. I thought I was so ugly I wanted to die...

BARON: And, now?

LILI: Now I want to live forever. I've never felt so strong or happy.

BARON: Or looked so beautiful...

LILI: Yes. I feel that, too. Weakness is what is ugly.

BARON: Precisely, my darling. Your animal strength, your primitive power has surfaced... you are what you desire.

LILI: To be strong and free... that is all I desire.

BARON: So you shall be... Like our brothers, the hawk and the wolf, our spirits know no master... we are created in the pure image of the savage God that set our turbulent universe in motion.

LILI: What was that? Did you hear that?

BARON: It's nothing. My men take great delight in routing the enemy. Don't trouble yourself, beauty.

LILI: It sounded like it came from the courtyard.

BARON: From the parapets most likely. The men are amused by a battlefield entertainment of my own contriving.

LILI: Might we watch, too?

BARON: Later, beloved... Now I wish only to be with you...

LILI: You're a beast!

BARON: Indeed I am, my dear... that makes us a pair!

BARON: We'll get you cleaned up, find a suitable gown... I imagine you'll enjoy a good meal?

LILI: Oh, yes...

BARON: A few day's nourishment will see your strength returning.

LILI: And then?

BARON: Yes?

LILI: What will become of me then?

BARON: When you are ripe for my pleasure, I will enjoy the harvest.

LILI: I see...

BARON: I'm pleased you're not troubled by the prospect...

LILI: Do as you wish with my body, you'll never possess my soul!

BARON: Your soul...? Why should I bother with such a paltry trifle?

LILI: I don't expect you'd understand.

BARON: My dear Princess, the human soul is a highly elusive commodity. I suggest you spend some hours before the glass. Contemplate your intriguing reflection and consider whether such a creature as yourself could possibly possess something as fine and beautiful as a soul.

BARON: Sweet Princess, you begin to sound most reasonable.

LILI: What do you want from me?

BARON: At the moment, very little. Your company at my table...

LILI: No more... please...

BARON: I can keep a victim alive for weeks... months, if I desire it... it's an art. They beg for death... I keep it just out of their reach. The pain remains constant.

LILI: Don't please... I'll do what you desire...

BARON: Your moans seem almost pleasurable, my dear... developing a taste for the lash?

LILI: Kill me... I want... so nice...

BARON: Why should I kill you? A simple course in etiquette... something your parents sadly overlooked.

LILI: Jack... Oh, Jack... Help me...

BARON: Too bad your precious Jack can't hear you... the damsel in distress... A rescue attempt would be most amusing... We could flay sweet Jack alive as an after-dinner entertainment...

BARON: When the time's come, you won't need to jump, I'll throw you out myself!

LILI: Do it now!

BARON: No. Now is the time for discipline. Some lessons in obedience for the future Baroness.

LILI: Damn you!

BARON: We're both of us damned, my beauty.

LILI: God protect me.

BARON: Not from me, surely...

LILI: You... you're a beast!

BARON: We're all of us beasts, my dear. Only most are afraid to show it.

LILI: And you... are you not also afraid?

BARON: I am afraid of nothing.

LILI: Then why hide behind a mask? You are ashamed!

BARON: I know no more of shame than I do of fear. I wear this mask not for concealment but protection.

LILI: Protection?

BARON: I am a creature of darkness. I require the shadow's solace and the black of night... Sunlight is abhorrent to me... I cover myself completely whenever I venture forth in daylight... Sunshine is my destroyer.

LILI: Like some vile toadstool.

BARON: I prefer to think, more like the sagacious owl.

LILI: Do you feed on mice and rats?

BARON: I prefer a plump capon, but will happily serve you rats if they're to your liking.

LILI: Why have you brought me here?

BARON: To be my bride, of course.

LILI: I'd soon die.

BARON: My generosity is not so large as that.

LILI: What do you want with me?

BARON: Your love.

LILI: Your words sting more sharply than your whip.

BARON: I speak of love, and you think only of the lash.

LILI: You are cruel! Your heartless jesting worse than torture! How can you speak of love when you see what I am!

BARON: I like well what I see. It pleases me.

LILI: But I'm hideous!

BARON: You're magnificent.

LILI: Grotesque... monstrous...

BARON: On the contrary! The puling, pallid creature you were before was truly something disgusting. Now you are splendid... a fierce goddess... the embodiment of all that is strong and beautiful.

LILI: You lie! You wish to humiliate me, as if the form I'm forced to bear were not punishment enough!

BARON: You should glory in your animal nature. It is your triumph! None know that better than I!

JACK: No, wait... please... listen...

DRAGON: No more listening! Your time is at an end, insignificant whelp!

DRAGON: What you do, boy? You be velly solly, come here intellupt my sleep.

JACK: I didn't know... I --

DRAGON: What? Speakee loud! No hear velly good.

JACK: I said, I mean no harm... I thought this as empty tomb.

DRAGON: You come stealee tleasoo?

JACK: Oh, no, never... nothing like that... never crossed my mind.

DRAGON: No need lie, boy. I no hurt you. Do I look like I wanna hurt you?

JACK: Well, er... no. I mean, you don't look like dragons I've heard of.

DRAGON: Course not. I no flum here. I come flum Cathay.

JACK: Cathay?

DRAGON: Country fa' fa' away. To the East, beyond the lising sun...

JACK: East of Mercia?

DRAGON: You got no idee. People there lookee diffelent; speakee diffelent. Nothing the same. In my countlee I bling good luck. Makee lain and thunder.

JACK: You don't ravage the countryside, devouring maidens and burning the crops?

DRAGON: Dlagon not like that. Dlagon is spilit of life... spilit of stlength and goodness.

JACK: Then you'll understand my quest. An ogre named Blackheart has killed the last stag unicorn and stolen his horn. The world outside is cursed, plunged into eternal winter. Unless I return the alicorn, the earth will be frozen forever.

DRAGON: Flozen foleva not good.

JACK: It's terrible.

DRAGON: An' how you do it? How you rift cuss?

JACK: I need your help. In order to fight Blackheart, I must wear the armor of Achilles. I --

DRAGON: You come stealee tleasoo?

JACK: Oh no... Don't you understand?

OGG: Baron Couer de Noir is a blight 'gainst all nature. We dwarves be not fighters; still we are with you in this battle. Some of our handiwork may be of assistance.

GUMP: We be honored, friend Ogg.

OGG: There's a coil of golden thread fine as spider web yet naught can break it... and a silver key no lock can resist.

GUMP: Friend Ogg. Excuse our enthusiasm, occasioned as it was by a fondness for you.

OGG: Honeythorn Gump, is it? I've not seen your ugly face since you sold me a jug of cow piss claiming it was dragon's tears.

GUMP: Well, bygones're bygones, I always say.

OGG: Or was it the time you and Jimmy Squarefoot stole the golden apples I'd forged.

GUMP: Twas Jimmy done that, I merely stood for the blame unfairly... but, here now, Ogg, this be no time to rehash old differences, I've friends along in need of safe haven for the night.

OGG: Who might these friends be?

GUMP: Screwball you know, and many other of the wee folk. We serve as escort for our grand champion, Jack o' the Green.

GUMP: You must find the ring... It completes the cycle; answers the riddle...

JACK: I'll try.

GUMP: You're good at riddles... Find the ring and the spell is broken.

JACK: The quest's at an end and where's the good of it? A faerie festival over a pile of bones?

GUMP: Tis not the wound, that's sure. Not a scar remains... we're talking about a spell; harder to repair than sword-work.

JACK: I'll do anything... face any challenge!

GUMP: Might not need a gesture quite so grand. What were you doing the very moment the Baron's curse fell on the world?

JACK: I was with the Princess.

GUMP: Where?

JACK: By the pond. She was teasing me.

GUMP: Go on... go on...

JACK: She tossed her ring in the pond and bid me fetch it. Said she'd marry me if I did.

GUMP: And did you?

JACK: Nay. It was lost. When I came up for air the pond was frozen over.

GUMP: That's it then... the ring!

JACK: A good day for singing...

GUMP: I've not heard a note out of you.

JACK: Not in the mood, I'm afraid.

GUMP: Listen to him. Not in the mood...

GUMP: On a day like none other the blessed earth has ever seen... A day so fair as forty springtimes --

JACK: I'm not denying it's a joyous day --

GUMP: Where's your joy if you cannot sing?

JACK: Were the Princess Lili to join me I would sing till my lungs burst!

GUMP: She lives... isn't that worth singing about?

JACK: She lives like all the world before the Baron's curse lifted. Now the world's reborn, yet still she sleeps...

GUMP: Ride like wild fire, Jack.

JACK: He'll not escape me.

GUMP: You're on your own... like a true champion.

GUMP: Ever wondered why Jenny Greenteeth said you needed the fastest steed on earth?

JACK: Sapphire!

JACK: He's getting away! He was at my mercy!

GUMP: Never show mercy!

JACK: I could have struck off his head just now!

JACK: Seems to be some sort of vaulted chamber up ahead...

GUMP: Don't get too far!

JACK: Hurry up!

JACK: Can't we move any faster?

GUMP: Tis a delicate operation, lad. Requires a bit of engineering... Next!

JACK: Hey! Stop it! I can't see.

GUMP: Ah, but you will. And so will the Baron, when we bring a little light to his dark hideaway.

JACK: Will you explain what's going on?

GUMP: Patience, lad.

GUMP: The kitchen be the most important room in a palace, for if the victuals ain't right, little else is likely to be so.

JACK: Did you bring me here to sup?

GUMP: Nay, lad, we're here to collect a weapon you'll need fighting the Baron.

JACK: What weapon?

GUMP: Sunlight.

JACK: Plan on carrying some away in a kettle?

GUMP: Easier than that, Jack. Screwball! Fetch me down a couple of them plates.

JACK: The Baron hides in the dark in a passage under the Castle... Quick, give me the dwarf's key... the one which opens any lock...

GUMP: In the dark, lad? Why should he do that?

JACK: Because sunlight will kill him. Quickly now, give me the key.

GUMP: Sunlight, you say?

JACK: Aye. Hurry now, Gump, the key!

GUMP: Mean you to seek him out below?

JACK: I'm not afraid of the dark.

GUMP: I admire your valor, Jack. By all means, seek him out... But first, we needs visit the kitchen.

GUMP: She's sore hurt, Jack, tis true, but not dead yet.

JACK: The wound is mortal.

GUMP: Nay. You've not reckoned with the powers of faerie medicine.

JACK: Can you save her?

GUMP: Easily... The question is, can we save ourselves? Be a shame to win the battle only to lose the war.

JACK: I don't... understand.

GUMP: The alicorn, lad. Come to your senses! Unless we find Baron Couer de Noir and bring back the horn the world is doomed.

GUMP: Jack! The courtyard's been taken... The Baron's forces are besieged in the south tower. No sign of... Jack? Do you hear what I'm saying? We've won, lad.

JACK: It doesn't matter.

GUMP: Nonsense! Course it matters.

JACK: ... the Princess Lili... I've killed her.

JACK: He'll be atop the portculis ere long.

GUMP: Best get down close to the moat, lad.

JACK: Aye. We're good as inside.

GUMP: It's what we'll find there worries me.

JACK: Have the engineers corrected for alignment and trajectory?

GUMP: Aye. Before the wee pesties attacked.

JACK: Then it's Godspeed, Screwball.

GUMP: Fire away!

JACK: One more turn...

GUMP: That's it!

JACK: Water doesn't burn...

GUMP: And frog don't fly and bite like tomcats. It be magic, Jack... powerful ogre's magic.

JACK: There isn't much time!

GUMP: Been telling you that all along, lad.

JACK: What magic have we on our side?

GUMP: Faerie magic's no match for a sorcerer's power... We have Ogg's gifts, the key and the --

JACK: That's it! The unbreakable line! We'll tie it to an arrow and fire it up into the timbers above the portculis... then, I'll climb up and chop down the drawbridge.

GUMP: Will you chance a miss?

JACK: There must be some way to get it up there.

GUMP: A fine mess this is... horrid, nipping creatures... What do we now, Jack?

JACK: Defend ourselves. We've bested far worse already.

GUMP: Easily spoken...

JACK: Don't loose heart... Assemble the archers. Have everyone not holding a shield man a bow. Shoot the damned things as they fly.

GUMP: There aren't enough arrows.

JACK: Never mind. Just do it! Retrieve the arrows somehow.

GUMP: Tells you something 'bout him what lives there...

JACK: We'll need more siege machinery and longer scaling ladders.

GUMP: Why not mine the damned walls?

JACK: We do both. Our frontal attack a diversion whilst we drive a tunnel under...

GUMP: That be so, better you pinch yourself now, Jack.

JACK: On the morrow I'll be awake enough to see if dreams come true.

GUMP: Pray they don't turn out to be nightmares.

JACK: Give in to despair and all is lost.

GUMP: It feels wrong, Jack... like a trap.

JACK: There's more than one way to spring a trap.

GUMP: Aye, so long as you're not too greedy for the bait.

GUMP: Don't like the feel of it, Jack.

JACK: It's your own fear troubles you... We're here, aren't we? For all the dark magic protecting it.

GUMP: Never felt so cold in all me born days...

JACK: The chill is worse this night.

JACK: Can we trust him?

GUMP: No... but what choice have we?

GUMP: Aye. We be on a quest to set the world aright --

JACK: But seem to have gotten lost on the way.

GUMP: Hold, Jack! Don't strike!

JACK: Nay. I show no pity to imps and fiends.

GUMP: I know the rogue, Jack. Tis Jimmy Squarefoot.

GUMP: Wait, Jack.

JACK: Nay. This time we strike first!

JACK: Why not admit it, Honeythorn Gump. We've lost our way entirely.

GUMP: Long as we don't lose heart, Jack...

JACK: We'll never find the Baron's castle.

GUMP: Once you thought we'd never find the Greek's armor and look at ye now, decked out like a proper hero.

GUMP: Is she... dead?

JACK: No, thank the Lord, but she be sore envenomed by the spider's bite.

GUMP: We're blind now. Oona was our eyes and ears. How do we find the Castle Couer de Noir without her?

JACK: We'll find it.

GUMP: Easily said... the raven passed this way hours ago.

JACK: Heading true north. We continue in that direction.

GUMP: Never knowing when it takes a turn or changes course.

JACK: We'll trust in faith, Gump.

GUMP: Aye, lad... we've little else to go by.

JACK: Archers! Bring down that spider! I'll deal with this other creature...

GUMP: Stay on your guard, Jack. The bug is enchanted surely.

JACK: Wait!

GUMP: Willful creature, that one...

GUMP: What make ye of that, Jack?

JACK: It bodes evil.

GUMP: God's blessing.

JACK: There's the way, mates.

GUMP: ... this rate... we'll all be in our graves... 'fore we reach the Baron's fortress...

JACK: We'll surely be in our graves if we don't.

GUMP: Going grows slower... we've not made... half a mile in two hours...

JACK: Make haste! We've a hard day's march ahead.

GUMP: Be gentle with them, Jack. They only march to please you. Were this a faerie journey, we'd ride the wind on thistledown and ragwort stems.

GUMP: Don't let this talk of heroes upset you, Jack. Sigurd's sword is no great thing. The Volsung killed Fafnir. You killed Lindfarne. That's one worm apiece... I'd say you and Sigurd were neck-and-neck.

JACK: We're not in a tournament, Gump. Ah, but a sword twice tempered in the blood of living dragons...

GUMP: Tis not the sword that counts, but the man what swings it. Rest easy, Jack.

JACK: God protect you, Honeythorn Gump.

GUMP: Your strong right arm's all the protection I'll need this night.

JACK: I pray always to be worthy of it.

GUMP: Stoutly spoke, lad. These dwarves be sore grouches... Pay no heed to their spiteful grumbling.

GUMP: I should hope not!

JACK: Gump, you're putting words in my mouth.

GUMP: Shhh! Not so loud, mayhap he'll hear ye.

GUMP: Dwarves be very sensitive about their feet.

JACK: Certainly understandable.

GUMP: Very secretive, they are. Keep their feet covered up. Best if you don't mention it.

JACK: My God! Look!

GUMP: Something the matter?

JACK: Ogg's footprints!

JACK: Nice piece of work.

GUMP: Pure gold it is... plays a different note every time.

JACK: And this? Some of their handiwork?

GUMP: Nay. That's but to distract the casual visitor. A dwarf is too busy to suffer fools gladly.

JACK: Better to kill than be disturbed.

GUMP: Your imagination runs away with you, Jack... Those bones be but battlefield gleanings, like I mentioned. A wee bit of carrion to frighten off the uninvited.

JACK: Here is a bold champion's reward; to serve as a dwarf's doorstop.

JACK: Twould appear other travelers precede us.

GUMP: Nay, Jack, tis not what you're thinking.

JACK: I trust our own welcome will be more hospitable.

GUMP: Jack, Jack, it's dwarves live here. Hard-working chaps. Hammering in the forge all the live-long day. Make the most wondrous things, they do.

JACK: Good.

GUMP: Beyond Devil's Needle, all is unknown.

JACK: Oona tells me the raven has roosted for the night on a sharp stone spire some half a mile distance.

GUMP: That would be Devil's Needle. Last landmark I know in these woods.

JACK: There... it seems to quit... I'll wager that war held other attractions quite apart from nursing.

GUMP: Well... if the knight be already dead; what harm is there in... borrowing a thing or two?

JACK: Stealing his arms?

GUMP: Worse than the battlefield.

JACK: What know you of fields of war?

GUMP: Ofttimes, the wee folk come out to tend the wounded... staunch bleeding with cobwebs... give a parched mouth a sip of dew... cool a fevered brow...

JACK: This is ogre's magic.

GUMP: Blackheart?

JACK: Aye. He's enchanted the lot of them. His reward for delivering the unicorn.

GUMP: Foul fellow, this Couer de Noir.

JACK: The foulest. Mayhap I can cut them free.

GUMP: Jack, don't!

GUMP: How do we follow a raven we can't even see?

JACK: Send Oona up above the tree tops. She be our eyes.

GUMP: Good plan that.

JACK: We must follow that bird.

GUMP: Whatever for?

JACK: Jenny Greenteeth said: "Follow the raven in her flight..."

GUMP: Aye. Said to follow it to the edge of night. But is this the right bird?

JACK: I'm sure. It spoke to me.

GUMP: Birds speak to me all the time. What did it say?

JACK: Beware.

GUMP: Sounds like the bird we want. All right lads, follow yon raven!

GUMP: Fine-looking army.

JACK: We march on Castle Couer de Noir within the hour.

GUMP: How do you plan on finding this here castle, if ye don't mind me asking?

JACK: A true and troubling question, Gump... We'll start from where the unicorn was killed. The Baron must have left a trail.

GUMP: Track the demon to his lair.

JACK: Aye. And hang his foul hide up like dirty laundry for the drying.

GUMP: Don't see why I can't ride, too! I'm second in command, damn it!

JACK: The colt's still too small.

GUMP: I'm small... and I can make myself smaller still... Small as a bee! Small as dust...! Want to see me do it?

JACK: We've no time for tricks this day, Honeythorn Gump.

GUMP: Tricks, is it? Why I'll trick ye! Ungrateful whelp! I'll sour your milk and bird droppings'll fall from the sky wherever ye walk.

JACK: Save your mischief for the Black Baron.

GUMP: Aye! That too.

JACK: You'll need more than bird droppings for Blackheart.

GUMP: I'll drop a cow on the knave!

JACK: Drop a mountain on him and we won't need our troops.

JACK: Damn them!

GUMP: Careful, lad.

GUMP: Pregnant, is she?

JACK: It would appear so.

JACK: What is it?

GUMP: Something's coming.

JACK: Shhhh!

GUMP: Screwball! You dolt! I've a mind to change you into a toad.

JACK: I believe this is a sword such as the archangels wield. Surely St. Michael had so fine a blade when he drove the serpent from heaven.

GUMP: Well then, you've got the sword and you've got the armor; all's lacking is the steed.

JACK: By the grace of God.

GUMP: No false modesty, lad. You're a proper champion. Achilles' armor sits on you like it was forged to fit.

GUMP: There be no finer victuals than worm flesh, lad.

JACK: Better we eat him than the other way round.

GUMP: Better pray the worm's a sound sleeper, Jack.

JACK: You do the praying. I've work ahead.

GUMP: There's the spirit, lad. If ye run into trouble, give a yank here and we'll haul ye up.

JACK: What's left of me... How do I recognize the armor of Achilles?

GUMP: You'll know it when you see it... tis a splendid sight, all covered with gold... Don't fear making noise. Dragons be deaf as tree stumps.

JACK: So I'm to be a dragon-slayer, is that it?

GUMP: Now, Jack-lad, no one's asking ye to skewer the worm. Even St. Michael'd have a job on his hands for all that. But the serpent hoards a pile of booty, Achilles' armor among his treasures... if we find our way within the mound and him asleep...

JACK: Knaves and robbers...

GUMP: There it be, lad. The Lindfarne Mound. Kings long forgotten lie there, lost in their final sleep.

JACK: Have we turned grave-robber, then?

GUMP: A tomb it once was, boy, and a tomb it may yet be... There's another in residence at Lindfarne now.

JACK: And who might that be?

GUMP: No less a creature than the Lindfarne Worm.

JACK: The princess is dead.

GUMP: Lamentable news, Jack... but tis the fate of the living concerns us now.

JACK: Did you hear? Twas the killing of the unicorn caused it.

GUMP: Aye. Black Baron's mischief.

JACK: If the horn be restored the curse is ended.

GUMP: Time for a champion. Can you do more than pick acorns and rob bird's nests, Jack?

JACK: I'll do what I have to do, for Princess Lili's sake!

GUMP: Bravely spoke. You've the heart of a champion, true enough.

JACK: Twill take more than heart. Where do we find the armor of Achilles, for a start?

GUMP: I know where to find it. Taking possession be another matter.

GUMP: Here now. Toss her this when you've the chance. Jenny Greenteeth can't resist the sight of herself in a glass. She's terribly vain. Praise her beauty and you'll lull her sweet as a babe in a cradle.

JACK: And if she thinks me a liar?

GUMP: Fie on what she thinks! You mind her claws and teeth... Cast your spell, Oona.

JACK: Are we here?

GUMP: Aye. That foul wallow be where Jenny Greenteeth dwells. Oona... lure her out. Play the part of a girl-child.

JACK: What do I do?

GUMP: Don't get caught, that's what! She'll suck your bones like honey- comb.

GUMP: Someone worthy of respect, lad. She be a water spirit, lives in a bog down at sea-side. Hideous creature to look at, even by my doubtful standards; devours little children, she does, when she can catch them.

JACK: How is it this hag knows the truth?

GUMP: Think there be truth only in beauty, lad? If you've the courage to ask and take care to avoid her terrible claws, Jenny Greenteeth has the answers you seek.

JACK: Will you lead me to her?

GUMP: Aye. On the morrow we go, but tonight... ... tonight is for making merry.

GUMP: That much magic I can offer ye, a small measure of entertainment at best. Making the world a frozen hell is beyond me modest powers.

JACK: Then, what's gone wrong? Why did it happen?

GUMP: If ye want more tricks, I'm your man, but for big questions ye must go elsewhere.

JACK: Don't you care about what's happened?

GUMP: Course we care. What good's the world locked in a season of death. Frozen up, no folks to scare out of their wits on a summer's night; no babies to tickle; no more spells to cast... Think that's an enjoyable prospect?

JACK: There must be an answer somewhere.

GUMP: True... But it won't come easy or free. If ye want to ask, ask Jenny Greenteeth.

JACK: Jenny Greenteeth? Who's she?

JACK: But... but, why?

GUMP: Big question that, lad. Why what?

JACK: Why has this happened to the world? Why is it winter now, and dark?

GUMP: Aye. Honeythorn Gump'd be a powerful wizard indeed could he answer.

JACK: Don't you know?

GUMP: If you're looking for enchantment, Jack, that I can give thee...

GUMP: Elderberry wine. No finer drink under heaven.

JACK: It looks... er, delicious... Such a fine bouquet... very aromatic...

GUMP: Are ye afraid of me wine? Did your momma tell ye never to take food nor drink from the Wee Folk? Think if ye sup with the faeries you'll be enchanted?

JACK: Well... I... I don't want to be rude, but... it's generally known that --

GUMP: Generally known! What general ever knew more than to lace up his boots?

JACK: Please don't misunderstand. I am grateful for your hospitality and --

GUMP: He is afraid of enchantment! Will you listen to the fool prattle on.

GUMP: Why, Jack-lad, she likes you, is all. And what hot-blooded hero wouldn't welcome the affections of a fair nymph like Oona here...? If your blood runs so cold, boy, you be a corpse before your time.

JACK: What does she want from me?

GUMP: You be our guest, Jack.

JACK: I'm honored, Honeythorn Gump... but no more tricks.

GUMP: You have me word, lad. To answer a faerie riddle deserves as much.

JACK: Twas the Princess Lili gave me the answer... have you seen her, by chance?

GUMP: I've laid eyes on no mortal but you this day, Jack.

JACK: I fear she's lost.

GUMP: Mayhap you be the one what's lost, and she safe by the castle hearth... but, come Jack, we'll warm your bones.

GUMP: Damnation! Codfish and cockles! Gammon and trotters! You've bested me, Jack.

JACK: A riddle without an answer is but an empty cup when you're thirsty for wine.

GUMP: Well spoke. True to the mark. And if it's wine you're wanting, it's wine we shall have.

JACK: It's bluebells!

GUMP: What!

JACK: The flower. Bluebells. To hear them ringing means your life's at an end.

JACK: Enough!

GUMP: And how is it a mortal dare dictate to the faerie folk? Is me music not to your liking? Mayhap the dance of death by more your pleasure.

JACK: No... I... I need to rest.

GUMP: You'll have a long, long rest in the tomb, me lad.

JACK: I meant no disrespect.

GUMP: Didn't you now? Well then, answer me this riddle and all be forgiven.

JACK: And if I cannot?

GUMP: Why, Jack, then tis your death song I'll be strumming.

JACK: No! Tis not the time! I want no part of your frolic.

GUMP: Dance, Jack! The night's but begun.

GUMP: So, Jack... think you be a Green Man and not know Gump.

JACK: Gump, is it?

GUMP: Aye, Honeythorn Gump, come to serenade you, Jack... come to make you dance.

JACK: I'm in no mood for dancing.

GUMP: Oh, but you will be, Jack... Think you to sleep in a faerie ring and not spend the night a-dancing?

JACK: Faerie ring?

GUMP: To be sure.

GUMP: Dolt!

SCREWBALL: Sorry.

SCREWBALL: How're these?

GUMP: They'll do nicely.

GUMP: Start acting like you're worthy of this mission... Here. Whatever you do, don't dare drop it.

SCREWBALL: Nay, Sire, I'll cling to it as to life itself...

GUMP: Good, lad... Here, Jack, give me a hand with the windlass... There's a good fellow...

SCREWBALL: Aye... my Lord...

GUMP: Rise, Screwball, and into the basket with you.

SCREWBALL: Someone like Floki... or Squarefoot... or --

GUMP: You'll do it because I am you liege and I command you to do it!

SCREWBALL: Sweet slippers of Oisin!

GUMP: They've fired the moat!

SCREWBALL: Look at that shot! Three at once! I can't miss!

GUMP: Very thrifty. Even got your arrow back.

GUMP: Well done, lad.

SCREWBALL: Three cheers for our champion.

GUMP: We seek to undo the curse.

SCREWBALL: Gonna make ogre-stew!

SCREWBALL: Ogg lives there...! And Thurgis!

GUMP: Screwball! Be quiet...! We have friends live 'neath the Needle. They'll no doubt provide safe refuge for the night.

SCREWBALL: You see! You see!

GUMP: These chaps'll need a woodpecker to pick their teeth.

GUMP: Barely living, from the looks of it.

SCREWBALL: No, no, no... this is different!

GUMP: Well done, lad. Stout heart.

SCREWBALL: Wolf-slayer, worm-sticker... give a cheer for the champion!

SCREWBALL: Keep me belly full, Jack. Kill us another worm.

GUMP: Hush up, Screwball. Do your own worm-sticking if you like the taste so well.

SCREWBALL: Nay. Jack's the dragon-slayer, ain't you, Jack.

LILI: What's the matter?

JACK: Ouch! Something's biting me.

LILI: Biting you?

JACK: Pinching me!

LILI: Pinching? Where?

JACK: Everywhere! Ow!

LILI: I can't see a thing.

JACK: Nor can I. Damn! It's buzzing all around me. Ouch! I can hear it like a fly trapped inside my ear... Says its name is Oona!

LILI: Oona? Do you suppose it's a faerie?

JACK: Ow! Whatever it is, it hurts.

LILI: Nay, dearest Jack... you are to be my husband. I want none other.

JACK: But... I am a Green Man. I have no title, nor lands... scarce even a few vines and threads to keep the cold from my body.

LILI: You wear your weeds as well as golden armor, Jack. Like a true Prince... a champion!

JACK: Lili... I love you!

LILI: And I love you, my husband.

LILI: Sweet Jack. I'm so sorry you found me asleep. Don't know what came over me.

JACK: I can't have been under much more than a minute.

LILI: Seemed like weeks and weeks. Such a terrible dream... I could never tell you...

JACK: Is what you said about the ring but another dream?

LILI: Oh no, dearest Jack... I meant every word.

JACK: You're teasing still.

LILI: Oh! Green Jack! What a dream I've had... proper nightmare.

JACK: Whilst you were sleeping, I fetched your ring.

JACK: No! I won't let it happen...

LILI: You've freed me, Jack...

JACK: It's the Baron's damnable work! Too cowardly to stand and fight... he used you to save himself.

LILI: No... it's not you he's afraid of, it's... light...

JACK: What?

LILI: Sunlight... It destroys him.

JACK: Sunlight?

LILI: That's why he goes masked during the day...

JACK: So, he's hiding in the dark...

LILI: In the dark... where I join him...

JACK: No! Don't let go... you mustn't! I love you!

LILI: And I... love you...

JACK: I thought you were dead... I --

LILI: I was bewitched... it's better this way...

JACK: They told me you were dead.

JACK: What have I done?

LILI: Only what's right...

JACK: Lili! No!

LILI: Jack... Forgive me...

JACK: I'm afraid it may storm.

LILI: Let it. Haven't you a cozy bower we might hide in?

JACK: Tis not fit for a princess.

LILI: Be it fit for your wife, Green Jack?

JACK: I have no wife.

LILI: Then, perchance you'll me.

JACK: If wishes were horses even beggars would ride.

LILI: Do you wish it, Jack? Wish you this our wedding band?

JACK: What if I answer yes? Will my wish come true?

JACK: Not even the birds sing sweet as you.

LILI: Jack... Green Jack, you mustn't flatter me so.

JACK: Tis the truth.

LILI: A maid must beware of flattery... Methinks you want to kiss me.

JACK: There's no happier thought under heaven.

LILI: If I were your bride, would the kissing ever stop...? Do you wish to marry me, Jack?

JACK: My lady mocks me.

LILI: Nay, Jack, I'm but wary of your intentions.

JACK: My heart intends no more than that you love me as I do you.

LILI: Oh, la...

JACK: There are many would pay a king's ransom for a few drops of unicorn blood.

LILI: I don't want it on me.

JACK: Its powers are strong.

LILI: I don't want to be reminded of what happened.

JACK: Do you think memory can be washed away like a few spots of blood?

JACK: What happened?

LILI: I don't know. They've hurt the unicorn.

JACK: Who?

LILI: My father and the Baron.

JACK: Damned hunters. It was a trap, and you were the bait!

LILI: I didn't know... I didn't... It was so lovely... he was in my lap like... like a baby... and... I...

JACK: They tricked you.

LILI: My own father...

JACK: How bad was the unicorn's wound?

LILI: It happened so fast. He was hurt and ran away.

JACK: He did run?

LILI: Oh, yes, and the mare with him.

JACK: Good. They'll never catch him. There's not a mount in the kingdom can outrun a unicorn.

LILI: Where are you going?

JACK: To fetch your napkin.

LILI: Such grace... and their smell; it's ambrosia.

JACK: They rival the angels of paradise.

LILI: Oh Jack, mightn't I touch one? It would thrill me so.

JACK: Are you honest?

LILI: Jack!

JACK: Tis a fair question. If you be a virtuous maid the unicorn will lay his head in your lap.

LILI: He'll not flee if I show myself?

JACK: Not if you be chaste. Tis an awesome test of virginity.

LILI: I've no fear of failure. Your implications are most unbecoming.

JACK: I'm not your judge... nor have I any desire to witness the trial.

LILI: How much longer?

JACK: Shhh!

LILI: I am a princess. You have no right to order me about.

JACK: In these woods you are a commoner. Now be quiet. True royalty approaches.

LILI: Oh, dear.

JACK: What's the matter?

LILI: I've lost my napkin. It was all elf-work and lace... I must have dropped it when you startled me so.

JACK: I'll go search for it.

LILI: Don't leave me now. I fear the unicorn won't show himself without you.

JACK: I'm not its master.

LILI: The napkin will keep. I'd rather not be alone.

JACK: Your command is my wish, Princess Lili.

LILI: Let's rest a minute. I'm so thirsty.

JACK: Stop complaining.

LILI: A gentleman would offer water.

JACK: Only were he a fool to boot. See yon viper?

LILI: I detest serpents.

JACK: That viper has envenomed the water. No animal will drink here now.

LILI: What shall we do?

JACK: Be patient.

LILI: It's my father, gone a-hunting. The Baron Couer de Noir is his guest and must be provided with some sport.

JACK: Sport, indeed.

LILI: The Baron is a frightful man. They say he's an ogre. He wears a mask so none may see his face.

JACK: Blackheart. Aptly named.

LILI: Oh, fie. What about the unicorn?

JACK: Unicorn?

LILI: A promise is a sacred oath.

JACK: All right. I'll show you something sacred.

LILI: You promised!

JACK: Never.

LILI: But you did... you did!

JACK: I may have said perhaps...

LILI: Liar!

JACK: Or perchance...

JACK: These for me?

LILI: If you like.

JACK: Greetings, my lady, the green wood is honored.

LILI: Oh, Jack, you are a wild man to use me so.

JACK: Sigurd's sword...

OGG: Another hero's hand-me-down... Thurgis, note the armor; tis Greek work.

OGG: Step lively now!

JACK: His feet shall never cross my lips.

JACK: Honored to make your acquaintance.

OGG: Grand champion, is it? And what great cause leads you to me?

JACK: We seek the ogre, Baron Couer de Noir. He slew a unicorn and plunged the world into eternal winter.

OGG: Thought the weather terrible of late.

JACK: This is sad news, be it true.

JENNY: Don't be sad, Jack, not with me here to give you cheer.

JACK: Tis not the time to speak of cheer.

JENNY: You'll visit again?

JACK: As a hummingbird returns to the fairest blossom.

JENNY: What a fine meal you'd make, be the rest of you sweet as your tongue.

JACK: Here be the death weapon; the unicorn's blood dry upon it.

JENNY: Couer de Noir! A demon if the Devil ever made one.

JACK: He chopped off the horn and left the rest to rot.

JENNY: That would be the Baron's way. There'll be no light or life in the world until the alicorn is taken from him and he vanquished.

JACK: How do I get the horn back?

JENNY: You'll need the fastest steed alive, for Couer de Noir's castle rests at the very edge of the earth. Only the sharpest sword and the golden armor of Achilles will protect you from his fury.

JACK: Where do I find the Baron's castle?

JENNY: Follow the raven in her flight, Follow old black wing to the edge of night...

JACK: Not very precise directions.

JENNY: Come sit beside me, sweet boy, and I'll draw you a map.

JACK: Nay. Tempting as your invitation be. Tell me one thing more.

JENNY: Ask away, sweet man.

JACK: What became of the princess?

JENNY: Princess? I know of no princess.

JACK: Princess Lili, Godwin's daughter. She was with me when calamity struck, but after I could find no trace of her.

JENNY: Is she fair, this princess?

JACK: Exceeding fair.

JENNY: As fair as me?

JACK: Twould be to compare one star with another in the summer sky.

JENNY: She's dead!

JACK: No!

JENNY: Dead, dead, dead.

JACK: I don't believe you.

JENNY: Far as you're concerned she's dead, believe it or not.

JENNY: Think me fair, do you, Jack?

JACK: The moon herself would hide behind a cloud rather than dare comparison with you...

JENNY: The moon is too round of face, methinks.

JACK: The sight of you makes flowers seem like dross. All the heavenly angels must envy your grace.

JENNY: I like well your conceit, Jack. Tis rare to find an honest lad in this troubled world.

JACK: Aye. And it is the trouble befallen us that brings me here. I entreat you to tell me the cause of our surrounding sorrow, most lovely of the lovely.

JACK: Dear lad, what does winter bespeak but death? It is a time of mourning. This calamity is a curse. Something wondrous and beautiful has been taken from the world.

JACK: A unicorn's been slain. The last stallion in all the country.

JENNY: Why then, there thou hast. We be lucky worse has not befallen us.

JENNY: What's this now?

JACK: I bring you the only treasure worthy of your loveliness... for naught else in the universe rivals the reflected glory of your beauty.

JENNY: Well spoke, boy. You have discerning taste for one so young... Just who might you be?

JACK: They call me Green Jack, ma'am.

JENNY: Come closer then, Jack, that I might give you proper thanks.

JACK: Your fair smile be thanks enough. Better I stand afar to admire your beauty complete.

OONA: Is this a May Day pageant? Are you all off on a lark...? The raven passed this way hours ago!

JACK: Heading north still?

OONA: True north... Straight up that pass, through the net.

OONA: What care I for the human heart! Such a soft, spiritless thing it is. I prefer the hearts of hawks and wolves; fierce and free and keen as steel!

JACK: And as barren of love as stone.

OONA: I would build a wall around me with such stone, so the likes of you might never enter.

JACK: Be fair, Oona.

OONA: You beware, Jack! You and your porridge-pot heart!

JACK: Oona... don't cry... please, you mustn't...

OONA: You... you... you mortal you!

JACK: Please...

OONA: Why should I feel such pain? Should be the other way round... I could vex you... make you dance your life away...

JACK: Threats won't make me love you. Tis not the way of the human heart.

JACK: Nay, Oona, tis not possible.

OONA: A faerie's love makes anything possible.

JACK: I'm promised to another!

OONA: What shape I take matters not. Long you for another? I'll give you your heart's desire.

JACK: Never even had a sword in my hand until yesterday.

OONA: Then, tis not for chastity? Methought you kept a naked blade twixt you and any maiden chanced spend the night.

JACK: I live in an abandoned fox den neath the roots of a thousand-year-old oak. My bed is pine boughs and rabbit skins. There's no need of weaponry to keep the maids away.

OONA: I'm partial to oaks, as are all faerie folk. Mayn't I come visit sometime?

JACK: I'd be honored.

OONA: Only that?

JACK: And charmed, of course.

OONA: Fie! Don't speak of charms. I should charm you for being so dull- witted.

JACK: I had no thought of offending you, Oona.

OONA: Do I not please you, Jack?

JACK: In every way.

OONA: And am I not fair?

JACK: Wondrously so.

OONA: Then why do you speak sweeter words to Jenny Greenteeth?

JACK: That was in jest.

OONA: Jest with me then.

JACK: How so?

OONA: Tell me I'm fair, as you did the hag.

JACK: You are fair as the first new flower of spring...

OONA: And sweet?

JACK: Sweeter than bee pollen on a summer wind.

OONA: Pray you be sweet as your words, dear Jack.

OONA: Such a sad world, be there no unicorns to brighten it.

JACK: No fear of that now.

OONA: Were I a mortal girl, Jack, methinks I'd be in love with you.

JACK: Then I'd kiss you without turning my garments inside-out and sewing bells all over.

OONA: No need for bells, Jack. I'll nay enchant ye.

JACK: This is not the time for squabbling.

OONA: Sorry.

OONA: Courage, Jack.

JACK: I pray God grants it me.

JACK: Your fond wishes give me strength, dear friends.

SCREWBALL: No speeches! What's a little swim after sticking worms and ogres?

SCREWBALL: Sorry, Jack.

JACK: It's done... we'll never catch him.

SCREWBALL: Hello, Jack.

JACK: Done like a champion. Can you reach me with the line?

SCREWBALL: Maybe there's a better idea... What about birds... get a lift from some friendly bird...

JACK: Haven't heard a bird sing in days...

SCREWBALL: Or a kite...! We could make a kite... Let the wind do the work --

SCREWBALL: What care the bones when the soul is free?

JACK: Bah! You faeries have the morals of ferrets.

SCREWBALL: What can you steal from a man already lost his life?

JACK: His honor, I suppose... seeing he no longer can defend it.

JACK: Where?

SCREWBALL: Up ahead!

JACK: Come on, Gump, let's have a look at this witchcraft.

SCREWBALL: Master Jack! Master Jack! These woods are alive! They're alive!

JACK: Of course they're alive. All nature is living.

JACK: Praise be to God.

SCREWBALL: Small miracles better than no miracles...

JACK: I'm in your debt, Screwball.

SCREWBALL: Watch behind or I'll never collect on it!

SCREWBALL: What's she doing?

JACK: I think she's about to foal.

SCREWBALL: What do we do now?

JACK: We wait.

SCREWBALL: The fastest in the world.

JACK: I know where to find him... He lies out on the marsh, raven-fodder; his horn torn from his head.

JACK: You're with us in battle.

THURGIS: May God protect you.

THURGIS: Uhm... fine work.

JACK: Achilles wore it before the gates of Troy.

THURGIS: You're well equipped, I'd say. Legendary arms...

JACK: The Avatar. I like the sound of it.

THURGIS: Sigurd the Volsung slew Fafnir with that blade... See the line where Regin welded the break?

THURGIS: How came you by this blade?

JACK: I slew the Lindfarne Worm with it.

THURGIS: Each fit for a hero... My uncle fashioned a hammer for Thor. Twas he named it Mjolnir. Grandfather forged Excalibur... You won't ever see finer craftsmanship.

JACK: Oh, but I have.

JIMMY: Plenty treasure inside... Jimmy seen it once.

JACK: You've been inside?

JIMMY: In a dream.

JACK: Don't speak to me of dreams! I feel I've been dreaming since the unicorn was killed.

JIMMY: It be the castle... we feel the castle... it be that close...

JACK: A castle's but stone and mortar --

JIMMY: Nay. Castle Couer de Noir is Devil's work... built with sorrow and grief...

JACK: Let that be our problem, just get us there.

JIMMY: You follow.

JACK: Can you show us the way?

JIMMY: To Castle Couer de Noir?

JACK: There'll be spoils aplenty if you guide us there. Once we breach the walls, help yourself to all you can carry.

JIMMY: That very nice.

JACK: Simple as that, eh?

JIMMY: Castle Couer de Noir built with magic... simple as death... strong as hate...

JACK: You do know where it is?

JIMMY: Lost?

JACK: Much good we do the world, for all our noble quest...

JIMMY: Jimmy Squarefoot no lost.

JACK: Forgive my blood haste, Jimmy Squarefoot, but I want no more surprises from Couer de Noir.

JIMMY: The Black Baron, you say?

JACK: Is he a friend, then?

JIMMY: Yes, yes... Jimmy Squarefoot good friend to one and all...

JIMMY: No hurt Jimmy, sir... oh no, please, sir...

JACK: I'm sending you back to Hell!