Shallow Grave

DAVID: What?

ALEX: I bought the tickets. One for her and one for me. It was my idea.

DAVID: Your idea? Well, that fits. I mean, the two of you, that fits together. I should have seen that long ago.

DAVID: No, can't think of anything else that matters.

ALEX: About the mail --

DAVID: It's very kind of you to offer, but --

ALEX: Where do you think you'll go?

DAVID: Where will we go? Where will we go? Juliet?

DAVID: Sex lines? Is that it? Triple X-rated interactive fantasy? Old habits die hard.

ALEX: Yeah, I was phoning your mother.

DAVID: You old devil. Well, anyway, as you can see, we're leaving.

ALEX: So I gathered.

DAVID: Yeah, I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

ALEX: It's all right. I'll forward your mail.

DAVID: No, really, I am sorry, sorry to be ducking out on you like this. I hope you won't take it personally.

ALEX: Oh, no, no, no. Don't let it worry you. Not at all. It's probably for the best.

DAVID: For the best. Exactly. I wouldn't want things to end on a downer.

ALEX: Not at all.

DAVID: I mean, we've had ups and downs, right -- good times, bad times?

ALEX: Yeah?

DAVID: But more laughter than tears, I think? Yes. On balance? I mean, remember that time when -- oh, we could talk all night, but we have to go. Don't we, Juliet?

DAVID: But they know.

ALEX: They can know all they like, it won't do them the slightest bit of good --

DAVID: They know.

ALEX: They know? So what? They have nothing, there is nothing, to connect us to that bodies stuff.

DAVID: Except the money.

DAVID: It wasn't deep enough. I told you it wasn't deep enough, but you wouldn't listen.

ALEX: It doesn't neccessarily matter. They don't even know who those people are, and even if they did, they have nothing to connect them with us, nothing at all.

DAVID: I'm glad you're so certain, Alex. It makes us feel a whole lot better.

ALEX: I beg your pardon?

ALEX: Who?

DAVID: Your friends.

ALEX: I don't know what you're talking about.

DAVID: You looking for me?

ALEX: Looking for you? Yes.

DAVID: What for? What did you want? The money? Was that it?

ALEX: We just wanted to speak to you.

DAVID: I want to secure it.

ALEX: Secure it? What do you mean -- you're gong to take it to a bank? You're not going to take it to a bank? You're not going to take it to a bank Or what, you want to bury it? Is that it?

DAVID: What? Yes, that's fine.

ALEX: You're sure? There's lots more.

DAVID: No, I'm sure, that'll be enough.

ALEX: What's wrong?

DAVID: Nothing.

ALEX: You're not eating.

DAVID: Not eating what?

ALEX: Not eating like you used to, that's what.

DAVID: If you give me the plate, I'll eat.

ALEX: What's all this for, more security?

DAVID: I fitted a lock up there. On the inside.

ALEX: Oh, that'll come in useful.

DAVID: Doesn't it worry you?

ALEX: No, it doesn't. I tried to let it worry me but it won't. I've worked on that paper for three years. There is a pensioner's terror ordeal on page six every day. Every day. Maybe when I'm a pensioner it'll worry me.

ALEX: What is this?

DAVID: Security.

DAVID: From what? Jehovah's Witnesses?

DAVID: There was a break-in.

ALEX: Downstairs, I know. Pensioner's terror ordeal: page six.

DAVID: How much did you pay?

ALEX: I don't know.

DAVID: How much did you pay?

ALEX: I don't know.

DAVID: How much?

ALEX: I don't know.

ALEX: Yeah, but you were good, you were really good. Fucking bin-bag', I liked that. You were good. You explored your maleness to the full there.

DAVID: You think so?

ALEX: Good luck. I love that guy, but why does he have to follow us around?

DAVID: Anyway, what I was wanting to say was this --

ALEX: What's the problem?

DAVID: I want to talk now.

ALEX: After you drink to love and happiness forever.

DAVID: Now.

ALEX: After.

DAVID: Listen, it's important. We need to talk about what we're going to do --

ALEX: Just stop worrying.

ALEX: That was good.

DAVID: Can we talk about something?

ALEX: Not now. I have an idea.

ALEX: Don't you worry about that.

DAVID: Is this necessary?

ALEX: Yes. Now come on, all or nothing.

DAVID: Finished.

ALEX: But not quite.

DAVID: Is that going to be deep enough?

DAVID: I don't know.

ALEX: Look, if I draw the short straw, then I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it just because you won't.

ALEX: Family? Family? Friends? Drugged-up wandering suicidal search of the self fuck-ups don't have families, David.

DAVID: I just thought we should discuss it.

ALEX: Take his legs.

ALEX: Now what else? DAVID I don't know.

ALEX: A spade, we need a spade -- I wish you would concentrate -- we need a spade if we're going to dig a pit.

DAVID: So who's going to do it?

ALEX: Dig the pit, I don't know.

DAVID: No, not that.

ALEX: Then what? Who's going to do what?

DAVID: You know what I'm talking about.

ALEX: Do I? What? What? What are you talking about?

DAVID: You know what. Who's going to do it.

ALEX: We all are, David, we're all going to do it. Each of us, you, me and Juliet, will do his or her bit. Is that fair enough?

DAVID: I can't do it.

ALEX: I don't hear this.

DAVID: I won't be able to.

ALEX: You're telling me you want out? Already? You're telling me you don't want the money? Hugo is going off. He smells. The flat smells. We can't wait any longer.

DAVID: I'm just telling you I can't cut him up.

DAVID: He's still here.

ALEX: He couldn't get his car started.

DAVID: When are you going to let the police know?

ALEX: You call them if you want.

DAVID: And what about you?

DAVID: You mean immoral.

ALEX: I'm only asking you both to think about it.

DAVID: It's asick idea, Alex. It's sick.

ALEX: But don't tell me that you're not tempted by it. Don't tell me that you're not interested. I know you well enough.

DAVID: You think so?

ALEX: All right, then, go ahead, telephone. Telephone the police. Try again. No one's going to stand in your way. Go ahead. Tell them there's a suitcase of money and you don't want it.

DAVID: No.

ALEX: Think about it.

DAVID: No.

ALEX: Come on, David.

DAVID: No.

ALEX: Juliet?

DAVID: I saw my grandmother, of course, but I don't suppose that counts. I mean, she was alive at the time.

ALEX: Can I show you something?

ALEX: No, she's not in. Without waiting for any more, he replaces the reciever and walks to the door, where he picks up the mail. On his way back from the door, David emerges, ready to go to work.

ALEX: Have you seen him?

DAVID: Alex, I don't have the time --

ALEX: Yes or no, yes or no, yes or --

DAVID: No.

DAVID: Only on expenses.

ALEX: It's true. A newspaper is paying for all this. A newspaper...

DAVID: He made it clear.

ALEX: Why, thank you, David.

ALEX: What do you think?

DAVID: About what?

ALEX: About this guy, this Hugo person.

DAVID: I don't have time.

ALEX: I'm only asking what you think.

DAVID: I don't have time to discuss it now. I don't care so long as he's not a freak.

ALEX: I don't want to devalue your victory, but I just want you to know: I wasn't trying to win.

DAVID: Victory is the same as defeat. It's giving in to destructive competitive urges.

ALEX: You learn that in your psychotherapy group?

DAVID: Discussion group, Alex, discussion.

ALEX: Squash is often used as a metaphor to represent a struggle for personal domination.

DAVID: Serve.

ALEX: I was trying to educate you.

DAVID: Just serve.

ALEX: In the same fashion as chess.

DAVID: What?

ALEX: Chess. Chess is often used as well.

DAVID: Will you shut up and play.

ALEX: You're a bad loser.

DAVID: I haven't lost yet.

DAVID: Turning very briefly to the subject of corporate finance -- no, this is important. Leveraged buy-outs -- a good thing or a bad thing?

ALEX: With which of the following figures do you most closely identify: Joan of Arc, Eva Braun or Marilyn Monroe?

DAVID: Do a little freebasemaybe, from time to time?

ALEX: Or maybe just phone out for a pizza?

DAVID: All right, just a few questions.

ALEX: I'd like to ask you about your hobbies.

ALEX: What's his name?

DAVID: I don't know -- Campbell or something?

EDITOR: Out in the woods. Three bodies. Decomposed. Mutilated. Beyond recognition.

ALEX: I don't know anything about it.

EDITOR: Of course you don't know anything about it. If you knew anything about it, I wouldn't have to send you over there to cover it.

ALEX: Cover it?

EDITOR: Well?

ALEX: But there's no --

EDITOR: Animals involved? I know, but you need a change. And besides, we're short.

ALEX: I don't know.

EDITOR: Don't know what?

ALEX: Well, I've got this story, it's really good, I'm working on, that is good, I feel it could be big, it this, eh, and it's, you know, it's incredible. Am I right, did you say beyond recognition'?

ALEX: Right.

MCCALL: Tell you what. If you do remember seeing any of these guys, maybe you could give me a phone, on this number, any time you like.

ALEX: What? Uh, no, no, it's a fake. I picked it up in Thailand. The second hand doesn't sweep, you see.

MCCALL: I see.

MCCALL: That's it, then.

ALEX: That's all?

MCCALL: Sorry to waste your time.

ALEX: Oh, no problems. Don't worry.

MCCALL: Just one thing.

ALEX: Yes.

ALEX: Well, is it?

MCCALL: What?

ALEX: Parked outside?

MCCALL: No, not any more. I just wondered if it would surprise you.

ALEX: Is this being recorded?

MCCALL: This is just an informal discussion.

ALEX: Are you recording it?

MCCALL: What does it look like?

ALEX: It looks like he's writing everything down.

MCCALL: That's because he is. Does that upset you?

ALEX: No. Why should it?

MCCALL: Well, then?

ALEX: I've never seen any of these men before.

MCCALL: Take another look at these two.

ALEX: I don't know them.

MCCALL: And if I told you their car was parked outside, would that surprise you?

ALEX: Yes, I suppose so.

CAMERON: What?

ALEX: Nothing. We thought you were someone else.

ALEX: Well, Cameron, are you comfortable?

CAMERON: Yes, thanks.

ALEX: Good. Well, you've seen the flat?

CAMERON: Yes.

ALEX: And you like it?

CAMERON: Oh, yes, it's great.

ALEX: Yes. It is, isn't it? We alllike it. And the room's nice too, don't you think?

CAMERON: Yes.

ALEX: Spacious, quiet, bright, well appointed, all that sort of stuff, all that crap.

CAMERON: Well, yes.

ALEX: So tell me, Cameron, what on earth -- just tell me, because I want to know -- what on earth could make you think that we would want to share a flat like this with someone like you?

CAMERON: That's right.

ALEX: What?

JULIET: Stop him, Alex. You've got to stop him.

ALEX: Let him go. Let him take it all.

JULIET: It's about me and David.

ALEX: The perfect couple, I should say.

JULIET: You mustn't take it so badly.

ALEX: Don't worry about it. I'd do exactly the same, but I don't think I'm his type.

JULIET: Don't you ever stop?

ALEX: No.

JULIET: It makes us feel a whole lot better.

ALEX: That's what I thought he said.

ALEX: Of course, but I think you'll find the print medium provides a more lucid and detailed --

JULIET: Oh, shut up, Alex.

ALEX: I don't know. I thought maybe I was --

JULIET: We were just sorting things out.

ALEX: Are you all right?

JULIET: Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?

ALEX: You'll wait in the hall?

JULIET: I'll wait there.

ALEX: And if it sounds like I'm being killed, you'll phone the police, you'll tell them everything?

JULIET: Everything.

ALEX: Everything. Except maybe that it was his idea and not mine in the first place. OK? That's important to me. I need to die misunderstood.

JULIET: Alex.

ALEX: What?

JULIET: As smart as you are, you'll need a little help.

ALEX: No, definitely not. And that's that. I refuse to discuss it further.

JULIET: It's the only way.

ALEX: I refuse.

JULIET: You're frightened.

ALEX: No, I'm not frightened. A little terrified maybe. Did you see what happened to the last two who tried that? They went up alive and they came down dead -- the difference, I mean, alive dead dead alive, that sort of thing. It wasn't difficult to spot. He killed them both: he cut them up.

JULIET: Aren't you going to answer it?

ALEX: Well, I'm not expecting anyone either.

ALEX: Expecting anyone?

JULIET: No.

ALEX: Oh.

ALEX: Later. But first -- him.

JULIET: David?

ALEX: Exactly. Now I've been thinking --

JULIET: Oh, good.

ALEX: He won't do anything for me, but for you --

JULIET: Forget it.

ALEX: He isn't safe up there. If you really cared about him, you'd use your influence to get him down, then he'd be safe.

JULIET: And the money?

ALEX: We could put it somewhere.

JULIET: Where he can't get it?

ALEX: Now you thought of that, not me.

JULIET: Forget it -- he'll come down.

ALEX: Boy, am I glad to see you.

JULIET: What are you doing here?

ALEX: We have to talk.

JULIET: Your painful groin?

JULIET: Leave him alone.

ALEX: He can't stay up there.

JULIET: He'll come down. Leave him alone.

ALEX: Yeah, he's got to go to work, hasn't he? You think he'll come down for that?

JULIET: No, but he's looking after the money, so what's the problem?

ALEX: Looking after it -- he's probably fucking well eating it.

JULIET: I don't see the point in that.

ALEX: Because that's no good. Remember, we did what we did, we took the money. It was a material calculation. But what's the use if it's underground, or in some funny bank in some funny place? If you can't spend it, if you can't have it, what use is it? None. It's nothing, all for nothing, if you do that. I didn't get into this for nothing, so that I could have nothing --

ALEX: Once it's spent you won't have to worry about it.

JULIET: Be like a weight off your shoulders.

ALEX: You know we're right.

JULIET: Don't you?

ALEX: You know, you should spend some of that money instead of worrying about it. That's my advice.

JULIET: He's right. You'd feel much better about it.

JULIET: Is this the same stuff you made last week?

ALEX: No, no, it's different.

JULIET: I hope it tastes better than the other stuff.

ALEX: It tastes different.

JULIET: I don't want it to taste different. I don't know why I bother. Is that enough for you? Hey!

ALEX: Will you calm down.

JULIET: Yeah, you're making us all nervous.

JULIET: Hello. Hello.

ALEX: Who was it?

JULIET: Don't know. No one said anything. ALEX Rendered speechless with desire. I recall that feeling, from the days when I had such a thing.

JULIET: Are you all right?

ALEX: No.

JULIET: Then let's spend some money.

JULIET: Well, you certainly had a good look around.

ALEX: You were magnificent.

ALEX: Look over there. It's Cameron.

JULIET: Who?

ALEX: Cameron. You remember Cameron.

JULIET: No, I don't.

ALEX: What's he doing here?

JULIET: That's not him.

ALEX: Yes, it is. It's him. Cameron, Cameron, come on over.Yo!

JULIET: David, I promise we will. Keep him happy.

ALEX: It's not for me. It's for love and happiness forever.

ALEX: Love and happiness for ever.

JULIET: For ever and ever.

JULIET: Sshh.

ALEX: I want my money back. Excuse me.

JULIET: Be careful.

ALEX: Yeah, we don't want another stiff on our hands. Don't fall through the ceiling. OK? Is he listening to me?

JULIET: Stop nagging.

ALEX: I don't know why we couldn't stuff it in a mattress or put it under the floor like any normal human being. We could have hid it in the fridge.

ALEX: Whoever draws the short straw does it all. That way, you either do it or you don't. All or nothing.

JULIET: OK.

ALEX: David?

JULIET: Who's going to do it?

ALEX: I thought we all were.

JULIET: I don't thinkI can.

ALEX: But you're a doctor. You kill people every day.

JULIET: I don't want to. It's different.

ALEX: And now you tell me.

JULIET: No, Alex. It's, it's --

ALEX: What?

JULIET: Unfeasible.

ALEX: Is that all?

JULIET: Alex.

ALEX: What? What's wrong?

JULIET: What are you doing?

ALEX: I'm just looking.

JULIET: Don't.

ALEX: Don't look?

JULIET: No.

ALEX: Why not? What's wrong, Juliet? Aren't you curious? Don't you wonder what he died from?

JULIET: No.The guy's dead.What more do you need?

ALEX: It's not every day I find a story in my own flat.

JULIET: Thats not a story, Alex. It's a corpse.

ALEX: Old newspaper proverb says dead human being is living story. Be rational, please, and failing that be quiet.

ALEX: I wonder how he did it?

JULIET: Did what?

ALEX: I wonder how he killed himself. I presume that that's what happened. What do you think?

ALEX: Hugo. Hugo. Sorry about this, but can you open the door? It's us, Hugo, your flatmates and companions. Your new-found friends. He's not in. He's left and we'll probably never see him again.

JULIET: Alex, the key is in the keyhole on the other side.

ALEX: So?

JULIET: Open it.

ALEX: You want me to kick it open?

JULIET: Yes.

ALEX: Now?

JULIET: Yes.

ALEX: All right. No problem.

ALEX: David hasn't seen him either.

JULIET: So I gathered.

ALEX: Maybe he didn't like us.

JULIET: David?

ALEX: Hugo.

JULIET: His car's still there.

ALEX: He's got a car?

JULIET: So what's wrong with that?

ALEX: What sort of car?

JULIET: Alex, how shouldI know? I'm just a girl.

ALEX: I will ask you once more, what sort of car --

JULIET: A blue one, OK. And it's still there.

JULIET: Have you seen Hugo?

ALEX: No. Any idea which channel he's on?

JULIET: In a moment he's going to tell he could have been someone --

ALEX: It was you, Juliet, it was you --

JULIET: -- instead of what he is --

ALEX: What I am.

JULIET: -- which is --

ALEX: -- which is a hack.

JULIET: The man we know and love.

ALEX: A miserable, burnt-out, empty shell of a -- Alex pauses, looks at his drink, then at Juliet.

ALEX: Know and love?

JULIET: Yeah.

ALEX: I think you're lying.

JULIET: You're right.

ALEX: You see, they don't really know me.

JULIET: No, Alex, we don't really love you.

ALEX: I'm not usually drunk.

JULIET: Not usually this drunk.

ALEX: Aroused and inflamed.

JULIET: Alex.

ALEX: He even signs them, in his own name, can you believe it? I'd sign someone else's name. I'd sign his name. If I wrote them, that is. Which I don't.

JULIET: So we'll meet him, then?

ALEX: What? Oh, yeah, sure, if you want. I tell you, every letter this guy writes to you is the same: they all begin like pure love and descend into open pornography. I dream of your thighs, the soft touch of your white skin leading me in desire, while I, aroused and inflamed --'

JULIET: Who was it?

ALEX: I don't know. He sounded Swedish. Do you know any Swedish men? Maybe it was just the emotion.

ALEX: Has he tried down the back of the fridge? I mean, that's where I normally find things.

JULIET: He seemed like a nice guy, Alex.

ALEX: God, you two are sensitive. All I'm doing is implying some sort of sordid, ugly, sexual liason. Why, I'd be proud of that sort of thing.

JULIET: Maybe you should go, Alex.You'll meet someone wonderful.

ALEX: For my life? At a discussion group? I think not.

JULIET: For the flat.

ALEX: No. Be someone else like him. One is enough. And what happened to that girl, that friend of yours, the one that came round. I liked her. I really felt we had something. She could have moved in. We had chemistry.

JULIET: She hated you --

ALEX: Well, she had problems --

JULIET: -- more than anyone she has ever met. In her whole life.

ALEX: -- I'd be the first topoint that out. In all kindness I would. But, like they say, you know, she's got to want to change, hasn't she?

JULIET: I thought you stopped going.

ALEX: Yeah, he had one too many of thise urges. You of all people should know that.

ALEX: Did you know --

JULIET: Just serve.

ALEX: And when did anyone last say to you these exact words: You are the sunshine of my life'?

JULIET: OK, so A has left you, B is ambivalent, you're still seeing C but D is the one you yearn for. What are we to make of this? If I were you, I'd ditch the lot. There's a lot more letters in the alphabet of love.

ALEX: When you get up in the morning, how do you decide what shade of black to wear?

JULIET: Now, let me get this straight. This affair that you're not having, is it not with a man or not with a woman?

ALEX: When you slaughter a goat and wrench its heart out with your bare hands, do you then summon hellfire?

JULIET: I mean, what are you actually doing here? What is the hidden agenda?

JULIET: Cameron.

ALEX: Cameron?

JULIET: Yes.

ALEX: Really?

ALEX: Can you afford this place?

HUGO: Yeah.

ALEX: It's OK. There's no problem.

HUGO: You mean I can have the room?

ALEX: Well, that's what I said, isn't it?

ALEX: So, uh...

HUGO: What?

ALEX: What?

HUGO: You were going to say something.

ALEX: What was I trying to say? Oh, yes, I think, we think, or at least I suppose we think -- am I right?

ALEX: Interesting.

HUGO: I see.

ALEX: Yeah, well, that's what she said. Interesting. That's why you're here, you see.

DAVID: No, I've never seen them.

MCCALL: You're sure of that.

DAVID: Yes.

MCCALL: That wasn't a question.

MCCALL: Is this where no one stays?

DAVID: Yeah, that's right, that's it.

MCCALL: Loks like you had a break-in up here as well.

DAVID: Someone lost the key.

DAVID: I see.

MCCALL: I doubt it. And these two other people, did they hear anything?

DAVID: No, they were asleep. They didn't even wake up.

MCCALL: Yes. Why do you think you woke and they didn't?

DAVID: I don't know. Maybe I'm a light sleeper.

MCCALL: Two?

DAVID: Who said there were four?

MCCALL: We understood there were four people living here. Not always, of course, but now, four.

DAVID: No, three. Who said there were four?

MCCALL: How strange. And how unsatisfactory to have misleading information. Only three people here. You're sure?

DAVID: Yes, absolutely.

MCCALL: Take a note of that, Mitchell. Only three, rather than four. Write it down. You can use numbers or words, I have no preference. Which are you using?

DAVID: So I just heard her cries for help and all that, and when I went downstairs there were already those other people there, so I just stood around really, waiting -- you know how people do -- and then when your colleagues arrived I came back upstairs. And that's about all, I think. I didn't actually see anything useful, I don't think.

MCCALL: did you hear anything before he cries?

DAVID: No, not that I recall, I was asleep.

MCCALL: Have you seen anything or anyone suspicious around here in the last few days?

DAVID: No, nothing, sorry.

MCCALL: Well, if you do, you'll let us know?

DAVID: Of course.

MCCALL: And the other three people on the flat, did they hear anything?

DAVID: There are only two other people in the flat.

MCCALL: Good evening. I'm Detective Inspector McCall and this is DC Mitchell. I wonder if we could ask you some questions.

DAVID: What about?

MCCALL: It's about the burglary.

DAVID: Burglary?

MCCALL: Downstairs.

DAVID: Of course.

MCCALL: Can we come in?

DAVID: But I bet you didn't say you were going to split on him.

JULIET: It wasn't like that.

DAVID: Don't lie to me. Don't treat me like that.

JULIET: Eh, I don't know.

DAVID: Oh, don't be so coy, dear. You're going to Rio.

JULIET: What?

DAVID: That's right. You're going to Rio. Rio de Janeiro. On your own. Come on, you should know. You bought the fucking ticket.

JULIET: Yes.

DAVID: And you need your sleep.

JULIET: So let's go.

DAVID: You and me?

DAVID: We already know. All about it.

JULIET: It was on the television.

DAVID: I'm sorry.

JULIET: I should hope so.

DAVID: I thought you'd gone to work.

JULIET: With a face like this?

DAVID: Expecting anyone?

JULIET: What?

DAVID: Were you expecting anyone? Tonight?

JULIET: No.

DAVID: Visitors? Some friends maybe? Someone you talked to?

JULIET: No one. I promise.

DAVID: Who have you talked to?

JULIET: No one.

DAVID: If I think you're lying --

JULIET: Two hundred.

DAVID: Two hundred pounds?

JULIET: Two hundred pounds.

DAVID: You paid two hundred pounds for this?

JULIET: That's what it cost, David.

DAVID: No, no, no. That's what you paid for it. Two hundred pounds is what you paid for it. We don't know what it cost us yet, for you two to have a good time, we don't know the cost of that yet.

JULIET: Do you think you could be a little more forceful next time?

DAVID: I'm sorry.

JULIET: It's alright. I think he got the message anyway.

DAVID: That was stressful. I found that stressful.

DAVID: Do you know many of these people?

JULIET: Yes. They're my friends.

JULIET: Are you all right?

DAVID: Oh, yes, I'm fine, thanks, just fine.

JULIET: Would you like to talk about it?

DAVID: No.

DAVID: I've never seen a dead body before.

JULIET: Alex, I think it's time for you to stop.

DAVID: Is this what they always look like?

JULIET: Yes.

JULIET: Just get on with it, Alex.

DAVID: Keep it going, Alex. You're unstoppable now.

JULIET: It's just that you strike me as a man trapped in a crisis of emotional direction, afflicted by a realization that the partner of your dreams is, quite simply, just that.

DAVID: Did you ever kill a man?

JULIET: Look, it's a fairly straightforward question. You're either divorced or you're not.

DAVID: OK, I'm going to play you just a few seconds of this tape -- I'd like you to name the song, the lead singer and the three hit singles subsequently recorded by him with another band.

JULIET: Why do you want a room here?

DAVID: Do you smoke?

LUMSDEN: What do we do here, David?

DAVID: Sorry?

LUMSDEN: Here.

DAVID: Right here?

LUMSDEN: In this firm.

DAVID: Well, it's a wide range of, eh --

LUMSDEN: Accounting, David, chartered accounting --

DAVID: Exactly what I was --

LUMSDEN: -- is often sneered at. Are you aware of that?

DAVID: Not any real sneering as such, no.

LUMSDEN: There's a whole wide world out there, and it all needs to be accounted for, doesn't it?

DAVID: Eh --

LUMSDEN: But they sneer, don't they?

DAVID: I'm not sure --

LUMSDEN: Oh, it's unfashionable, I know, but, yes, we're methodical, yes, we're dilligent, yes, we're serious, and where's the crime in that, and why not shout it from the rooftops, yes, maybe sometimes we are a little bit boring, but by God, we get the job done.

DAVID: Yes, sir.

LUMSDEN: And that's why I think you fit in here.

DAVID: I'm boring?

LUMSDEN: You get the job done.

DAVID: Oh, I see, I thought you meant --

LUMSDEN: Which is why I'm trusting you with this account.

JULIET: What guy that died?

DOCTOR: That one, last week.

JULIET: Here?.

DOCTOR: Yeah, here, I mean, where else?

JULIET: Oh, him. Well, he died.

DOCTOR: That's what I thought.

JULIET: Hello.

DOCTOR: What happened to that guy?

JULIET: What guy?

DOCTOR: That guy, the one that died.

HUGO: Working nights?

JULIET: I'm a doctor.

HUGO: And he's a patient of yours?

JULIET: No. But he needs treatment.

HUGO: For what?

JULIET: A certain weakness.

HUGO: The human condition.

JULIET: You know about it?

HUGO: I write about it?

JULIET: And that's not the same thing?

HUGO: No, but like all novelists, I'm in search of the self.

HUGO: Shall I answer it?

JULIET: No, just leave it. He knows I must be at home. I'm working nights this week.

HUGO: It was some guy called Brian.

JULIET: Did he sound upset?

HUGO: A little bit. Is that good or bad?

JULIET: It's an improvement.

JULIET: Do you think you could answer that?

HUGO: The telephone? It continues to ring.

JULIET: Yes, the telephone, but if it's for me, I'm not in. HUGO You're not in.

JULIET: No.

HUGO: All right.

JULIET: What do you do?

HUGO: Well, I've been away for a bit, travelling, that sort of thing, and now I'm trying to write a novel.

JULIET: What's it about?

HUGO: A priest who dies.

JULIET: I see.

HUGO: Yeah. Well, maybe I'll change it.

JULIET: No.

HUGO: Yes, I mean, who wants to read about another dead priest? It's about some other guy, some guy who's not a priest, who doesn't die. You see, it's better already.

JULIET: Writing seems easy.

HUGO: It's a breeze.

HUGO: It's nice.

JULIET: Would you like to see the rest?

JULIET: You must be Hugo.

HUGO: You must be Juliet.

JULIET: Would you like to come in?

HUGO: I'd be delighted.

SALESMAN: October 15th, direct flight, London Heathrow to Rio de Janeiro, British Airways, you are looking at seven hundred and sixty-five pounds. Seven six five.

JULIET: That sounds fine.

SALESMAN: Air Portugal, on the other hand, via Lisbon, same day, five hundred and sixty-five. Five six five. It's up to you. Catering important?

JULIET: What?

SALESMAN: Air France. Glasgow. Direct, but then you're looking at the wrong end of nine hundred and twelve pounds. That's nine one two. It's up to you.

JULIET: Yes, the first one's fine. Heathrow direct.

SALESMAN: It's up to you. Air Patagonia. New outfit: via Caracas and Bogot . No catering. Four hundred and eleven pounds. Four one one. Good value, but refueling at Bogot is variable.

JULIET: The first one was fine.

SALESMAN: Well, it's up to you. Seven six five. How will you be paying?

JULIET: No. I haven't seen them.

MCCALL: Do you think you have a good memory for faces?

JULIET: Same as everyone else.

MCCALL: But in your work you must meet lots of different people, every day -- new people, new faces. No?

JULIET: Yes.

MCCALL: And what do you recognize, names or faces?

JULIET: Diseases.

MCCALL: Like recognizing criminals by their crimes.

JULIET: I suppose so.

MCCALL: I mean, that's what it's like.

JULIET: Sorry?

MCCALL: And you said you supposed so, but I wasn't offering it for debate.

MCCALL: Take all the time you like, doctor.

JULIET: I'm sorry, I've never seen any of them.

MCCALL: Look again if you like.

MCCALL: Your watch.

MITCHELL: Is it real?

MCCALL: Or a fake?

MITCHELL: You can tell by the intonation.

MCCALL: One other thing. Do you have any tattoos?

MITCHELL: Offering it for debate.

MCCALL: It's like recognizing criminals by their crimes.

MITCHELL: Both, sir.

MCCALL: Excellent. DC Mitchell is a rising star, Mr. Stevens. Under my tutelage he will undoubtedly make the grade.