Stepmom

BEN: I'd rather be with Mommy.

ANNABELLE: She's dying and Rache is your mother now!

ANNABELLE: So what's up? Who's marrying who this time?

BEN: Mommy's marrying Rache!

ANNABELLE: Guinevere, Godiva, I sense enemy sol...

BEN: I don't want to be Lady Godiva anymore, no matter how much I like chocolate. I want to be a stud.

ANNABELLE: Ben! What's wrong?

BEN: I killed her!

BEN: "Those who travel far and near this will make you DISAPPEAR!"

ANNABELLE: I have to work on my video project! Don't follow me! I can put myself to bed.

BEN: I hate wax lips and red ants and pretzels without salt...

ANNABELLE: I hate the crayon Burnt Sienna and people who spit when they walk.

BEN: Annabelle sucked her thumb last night.

ANNABELLE: I NEVER do that, you ALWAYS lie!

JACKIE: Are you afraid for me? Where I'm going.

ANNABELLE: Yes.

JACKIE: Don't be. I'm going. Where we all go. Now how can that be bad.

ANNABELLE: I'll miss you so much.

JACKIE: Good. That's very good.

JACKIE: Keep Ben's for awhile, okay? Until he's old enough to not open them all at once.

ANNABELLE: Until he's old enough to read.

JACKIE: Thank God. I got to see you. Grown up.

ANNABELLE: I'm not.

JACKIE: Let me be the judge of that.

ANNABELLE: I don't want to say goodbye.

JACKIE: Don't. Take me with you.

JACKIE: Darling, I've been thinking about our little Brad problem? And I think it's time we move to Plan B...

ANNABELLE: You cannot believe what he said, it was the worst instant of my total life on Earth!!

JACKIE: I know. I know how rough life can be. And how unfair. So here's what we do. Tomorrow, on the lunch yard, you walk straight up to that little jerk...

ANNABELLE: And bring my knees up, real hard, yeh?

JACKIE: No, that never solves anything. You talk like the big girl you are. About what you feel. And how he's hurt you. You know? You tell the truth.

JACKIE: Annabelle...wake up honey...

ANNABELLE: Mom? What's wrong?

JACKIE: Nothing sweetheart.

JACKIE: How many devilled eggs can you eat?

ANNABELLE: Maybe twenty.

ANNABELLE: This'll work, huh?

JACKIE: Oh, yeh.

JACKIE: He's not even there. You don't see him, you don't hear him, you're just too much of a woman to bother with little boys.

ANNABELLE: This is a joke, right?

JACKIE: And what do you do wh...

ANNABELLE: I call him a fartface or a pervert, or something equally lame.

JACKIE: You have to ignore him.

JACKIE: You wouldn't kiss him, huh?

ANNABELLE: Not with my mouth open.

JACKIE: Good girl.

JACKIE: What's Thursd...

ANNABELLE: A debate. Man's inhumanity to woman. He's pro women. I'm con. Ms. Flannery is twisted.

JACKIE: I could help with the debate.

ANNABELLE: Great.

JACKIE: Actually. I could only help him.

ANNABELLE: Every time I'm on the lunch yard, and he's with twelve of his retarded dorkface little adoring out-crowd henchmen...

JACKIE: You don't like his friends.

ANNABELLE: ...they all yell 'There goes the Virgin Queen' or the 'Ice Princess', or some really clever cut like that. Like it hurts my feelings.

ANNABELLE: She is only the Princess of Cool. Mommy is the Queen!

JACKIE: She is but an arriviste.

ANNABELLE: He wouldn't know. I saw her in the shower!

JACKIE: And...?

ANNABELLE: I said...

JACKIE: ...I'm not deaf, y'know.

JACKIE: I can't hear you.

ANNABELLE: THEN TURN OFF THE CARTOON!

JACKIE: We make mistakes. And we forgive each other. Because we love each other, very m...

ANNABELLE: Where's Rache? It's Thursday, we get to be with Rache!

JACKIE: I know how scared I get when you're sick. So I waited to tell you. Until it was getting smaller. I thought that was best, maybe I was wr...

ANNABELLE: You lied. If you lied then, maybe you're lying now. I can never belive you again!

ANNABELLE: And don't tell her I told you.

JACKIE: Secret's safe with me.

ANNABELLE: Actually. She's kind of cool, when you get to know her.

JACKIE: I bet.

ANNABELLE: ...I mean, she knows all the music, and pop stars, and clothes and stuff. She's like still a kid, herself.

JACKIE: Like a big sister.

ANNABELLE: She knows every neat junk food place.

JACKIE: I hope it's the right kind.

ANNABELLE: Are you kidding? It is so much better than the one Rachel showed me!

ANNABELLE: Wow. Who's that for?

JACKIE: Well. It's for you.

JACKIE: That happens. To families.

ANNABELLE: I'll be there for you.

JACKIE: But we do have a choice. To make it better. Instead of worse.

ANNABELLE: Like how?

JACKIE: Like seeing the good side of Rachel. So she'll see the good side of us.

JACKIE: Look she's upset --

ANNABELLE: No I'm not. I don't care. Why should I care? I mean nobody asked me when you got divorced. Nobody asked me if I wanted a new mother. Nobody even asked me if I like her. If you guys don't care about our family staying together, why sh...

JACKIE: Daddy and I tried hard. We really did.

JACKIE: Because it's quiet. And he wants to talk. Alise -- Once he saws you in half, it's bedtime...

ANNABELLE: What are you gonna talk about?

JACKIE: Probably you -- your brother -- school -- The solar system...The usual...

ANNABELLE: Then why are you putting on mascara?

JACKIE: I'm a little tired and it's just a pick-me-up.

ANNABELLE: But you only wore mascara when you and Daddy went on romantic dates...

JACKIE: Well Daddy and I are just friends now, and that's no reason not to wear mascara...

ANNABELLE: Or blush. You look pale.

JACKIE: So why are you asking me?

ANNABELLE: I like talking about it. At least, to you.

ANNABELLE: Oh God oh God Oh God oh God oh God Oh...

JACKIE: ...why do you think?

ANNABELLE: Because it feels really incredibly good.

JACKIE: How would you know sh...

ANNABELLE: I live. In the same country.

JACKIE: Scream.

ANNABELLE: During sex.

JACKIE: Well, not exactly s...

ANNABELLE: Why does Rachel scream?

JACKIE: Daddy was washing Rachel. In the shower. What did you think that was about?

ANNABELLE: Sex. Of course.

JACKIE: Lord Nelson, Napoleon's troops. I fear for the women and the property values.

ANNABELLE: I'll ride ahead. Nelson, protect the Queen...

ANNABELLE: I'm gonna call him.

JACKIE: Annabelle, daddy and I will always be there. That's one time always is always. You can call him after dinner but...

ANNABELLE: It just slipped out.

JACKIE: It happens.

ANNABELLE: What happens when he loves Rachel more than us?

JACKIE: That will never happen.

ANNABELLE: Never say never you always say that. I'll bet daddy's mad at me now.

ANNABELLE: Like who?

JACKIE: Well, he's not president anymore, so why be petty.

ANNABELLE: I didn't say that. Why would I say that?

JACKIE: Well Daddy and I were thinking that sometimes people tell a story about what they wish would happen.

ANNABELLE: I don't want that to happen. Why would I want that to happen?

JACKIE: Well you're telling your teachers and your friends --

ANNABELLE: Mass hysteria.

JACKIE: Maybe you're upset that Rachel moved in.

ANNABELLE: I'm not upset. Why would I be upset?

JACKIE: Look if the truth is you don't feel like talking about this right now that's fine. But don't look me in the eye with a big smile on your face and lie to me. Cause there are only so many lies you're allowed to tell before it starts showing on your face. You wind up looking like...

ANNABELLE: I hate overly ripe bananas -- they make me want to throw up.

JACKIE: Excellent point.

JACKIE: Never say 'never' -- it's not fair to say 'always' -- and no name calling. Use your words.

ANNABELLE: I hate when you say that.

JACKIE: Thank you. Those were all words. I hate the planet Uranus. Terrible name for a planet.

JACKIE: ...it's really not so bad Annabelle -- Red and Blue make purple.

ANNABELLE: I don't care.

JACKIE: I know you don't, but if you had, chrom- atically you are in the purple family.

RACHEL: The guy I see is in the eighth grade at Prep School, and he laughs his ass off every time we talk about you.

ANNABELLE: But Rache...

RACHEL: A suitable boy, will be at this flagpole, on Monday, with a very expensive bike, and he will be a stone FOX if I have to call an escort service!

ANNABELLE: Uh. What is it?

RACHEL: Oh. It's an incredibly disgusting, and not remotely sexy thing, that they described in a movie I'd never let you go to. But it's real. Does he have an older brother?

ANNABELLE: In high school.

RACHEL: He'll be impressed. The clincher is, you walk away, then whip around...

RACHEL: Help me here...

ANNABELLE: Uh. He thinks his nose is too big. But it's not.

RACHEL: Great. Big ears, too?

ANNABELLE: No. But they stand out, a little. Like this.

RACHEL: And youdon't tell her. What you're going to say.

ANNABELLE: Not use my words, please!

RACHEL: No, baby. You're gonna use my words.

ANNABELLE: And Mom says anger never, never solves anything. It makes every- thing worse.

RACHEL: That's because your mother is a fine person, finer than I will ever be. Now, just this once...

RACHEL: Now is that little prick still here, because if he is, I'm gonna rip his fucking heart out!

ANNABELLE: No, his mother's always on time.

ANNABELLE: I did what she said. I used my words, I told him what I felt, and they...

RACHEL: ...laughed, yeh. They laughed real hard.

RACHEL: Oh, baby, I'm so sor...

ANNABELLE: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!

RACHEL: Annabelle, I know you miss your mother. So why don't you say hello.

ANNABELLE: Why don't you say hello?

RACHEL: Annabelle pick up the phone.

ANNABELLE: Annabelle pick up the phone.

RACHEL: That doesn't bother me.

ANNABELLE: That doesn't bother me.

RACHEL: You think this is funny?

ANNABELLE: You think this is funny?

RACHEL: No. I think it's ugly.

ANNABELLE: You're just a stepmother. So stop bossing, cos nobody's listening!

RACHEL: June 3rd, God willing, I'll marry your Dad. And then I will be your stepmom. And right now, I'm not looking forward to th...

ANNABELLE: Suits me fine!

ANNABELLE: You know what that creep and his frogfaced footmen are calling me now? In front of the whole world? Frosty, the Snow Bitch!!

RACHEL: That's so weak.

ANNABELLE: Here's weak...Mom said she was gonna talk to the teacher and Brad's parents!! Can you believe the humiliation???

RACHEL: Honey, she won't d...

RACHEL: She still packing for her trip?

ANNABELLE: I killed my math quiz, A-minus.

ANNABELLE: It's not to wear around, or any- thing, I'm way too young. It's just for play.

RACHEL: See, I...

RACHEL: Your mom had to...help a friend with this...emergency? And she called me. And we switched days. Then, I got stuck on my shoot, and...

ANNABELLE: MOMMY!

RACHEL: C'mon, these are the Bomb, I prom...

ANNABELLE: Now could she just...forget me!

ANNABELLE: What if he's kidnapped?

RACHEL: He's not kidnapped he's -- he's just hiding -- he's just -- BENNNN? GODDAMMIT!

RACHEL: Lunch time Sleeping Beauty. Where's Ben? Is he in the bathroom?

ANNABELLE: I don't know...I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

RACHEL: The timing was off -- I need this light.

ANNABELLE: Just where I wanna be all Saturd...

RACHEL: Hold lunch!

ANNABELLE: But we're hungry -- and I have to pick up my costume for the pageant! It starts at seven!

RACHEL: It's only one o'clock...Why don't you get another Fudgesicle -- I'll be done soon -- really soon.

RACHEL: What I meant and perhaps I didn't say it well was you have a great mom. You don't need another one. But when you're at this house --

ANNABELLE: This is my daddy's house --

RACHEL: This is my house too!

ANNABELLE: And this is my room so get out!

ANNABELLE: I don't have to listen to you! You're not my mother.

RACHEL: Thank God for that!

RACHEL: I'm sorry, okay? Let's not fi...

ANNABELLE: Don't touch me! I'm allergic to you!

ANNABELLE: You swore. You owe me a quarter. Did you remember my egg carton? I told you I needed my egg carton for seed planting today.

RACHEL: Absolutely Duncan I'm on top of everything.

ANNABELLE: I'm gonna beep daddy at work.

RACHEL: He's badgering a witness. Eat.

ANNABELLE: No. I told you. I like apple butter not butter butter.

RACHEL: Here.

ANNABELLE: Never mind. I'll just eat my lunch.

RACHEL: I'm almost done making it. Alright Ben -- you deal with the tardy, you write yourself a note, your daddy told you he had an important case this morning and he had to leave early and we were AAAAGGGGHHHH!

ANNABELLE: You forgot to wash my purple shirt. I told you a hundred times it was Purple Day at school today.

RACHEL: I didn't forget. I was up all night thinking about it and I concluded you're too special to look like everyone else. Orange Red. That's your color. Few can carry it off. Now please. Help me find your brother.

ANNABELLE: You lost Ben?!

RACHEL: Of course not. Does he look lost to you? BENNNNN!!!

LUKE: ...your hating me.

ANNABELLE: Cos she loves you.

LUKE: Cos she loves you. She wanted you to have a daddy to love. Even if he didn't...completely...deserve it.

LUKE: You know, this horse smells really bad.

ANNABELLE: There's worse things.

LUKE: You do NOT run out on your moth...

ANNABELLE: YOU'RE WORSE THAN SHE IS! WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE, TOO?

LUKE: Put down that goddamn camera!

ANNABELLE: You owe me a quarter.

ANNABELLE: No they're not.

LUKE: Annabelle put down that camera.

ANNABELLE: I hate her. I really hate her.

LUKE: There you are!

ANNABELLE: Don't take my picture!

LUKE: Now Ladies, the secrets to a great pie is the crust. And the secret to a great flaky pie crust comes from less flour and more...what?

ANNABELLE: Ice cold water.

LUKE: That's my girl...

BEN: IS THAT YOU?

RACHEL: IT'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND, BIG GUY, OPEN UP.

RACHEL: 'In the still...still of the ni-ight...I held you... held you so ti-ight'...take it, man...

BEN: Doo-wop-doo-doo, doo-wop-doo-doo...

BEN: ...for Christmas, okay? Every magician needs a white dove, a real one, they do!

RACHEL: Well, that's a long way off, sweetie. We'll talk to Mom and Dad...

BEN: Dad! You can talk him into anything!

BEN: Are you real mad?

RACHEL: How could I be? We learned some magic...

RACHEL: "In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon..."

BEN: "And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon..."

RACHEL: That's nice Ben.

RACHEL: "Goodnight moon, goodnight hush, goodnight mush, goodnight goodnight goodnight Gracie -- Goodnight Ben!

BEN: No! You're cheating -- you have to start from the beginning and you have to read the whole thing I can't sleep otherwise.

RACHEL: "In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon..."

BEN: Aren't you going to drink your cocoa? It's the good kind.

RACHEL: Mmmm! Tasty. You're a master chef Ben. Just like your dad.

BEN: I made you some cocoa. See?

RACHEL: Thank you Ben. That was so sweet of you. Goodnight Annabelle. Sweet dreams.

BEN: Excuse me --

RACHEL: Annabelle let's get something clear.

RACHEL: ...EGGzactly. I'm putting on my coat -- We are late. We are seriously late. Which means Mister Ben we've got to get you dressed --

BEN: No!

BEN: But you told us to starve.

RACHEL: Hello?...Duncan...The Ad Agency's already there?...I'm out the door... Ben! Knock it off! It's gonna go beautifully... Damn it Ben --

BEN: You touched it.

RACHEL: Then have a donut --

BEN: No.

RACHEL: Alright starve.

BEN: No! Cocoa Puffs on Top -- Fruit Loops on the bottom.

RACHEL: Fine.

RACHEL: Oh my God. That is so not funny. You're late. You're really late. Now get out here and have some cereal.

BEN: No.

RACHEL: Fine! Eat in the cupboard.

BEN: It's not good enough.

JACKIE: No, it isn't. Because it isn't everything. And we want every- thing, don't we?

JACKIE: Right here. Right here. Inside the magician. Shhhh.

BEN: Can I talk to you? When you're there.

JACKIE: Always. Always. And you won't hear a voice. But in here. You'll know. What I'm saying.

JACKIE: The world. Thinks I'm gone. But only the magician. Knows better.

BEN: So where are you?

JACKIE: If a soldier loses his legs in a war. Is he the same guy? Sure he is.

BEN: But you can still see him.

JACKIE: Half. Of him.

JACKIE: So what do you think we're gonna talk about?

BEN: You dying.

JACKIE: Find the bird cage?

BEN: Rache says it's from you.

JACKIE: Well, don't make him disappear before I see him.

JACKIE: I've got a lot of medicine in me, sweetie. And I'm a little wobbly for driving or running ar...

BEN: Rache can do that part.

JACKIE: Okay. These are good.

BEN: I helped.

JACKIE: Ben. God doesn't like visitors.

BEN: How do you know?

JACKIE: Ask her, she's a heroic Fireperson. She does this twenty times a day.

BEN: Oh.

JACKIE: Ben! Mommy's so glad to see you -- Now stop climbing! Ben listen to me...

BEN: No! I have to get there.

JACKIE: Where Ben?

BEN: Before you.

JACKIE: Ben where do you have to get to?

BEN: Heaven. I have to tell him he's made a mistake. He should take Grammy Martha first. Or Grandpa Norman.

JACKIE: In the still...still of the ni-ight...I held you...held you so ti-ight...

BEN: That's Rache's song!

JACKIE: Sugar. I was slow dancing to that song before Rachel was even born.

BEN: So you're okay.

JACKIE: I'm still sick, but I'm better.

JACKIE: Grammy had a different kind. There are lots of kinds. Hers was very bad.

BEN: Is your bad?

JACKIE: Mommy's sick, guys.

BEN: You have the WORST flu since...

JACKIE: I have cancer. Do you know what that is?

BEN: No.

JACKIE: Pray. We never find out.

JACKIE: ARE YOU CRAZY, YOU COULD SUFFOCATE IN THERE!!!

BEN: Nope. I got my warm t-shirt.

BEN: Mommy, if your real name's Jackie and I call you mommy; and Rachel's real name's Rachel...Then when I see her do I say hi Stepmommy? And if my name's Ben, how come you don't call me son?

JACKIE: Thursday's fine...

JACKIE: I'm fine, ba...

BEN: Tomorrow? Can I have one butterscotch pudding for dessert?

JACKIE: That I do. Always will.

BEN: Mom...?

JACKIE: I'm somewhere, thinking of you. And meatballs. And you know what?

BEN: Yes.

JACKIE: Of course, you do. Being magic. Then you know I've got a flu bug, and I turn green and barf profusely when I even think about food. So, all the more meatballs for you. But you know what.

BEN: I did. Do I have to eat lamb? Daddy didn't cook it, she did.

JACKIE: Do me a favor? Eat it, and then give me a secret report, okay? Pay particular attention to whether it's chewy and if it tastes more like chocolate or soup.

JACKIE: Not a lot, sweetie. It's a country. Like Canada. Only smaller.

BEN: Where are you, anyway?

JACKIE: You'll be up to your armpits in meatballs, I'm flying them in from Sweden.

BEN: Is that like Luigi's?

BEN: Rache says I have to eat lamb. I told her you're making me spaghetti!

JACKIE: Honey, this is Thursday. I pick you up tomorrow, and we do big spaghetti.

BEN: And many meatballs.

BEN: Mommy? It's not Rachel's fault I ran away.

JACKIE: No, that's your fault. It's her fault for not watching over my precious son, as if it were her priority. Which means, the most important job.

BEN: Rachel's job is she works.

JACKIE: Ben, mommies work too. They work very hard. Mommy works harder as a mom than she did when she was working. I just don't get paid.

BEN: Does Rachel make a lot of money?

JACKIE: People like Rachel who only think about themselves often do make a lot of money.

BEN: I think she's pretty, Mommy.

JACKIE: Yes...if you like big hair...

BEN: Mommy?

JACKIE: What honey?

BEN: If you want me to hate her I will.

JACKIE: Ben! Oh my Ben! Are you alright?

BEN: I knew where I was all the time.

BEN: Poof! You're happy now.

JACKIE: Thank you Ben. Annabelle!

BEN: Queen of diamonds.

JACKIE: Seven of clubs. Nobody's mad we just want to talk about it.

JACKIE: I hate snails and blue cheese. Especially together. Hate.

BEN: I have lava.

JACKIE: Lava's hateable. I never thought of that.

BEN: Why does Rachel wear Daddy's underpants? Doesn't she have underpants of her own?

JACKIE: I noticed a whopping pile of laundry sitting on the washer -- perhaps Rachel's underpants are in there -- Now where are your lunches?

COOPER: May I remind you that Duncan has the client arriving at exac...

RACHEL: Sure. I was just doin' my nails.

RACHEL: Cooper, back the fill off I don't have enough shadow...

COOPER: You've got a fruit loop in your hair.

RACHEL: You say that like I don't know that.

COOPER: I once threw an entire bowl of jello on my stepmother's head --

RACHEL: And when did that pass?

COOPER: Actually, never. They'll always hate you. There's a gene for it.

JACKIE: Why would his worry? Or my children's worry. Or anyone's worry. Help the sit...

DR. SWEIKERT: Sooner than later. You really need to.

JACKIE: I have to get dressed. My ex-husband has asked me to dinner. God knows why, he was very mysteri...

DR. SWEIKERT: Have you still never told him?

JACKIE: That's necessary, huh?

DR. SWEIKERT: Let's take our best shot.

JACKIE: So we'll...radiate some more?

DR. SWEIKERT: At first. Then, after awhile, some chemo.

JACKIE: People beat it, don't they? All the time.

DR. SWEIKERT: Every day. More and more.

DUNCAN: You can't do that, I won't let you!

RACHEL: No, no, no, this is a job that's hard to keep, not a job that's hard to lose, can't be both.

DUNCAN: Rachel, don't do this, you will never forgive yourself!

DUNCAN: You're making a career decision here, I would strongly sugg...

RACHEL: Duncan. I've got an even better idea...

RACHEL: Which part of no don't you understand?

DUNCAN: Look, I will send a P.A. to pick up the children. There are agencies that supply sitters, nannies...

RACHEL: They're losing one mother. They can't lose two.

RACHEL: I've got it. It's in the can, Cooper can wrap th...

DUNCAN: We don't KNOW if you've got it, we haven't SEEN it yet! Now go back and FINISH!

RACHEL: It's 1:45, I told you there's no one to pick up Annab...

DUNCAN: But you're not done!

DUNCAN: Congratulations. Only forty minutes late. You're handling this promotion really well Rachel.

RACHEL: Duncan. My work is everything to me. This'll never happen again. Now stand back -- this session's gonna make you remember why you hired me even though I wouldn't sleep with you -- Cooper let's get these penguins dancing --

JACKIE: I had a lot of treatments, and they weren't any fun, but the tests show the cancer got smaller.

LUKE: A lot smaller.

LUKE: What happens next?

JACKIE: I live or I die.

JACKIE: I know. I wouldn't know what to say. If it were you.

LUKE: We're going to win this.

JACKIE: Walk in the park. And thanks for the 'we'.

LUKE: You want us to take him tonight? Give you some private time with Annab....

JACKIE: Never stand between that kid and a meatball.

LUKE: Yet another spaghetti night.

JACKIE: Yeh, better I should forcefeed him burnt lamb and...couscous, was it she made him? Boy, kids go wild for that.

JACKIE: It's temporary.

LUKE: It's good. You're not pulling a mid-life crisis on us, are you?

LUKE: She's a charmer, you'll see. In fifty years, the kids'll love her ten percent as much as they love you.

JACKIE: Stop. You're making me insecure.

JACKIE: The great thing about life is that things keep changing.

LUKE: Remember when Mommy and Daddy got divorced?

JACKIE: And we all went through that together?

LUKE: You're still going to have to be dealing with me -- with us. We should tell them together.

JACKIE: No. You think this is going to help the kids then you do it. You're on your own.

LUKE: It's going to be hard for the kids when I tell them...I'd like you to be there.

JACKIE: To make it easier for them or you?

LUKE: It's a huge moment in their life --

JACKIE: You can't be an 'us' just when you want to. You can't play that card when it's convenient.

LUKE: We...

JACKIE: WE are over.

LUKE: WE'RE still their parents for the next hundred years.

LUKE: I grew up, a little. I'm ready for a life that's built around commitm...

JACKIE: Just not to me.

LUKE: I didn't think a phone call was appropriate...

JACKIE: Tell me exactly how you're different from three years ago? The music sounds kind of the same from where I'm sitting.

LUKE: Still, please.

JACKIE: Annabelle showed me the new dress. She's amazing in it.

LUKE: Getting so beautiful...she looks more like you every day. Jackie...I've really given this a lot of thought. A great deal of thought...

LUKE: I'm afraid she's going to walk.

JACKIE: And I'm supposed to care.

LUKE: You know the kids aren't really in danger. This is about Rachel, and you're right, I'm disappointed in her learning curve, and...

JACKIE: Slugs. Have faster learning curves. Trees, even.

JACKIE: You're saying, don't make the kids a football, don't put them through a war. But I'm doing this for their well-being.

LUKE: Partly. But partly, you're mad.

JACKIE: Called him. We set an ap...

LUKE: Don't do this.

LUKE: Our children.

JACKIE: Do you realize what could have hap- pened to your son today? How lucky we are the police found him before some lunatic did? He could have been...

LUKE: But he hasn't. He wandered off. I know it's terrifying. I can imagine how you felt when that call came -- But it happens.

JACKIE: Not to me.

LUKE: Jackie, you've made mistakes -- We all make mistakes --

JACKIE: I'm not gonna wait around to see the next one. I'm not gonna watch my kids fall through the cracks of this arrangement. I'm seeing a lawyer.

LUKE: Jackie stop. We promised we never go there.

JACKIE: We've broken a lot of promises, haven't we Luke?

JACKIE: Just outside the big top, we're almo...

LUKE: You're WHERE?

JACKIE: At the Big Apple Circus, it's the only big top I know. I said I'd get 'em back tonight...

LUKE: Jackie, we were taking them water- skiing for the whole weekend!

JACKIE: ...until the plan changed, when Jessie's mom gave us these tickets. What, Rachel. 'forgot' I told her?

LUKE: You ask me that counselor's making a mountain out of a molehill...

JACKIE: I'm worried.

LUKE: Me too.

JACKIE: Luke, I need to switch next Friday for Thursday, so why don't you take the weekend... ...that way you'll be there, and I'll pick up Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

LUKE: Fine. But I wanted to take the kids to work with me on Wednesday so I'll take Wednesday, and you can pick up that Thursday, Friday after soccer, and Saturday before riding.

JACKIE: Easy enough.

LUKE: Good...Well...Take care.

LUKE: Thank you Mrs. Franklin. Jackie? This has been very valuable for us. And I'll have a serious talk with Annabelle tonight.

JACKIE: It's Wednesday night. She's at my house. I'll talk to her.

LUKE: I'll call from work. We can have a conference call.

JACKIE: You tried that last week and we were on hold forty-five minutes...

LUKE: Napalm.

JACKIE: Except for last Thursday when Rachel forgot to pick them up --

LUKE: Jackie, she was five minutes late --

LUKE: I've been with someone for quite some time, and didn't feel it was appropriate for her to move in too quickly. But after a lot of thought and careful discussion with her -- and the kids I might add -- she moved in last month.

JACKIE: Since our divorce Luke has seen a number of different women in three short years and without a lot of warning for the kids, he's now living with a woman half his age --

LUKE: Rachel's not half my age.

JACKIE: We're not discussing your age.

LUKE: Well, we're not discussing Rachel's age either.

JACKIE: They want to be with you Luke, they go to your house to be with their father.

LUKE: Jackie, they come to be part of my life. Rachel is part of that life.

JACKIE: Are you here?

LUKE: I'm here.

JACKIE: Because you don't really seem here.

LUKE: I'm here. I've got a case where they're this close to sequestering the jury but have I answered the goddamn thing?!

JACKIE: Something's up wi...

LUKE: You think I didn't get that?

LUKE: Planning on getting --

JACKIE: Remarried. There is no move.

RACHEL: You know, there's nothing you have to say. Because they know your heart. You don't have t...

JACKIE: Just sit me up. Nice and tall. Bring Benjamin first.

RACHEL: Now Edna says you short-changed your last meds. You can do presents and be comfortable at the same time, y'know.

JACKIE: Just want to be a little sharper. For a few minutes.

RACHEL: With good reason. They fucking worship you as it is.

JACKIE: What do I have that you don't?

RACHEL: Everything. You're...the Earth Mother incarnate...

JACKIE: You're the hip and fresh.

RACHEL: You ride with Annabelle...

JACKIE: You'll learn.

RACHEL: You know every story, every wound, every memory, their whole life's happiness has been wrapped up in you, every moment...

JACKIE: I have their past.

JACKIE: Why didn't I?

RACHEL: Uh. You hate my guts?

RACHEL: Ben never mentioned it.

JACKIE: He only remembers I found him. My point is, telling you this story would have been the kindest, most helpful thing I could ever have done for you.

RACHEL: You're lying.

JACKIE: I lost him. I was panicked.

RACHEL: You are lying, you never lost that kid for 4 seconds, you could find him from a coma, there is no WAY!

JACKIE: I was running around like a chicken with my head chopped off. Doing my imitation of you.

RACHEL: Well, it's the Jack Kennedy Syndrome, huh? You die young, you always look golden. Perfect. The memory kind of burnishes the image, and...

JACKIE: Come on, a wuss like me? The stiff who wouldn't help her own daughter fight back?

RACHEL: Maybe I was wrong on that one.

RACHEL: I never wanted to be a mom. Then, sharing it with you was one thing. Carrying it alone, the rest of my life...

JACKIE: Is scary. But you want it. Gimme some truth here.

RACHEL: I love Luke, I love the children. But there is more to life than even love...

JACKIE: No, there isn't.

RACHEL: And I have looked down the road. At what my life will be. And I can't handle it.

JACKIE: What's this about? Because we fought?

RACHEL: Don't flatter yourself. I always liked that line.

JACKIE: She likes a Stolie, no ice.

RACHEL: Double.

JACKIE: Thanks for coming out.

RACHEL: Neutral ground. What's up?

JACKIE: You've turned her into you. And I may not get another chance. To turn her back.

RACHEL: That's what it is. And that's all it is.

JACKIE: And there will come another moment. When the stakes are really there. And she will look back on this. And remember how good it felt. How easy it was.

RACHEL: And she'll fight back again. God help me, what have I done.

JACKIE: Doing the right thing. Knowing who you are, inside. Not caving to peer pressure, or lowering yourself to that level, steering your own course...

RACHEL: She wasn't steering her own course, she was steering yours.

JACKIE: Well, that's what parenting is about, little girl. They are pleading to know how they are supposed to do it. And you sure as hell showed her.

JACKIE: See, in that crisis, I saw an opportunity. For some real growth.

RACHEL: Oh please.

JACKIE: Shut the fuck up. I didn't go behind your back.

JACKIE: You taught my child that I am some limp dick loser. Who didn't care about her pain.

RACHEL: That's not wh...

JACKIE: You think I didn't have some dirty words for that little putz? You think I couldn't figure out some low blows?

RACHEL: You weren't passing 'em out.

JACKIE: Well, maybe your version of growing up is 'Just win, baby'.

RACHEL: She was beaten, and bloodied, and it was going to go on, uni...

JACKIE: So you became the hero. And I became the schmuck.

JACKIE: You put filth in my child's mouth.

RACHEL: Aw.

JACKIE: You had her lie about that... that fancy-boy model!

RACHEL: Worked. Like a charm.

JACKIE: Actually. They'll want Annabelle's mother.

RACHEL: Is that what you're worried about? Looking bad at the PTA?

JACKIE: You are defending what you did?

RACHEL: Right down to the ground. Let's get to it.

JACKIE: Now, 'limp dick', I know. What. Is 'snowballing'?

RACHEL: It doesn't matter, I didn't tell h...

JACKIE: Because there'll be, oh, 20 or 30 mothers phoning me in the next hour or so. And they'll b...

RACHEL: Give 'em my number.

JACKIE: Now we're going to have a fight, you and I.

RACHEL: Are we.

JACKIE: And I'm going to win.

RACHEL: Don't be too sure.

RACHEL: Looks nice enough to m...

JACKIE: He looks familiar. Did he do a Calvin Klein ad?

RACHEL: You really didn't have to come, you know. I'd have brought them straight t...

JACKIE: Who in the world is he?

RACHEL: That thing you said before. Pushing the guy sleeping next to you away. Because of what you gave up for motherhood...

JACKIE: Is that what he told you?

RACHEL: He won't discuss it. Just calls it history.

JACKIE: Somehow, his blanket always looked like a cape, even the nurse said that. He loves to hear that story, over and over. How he was born a magician.

RACHEL: And her...?

JACKIE: Took 28 hours. She just wasn't sure about entering this world.

RACHEL: My advice to you? Don't die.

JACKIE: Feeling the pressure?

JACKIE: I know you, huh? The car pools, he measles, the PTA. It's not gonna be enough for you in the long run. You have to think long term.

RACHEL: I just want to spend time with them when I'm not rushing or on the phone or tired or...

JACKIE: That's motherhood. That's the job, with or without a career. I'm telling you the biggest gift you can give them is your happiness. They need you to be happy.

RACHEL: Hey, you haven't quit on you, I'm sure as hell not gonna. I just mean, I'm juggling a lot right n...

JACKIE: Juggle it! Move the darkroom into your house. You've got that room downstairs with the treadmill Luke never uses anyway. Don't lose your confidence. Don't lose your edge.

RACHEL: It's the same choice you made.

JACKIE: Yes. I made the choice that was right for me. And I don't regret it. But even for me, there were days when I felt so lost, so invis- ible. And then I'd hate myself for the kids not being enough.

RACHEL: It's just not the right time t...

JACKIE: Do what you've worked your whole life to do?

RACHEL: It was just a job, there'll be plenty of others.

JACKIE: You mean, after I'm dead?

JACKIE: I'm thinking. Do I know you well enough to really chew you out?

RACHEL: No.

RACHEL: Hon, maybe your mom would like t...

JACKIE: ...go to the park. In the worst way.

RACHEL: Yah? Well, even the best mom in the world, the smartest, the wisest, whatever. Needs to know when to find a Plan B. Cos Plan A is not and will n...

JACKIE: It's covered, okay? I appreciate your concern. Can I talk to her?

RACHEL: Can I say one thing? I mean, the last thing I want to do is inter- fere on the Brad thing, b...

JACKIE: Thanks, but it's under control.

JACKIE: Eat your heart out. Is Annabelle there?

RACHEL: Yeh, she's...I'll get you Ben first, it's past his bedti...

JACKIE: How's she doing with Brad?

JACKIE: He's relentless. A major asshole.

RACHEL: And you said...

JACKIE: What else? Keep on keepin' on.

JACKIE: The primo stuff is great for pain.

RACHEL: I think my 'primo shit' got left in my 'bellbottoms.'

JACKIE: You try to center on the big issues, y'know. What it's all about. What this whole trip has meant. But then, the really big issues keep swamping y...

RACHEL: Brad Kovitsky.

JACKIE: I really look like shit.

RACHEL: You look sick. But you look... together. Mentally tough.

JACKIE: Yeh, that's bull. I'm going for serene, they say some actually get there.

RACHEL: So. Hopeful.

JACKIE: It's promising, this one. We're upbeat.

RACHEL: Can I look at the pictures?

JACKIE: It's a mess, right now. That's my project when I get back.

JACKIE: And you said...?

RACHEL: Beats me. Ask your mom.

JACKIE: Oh, my God.

RACHEL: Right. Which is the whole point of this 'going out' thing, so one of them can dump the other one, and they can imitate the whole passionate adult soap opera tragedy, without ever having to actually date.

JACKIE: She's devastated.

RACHEL: Doesn't begin to describe it. I mean, you've got cancer, this is serious.

RACHEL: As you may know, 'going out' in the six grade doesn't mean shit. They don't actually go to a movie or anywhere, they don't even eat lunch together, it's just a declaration to the world that they're...

JACKIE: ...going out, yeh. I had kids of my own, once.

RACHEL: Anyway. He walks up to her on lunch yard today. And tells her... publicly...that they're 'breaking up.'

JACKIE: Moi?

RACHEL: Toi. They've been 'going out' for two weeks.

JACKIE: She hasn't mentioned this.

RACHEL: She was afraid you'd make a big deal out of it.

RACHEL: So I have to tell you something in confidence...

JACKIE: You're a cross-dresser.

RACHEL: That. And. Annabelle is over her head. With Brad 'The Dreamboat' Kovitsky.

JACKIE: Small world.

RACHEL: Luke's depo ran late. I promised I'd take notes.

RACHEL: Okay, I'm undeserving.

JACKIE: Ironic, huh?

JACKIE: They came out of my body!

RACHEL: See, I know that.

JACKIE: I have given them morelove and more care every fifteen minutes of their lives, than you could manage in the next fifty years!

RACHEL: And cigarettes. I smoke, too.

JACKIE: You are marrying the greatest guy who walks this earth. Who I have loved from my heart for twelveyears!

RACHEL: You bet you are.

JACKIE: How the hell would you know?

RACHEL: I don't, but...

JACKIE: How would you know anything?

JACKIE: Life's a trade-off. You get cancer, your hair falls out, but you do get to smoke dope.

RACHEL: You're not dying.

RACHEL: I got used to...thinking of them. As...my kids too.

JACKIE: Really. By what right? Six months of part-time screw-ups?

JACKIE: Then let him talks to me. We don't need you to solve our prob...

RACHEL: ...it's my problem, too.

JACKIE: Did I hear the word...

RACHEL: Luke. Can't live like that.

JACKIE: Bi-coastal parenting. Happens every day. Luke gets the kids every other summer, every other holiday, it's not ideal, but people make it work, and...

RACHEL: We can't live like that.

RACHEL: Look, you've never liked me...

JACKIE: Don't flatter yourself.

RACHEL: And I know checking into your life was inexcusable...

JACKIE: Nobody likes a snoop.

RACHEL: But I came here to...

JACKIE: My boss.

RACHEL: You're not working at Random House, I talked to them.

JACKIE: You WHAT?

RACHEL: You're taking the kids. And moving to San Francisco.

JACKIE: I don't know wh...

RACHEL: I was looking for Annabelle's book, and I found your tickets. And the note. From your new boss.

RACHEL: Uh. Have you told Luke and the ki...

JACKIE: Let's...hold up for a bit. It may not happen. Our secret, okay?

JACKIE: ...make some trips into the city. Sometimes, overnight.

RACHEL: Hey, any help you need, we'll cover.

JACKIE: ...thinking of going back to Random House. On a part-time basis.

RACHEL: Wowie. How wonderful!

RACHEL: You feeling all right?

JACKIE: Not great. Plus, I've got things on my mind. You know.

RACHEL: What about obsessively picking her split ends?

JACKIE: Anxiety.

RACHEL: Last week when she chopped her Barbie's bangs all to hell --

JACKIE: She was angry at herself.

RACHEL: Jackie?

JACKIE: Yes?

RACHEL: When I twisted hair like this it means I'm intimidated by you...

RACHEL: I'm sorry, I just...

JACKIE: Hey. At least it's not an editing machine.

RACHEL: No way. I told her two, three years, maybe, for such an expens...

RACHEL: Sorry I'm late, I got lost dropping Ben off at Kevin's.

JACKIE: It's okay, it's twenty minutes. The horse'll be there.

JACKIE: Bandaids for cuts. Bandaids for new shoe blisters. Packet of Wash n Dri's. Kleenex. Sugar free lollipops, potty seat covers for public restrooms...

RACHEL: Why not just bring the whole toilet?

JACKIE: Ben likes to be read to. Do you know Dr. Seuss...?

RACHEL: Not personally.

JACKIE: Do you have a word limit you need to hit every day or can I finish?

JACKIE: However many. It's not enough.

RACHEL: I'm already on thin ice. Yesterday, I actually thought my boss was going to fire me.

JACKIE: Fine, forget it.

JACKIE: I have an appointment this after- noon. I need someone to take them to the park.

RACHEL: What? And have Federal agents jump out of the bushes with court orders? How many years do you get in this state for giving second-rate care to minors?

JACKIE: So why did y...

RACHEL: I did it for her.

RACHEL: She already hates me. You've seen to that.

JACKIE: You're not terribly good at taking care of h...

RACHEL: I need practice.

JACKIE: Those are my children you're practicing on. They deserve first- rate care. Every minute. Of every night. And every day.

RACHEL: I have a snoop.

JACKIE: I didn't need you to take the blame for me, I'm quite...

RACHEL: I didn't do it for you. Believe me.

RACHEL: ...in.

JACKIE: I'm sorry. Look, I'm not real comfortable being here, but...

RACHEL: I don't recall inviting you.

JACKIE: I am not here to make it easier for you. These are my children. They don't want to be with you.

RACHEL: Well, maybe they would if they thought it was okay, with y...

JACKIE: A court order is gonna say that woman is never alone with my children! Ever again! Do you HEAR that?

RACHEL: Jackie, if I thought for one moment...

JACKIE: You listen carefully because I am only going to say this once. That woman has nothing more to do with my children.

JACKIE: Annabelle doesn't really want to talk to you right now.

RACHEL: I'm sorry I didn't mean to break your concentration. I thought it would be a nice moment to rememb...

RACHEL: Yeh?

JACKIE: Think twice. Before you ever pull that again.

JACKIE: Machines do not EAT message.

RACHEL: Look, I...

JACKIE: Of all the cheap excuses. To break a child's heart.

JACKIE: Did you or Luke talk to her about it afterwards?

RACHEL: No. I thought it might be uncomfortable for her --

JACKIE: You mean for you. A 10-year-old girl is coping with the fact that her father is never coming back to live with his family. She sees her father naked with another woman for the first time. And you think it's best for her if every- one pretends it didn't happen? This isn't going to work out.

RACHEL: You're damn right. I'm gonna sick of your imperious bullshit. I never said I was Betty Fucking Crocker. If every time life hits her in the face you want to have a 12 hour talk every third Friday or the month -- go ahead! I have a life!

JACKIE: Oh and I don't because I have a children?! The problem is you're too self-involved to ever be a mother.

RACHEL: Maybe the problem is your kids. Maybe they're spoiled, coddled brats!

JACKIE: Get out!

RACHEL: But it's not on the schedule!

JACKIE: You got to hell!

RACHEL: Luke was in the shower this morning and Annabelle sort of walked in without knocking.

JACKIE: I'm sure that didn't upset her. Everyone in our family takes showers.

RACHEL: I was in there in him.

RACHEL: She's been talking about this little editing machine, it's only...

JACKIE: ...a ridiculously expensive and inappropriate item, which her father and I have already told her she is far too young to own. But you apparently want to buy her forgiveness, with...

RACHEL: Forgiveness? For what, exactly?

JACKIE: What happened with Annabelle? Has nothing I said gotten through to you?

RACHEL: Maybe you could back off just a little bit --

JACKIE: What did you do?

RACHEL: Nothing. Look, I want to talk to you about...well...Luke said to ask you...

JACKIE: How do you hold down a job? It's 8:10. You were supposed to be here at 7:00. She's missed her sunrise Groom'n Ride.

RACHEL: This is Friday, her riding lesson is on Tuesdays. I got it right here...

JACKIE: Every Tuesday except the 3rd Tuesday of the month when it's switched to Friday except in April when she rides on Thursday. It's not that hard. Didn't you have a mother?

RACHEL: Can I please have a cup of coffee?

JACKIE: We don't have any coffee.

RACHEL: What is this? The Betty Ford Center?

JACKIE: Annabelle, how's your video rep...

LUKE: Where you goin'?

RACHEL: I'm gonna get me a drink.

LUKE: We make our lives, one step at a time. We do the best we can. The truth about the future? A promise. Is only a hope.

RACHEL: How about the promises we make to our kids? About their future. Do we shrug those off, just that easily?

RACHEL: 'But keep dancing, and if you're lucky, I might just never leave, who knows?'

LUKE: That's not us.

RACHEL: Because you've changed so much.

LUKE: That's a pretty ugly thing you just said.

RACHEL: No, here's ugly. 'I love you, babe. It's just our life together I'm not so sure about...'

LUKE: '...I don't know if I can make it.' That's what I said. But I didn't leave.

RACHEL: No, she threw you out. What a difficult woman.

LUKE: I told her I loved her.

RACHEL: By way of saying you were unhappy.

LUKE: Restless.

RACHEL: Excuse me. 'Things are so confusing for me, Jack. Our life feels too comfortable, too safe, too predict- able. It's a partnership, it's juggling schedules. When I think of playing that out, every day, for the rest of my life...'

LUKE: Can we go sit somewhere?

RACHEL: Let me put it this way. Hell, no.

LUKE: She called it a fight. The fight.

RACHEL: What do you call it? You told her you had doubts.

LUKE: Why in the world would she t...

RACHEL: You took a fishing trip with the boys. Liked it so much, you took another.

LUKE: I needed some time away.

RACHEL: ...while she watched the kids. Then, you booked this flat in Paris for your family's summer. But she said...

LUKE: '...the kids have camp. Their friends are here. Over there, I'll just be shopping in a language I don't even know. My life, and the kids' lives, aren't here to service your mid-life crisis.' Did it go like that?

RACHEL: Just like to make sure. That your past. And my future. Are real different.

LUKE: Well, they will be.

RACHEL: Imagine my relief. So what's for dinner?

LUKE: What a great surpri...

RACHEL: Hold your applause. We're not having fun, here.

RACHEL: No problem.

LUKE: I made that paella you liked. It's on the stove.

LUKE: She's not gonna die.

RACHEL: I know that.

LUKE: They're my kids.

RACHEL: Great, wallow in guilt, you sure you're not Jewish?

RACHEL: It's just an assignment.

LUKE: It's Anna Sui, you should be doing it.

RACHEL: Are you hungry? You could make us something?

LUKE: Well, I think you should tell him you changed your mi...

RACHEL: It's no biggie.

RACHEL: Everything's gonna work out. The kids and I...we're going to love each other.

LUKE: Rache, it may take time.

RACHEL: What's eight, ten years? Hell, you'll still be ambulatory. I think.

LUKE: It's forever you know.

RACHEL: Okay...Is that the good thing or the bad thing?

LUKE: Because I can't hurt anyone like this ever again.

RACHEL: Oh my God. Are you serious?

LUKE: I think so...What do you think?

RACHEL: I think so too...

RACHEL: Why are you taking this out on him?

LUKE: Rache, get out of th...

RACHEL: You haven't done one goddam thing to make any of this easier...

LUKE: Get ready. To get really mad.

RACHEL: Uh. Annabelle's video report has been switched again.

LUKE: Not yet.

RACHEL: Hey, I sold my body to Satan to clear Friday at two o'clo...

LUKE: We have the kids. Next weekend.

LUKE: And it's my call. I promised them water-skiing, instead o...

RACHEL: Our weekend. At that sweet little B & B.

RACHEL: Look. I know they hate me.

LUKE: They don't hate you --

RACHEL: And what you're telling them is keep hating her -- keep up the good work --

LUKE: Nobody's telling them to hate you --

RACHEL: Really? Look in your ex-wife's eyes.

LUKE: It's complicated for Jackie. It's complicated for me...You don't have kids -- you don't understand --

RACHEL: Oh right...So it's just complicated for you and Jackie -- for me it's pretty simple cause I just don't understand...

LUKE: No you don't. And I'm not gonna screw with my kids heads right now --

RACHEL: You know I don't need another person in this family making me feel like an idiot...your ex-wife's doing a bang up job and I have to face it every Tuesday and Thursday and every other goddamn weekend and I just don't know how the hell you were married to her for so goddamn long! Jesus what did you see in her? I don't get it -- I just don't get it.

RACHEL: You don't trust me to be alone with them.

LUKE: I trust you of course I do but --

RACHEL: But? But what?

LUKE: But you're not good at this. Not yet. I'm sorry.

RACHEL: I know how responsible, caring adults parent children. I'm bribe 'em. But 'em a dog or something. Maybe a Doberman.

LUKE: Anyway, I thought...while I'm gone...maybe I'll hire in some help.

RACHEL: For what?

LUKE: Just a babysitter -- I mean...you're working...

RACHEL: I can take them to work with me -- I can shift things around --

LUKE: You don't need to. I don't expect you to handle them yourself.

RACHEL: Can't handle them myself is what you mean. Can't.

LUKE: I just found out I have to go to Boston to get a deposition. I might not be back until Saturday.

RACHEL: So I'll have to order in?

LUKE: We have the kids this weekend, so...

RACHEL: Jesus.

RACHEL: The way you cook. If you could make love, I'd marry you.

LUKE: We have to talk.

RACHEL: Uh-oh. I mention marriage, all of a sudden... Ve haff to ta...

LUKE: I didn't want to spoil our supper...

RACHEL: You'd rather spoil our walk home.

LUKE: Yeh, it's cheaper.

RACHEL: Okay, if they're going to have a sauce, put something in it besides flour and chicken broth...

LUKE: It was a veal stock, I thi...

RACHEL: Well, it wasn't a reduction like you do it! Boiling down half a ton of bones...

RACHEL: Hi, I'm here to pick up Ben.

STACY: Does Jackie know this?

RACHEL: No. I'm doing it behind her back.

STACY: In seven years Jackie's never missed one of Tucker's parties. Where is she?

RACHEL: Something came up. C'mon Ben! I've got a shoot at three...

STACY: Tucker hasn't penned Ben's present yet -- it won't be too much longer.