The Birds

ANNIE: Is anyone there?

MELANIE: Look.

ANNIE: Ohhh. Oh, the poor thing. He probably lost his way in the dark.

MELANIE: Do you think I should go?

ANNIE: That's up to you.

MELANIE: It's really up to Lydia, isn't it?

ANNIE: Never mind Lydia. Do you want to go?

MELANIE: Yes.

ANNIE: Then go.

MELANIE: He wants me to go to Cathy's party tomorrow afternoon. I said I would.

ANNIE: I'll be going, too, to help out. It should be fun, Melanie.

MELANIE: It seems so pointless. I think I'll go to sleep. This has been a busy day. My luggage.

ANNIE: I guess you knew that, anyway.

MELANIE: I suspected as much.

ANNIE: You needn't worry. It's over and done with. A long time ago.

MELANIE: Annie -- there's nothing between Mitch and me.

ANNIE: Isn't there? Maybe there isn't. Maybe there's never anything between Mitch and any girl.

MELANIE: What do you mean?

ANNIE: I think I'll have some of that, too. I was seeing quite a lot of him in San Francisco, you know. And then, one weekend, he asked me up to meet Lydia.

MELANIE: When was this?

ANNIE: Four years ago. Of course, that was shortly after his father died. Things may be different now.

MELANIE: Different?

ANNIE: With Lydia. Did she seem a trifle distant?

MELANIE: A trifle.

ANNIE: Then maybe it isn't different at all. You know, her attitude nearly drove me crazy. I simply couldn't understand it.

ANNIE: When I got back to San Francisco I spent days trying to figure out just what I'd done to displease her.

MELANIE: And what had you done?

ANNIE: Nothing! I simply existed. So what was the answer? A jealous woman, right? A clinging possessive mother. Wrong. With all due respect to Oedipus, I don't think that was the case at all.

MELANIE: Then what was it?

ANNIE: Lydia liked me, you see. That was the strange part of it. In fact, now that I'm no longer a threat, we're very good friends.

MELANIE: Then why did she object to you?

ANNIE: Because she was afraid.

MELANIE: Afraid you'd take Mitch?

ANNIE: Afraid I'd give Mitch.

MELANIE: I don't understand.

ANNIE: Afraid of any woman who'd give Mitch the only thing Lydia can give him -- love.

MELANIE: Annie, that adds up to a jealous, possessive woman.

ANNIE: No, I don't think so. She's not afraid of losing her son, you see. She's only afraid of being abandoned.

MELANIE: Someone ought to tell her she'd be gaining a daughter.

ANNIE: She already has a daughter.

MELANIE: What about Mitch? Didn't he have anything to say about this?

ANNIE: I can understand his position. He went through a lot with Lydia after his father died. He didn't want to risk going through it all over again.

MELANIE: I see.

ANNIE: So it ended. Not immediately, of course. I went back to San Francisco, and I still saw Mitch every now and then... but we both knew it was finished.

MELANIE: Then what are you doing here in Bodega Bay?

ANNIE: You get straight to the point, don't you?

MELANIE: I'm sorry. Forgive me.

ANNIE: No, that's all right, I don't mind. I came up here for two reasons. To begin with, I was bored with my job in San Francisco. I was teaching at a private school there... well, you know, you probably went to one yourself.

MELANIE: I did.

ANNIE: Then you know. Little girls in brown beanies. Deadly. Here I have a life. I'll go into that classroom on Monday morning, and I'll look out at twenty- five upturned little faces, and each of them will be saying, 'Yes, please give me what you have.' And I'll give them what I have. I haven't got very much, but I'll give them every ounce of it. To me, that's very important. It makes me want to stay alive for a long long time. That's the first reason.

MELANIE: And the second?

ANNIE: I wanted to be near Mitch. It was over, and I knew it, but I wanted to be near him, anyway. You see, I still like him a hell of a lot. That's rare, I think. I don't want to lose his friendship... ever.

ANNIE: Or would you rather I changed the subject?

MELANIE: I think so.

ANNIE: How do you like our little hamlet?

MELANIE: I despise it.

ANNIE: Well, I don't suppose it offers much to the casual visitor. Unless you're thrilled by a collection of shacks on a hillside. It takes a while to get used to.

MELANIE: Where are you from originally, Annie?

ANNIE: San Francisco.

MELANIE: How'd you happen to come here?

ANNIE: Oh, someone invited me up for the weekend a long time ago.

MELANIE: Thank you.

ANNIE: It gets a little chilly here at night sometimes. Especially if you're over near the bay.

MELANIE: No, thank you. Won't you call me Melanie?

ANNIE: All right.

ANNIE: Hi. Is something wrong? Is that cut beginning to bother you?

MELANIE: No, it's not the cut that's bothering me.

ANNIE: Would you like some brandy?

MELANIE: If you have some, I'd...

ANNIE: I'll get it, sit down, Miss Daniels. Do you want a sweater or something? A quilt?

ANNIE: Miss Daniels? Is that you?

MELANIE: Yes.

ANNIE: It's utilitarian, I'll say that for it.

MELANIE: I just picked up some things for the night at the general store. You see, I hadn't planned on spending much time here.

ANNIE: Yes, I know. Did something unexpected crop up?

MELANIE: I was wondering...

ANNIE: Yes?

MELANIE: That sign. Do you think I could have the room for a single night?

ANNIE: Well, I'd really hope to rent it for...

MELANIE: I would appreciate it. I've tried everywhere in town, and they're all full.

ANNIE: Sure. You can have it. Where's your bag? In the car?

ANNIE: Oh, hi! Did you find her all right?

MELANIE: Yes, I did.

ANNIE: Mmm. Well, good luck, Miss Daniels.

MELANIE: Thank you.

ANNIE: Do I? No, I'm an open book, I'm afraid. Or maybe a closed one. Pretty. What are they?

MELANIE: Lovebirds.

ANNIE: Did you drive up from San Francisco?

MELANIE: Yes.

ANNIE: It's a nice drive. Is that where you met Mitch?

MELANIE: Yes.

ANNIE: I guess that's where everyone meets him.

ANNIE: I've been wanting a cigarette for the past twenty minutes, but I couldn't convince myself to stop. This 'tilling of the soil' can get a little compulsive, you know.

MELANIE: It's a lovely garden.

ANNIE: Thank you. It gives me something to do with my spare time. There's a lot of spare time in Bodega Bay. Did you plan on staying long?

MELANIE: No. Just a few hours.

ANNIE: You're leaving after you see Cathy?

MELANIE: Well... something like that. I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound so mysterious.

ANNIE: Actually, it's none of my business.

ANNIE: Are you a friend of Mitch's?

MELANIE: No, not really.

ANNIE: Yes?

MELANIE: The man at the post office sent me. He said you'd know the name of the little Brenner girl.

ANNIE: Cathy?

MELANIE: The one who lives in the white house across the bay?

ANNIE: That's the one. Cathy Brenner.

MELANIE: They seemed sure it was either Alice or Lois.

ANNIE: Which is why the mail in this town never gets delivered to the right place. Did you want to see Cathy about something?

MELANIE: Miss Hayworth?

ANNIE: Yes?

MELANIE: I'm Melanie Daniels. I'm sorry to bother you, but...

CATHY: They haven't harmed anyone.

LYDIA: Take them.

CATHY: Mitch, can I bring the lovebirds in here?

LYDIA: No!

CATHY: Mom, they're in a cage!

LYDIA: They're birds!

CATHY: Mother!

LYDIA: If your father were here...

LYDIA: Yes, I did.

CATHY: Just listen to them!

CATHY: Mitch knows lots of people in San Francisco. Of course, they're mostly hoods.

LYDIA: Cathy!

CATHY: Well, Mom, he's the first to admit it. He spends half his day in the detention cells at the Hall of Justice.

LYDIA: In a democracy, Cathy, everyone is entitled to a fair trial. Your brother's practice...

CATHY: Mom, please, I know all the democracy jazz. They're still hoods. He's got a client now who shot his wife in the head six times. Six times, can you imagine it? I mean, even twice would be overdoing it, don't you think?

LYDIA: He got a call from Dan Fawcett a little while ago. His chickens won't eat, either.

CATHY: It's what you said, Mom. Mr. Brinkmeyer's feed is no good.

LYDIA: No, Cathy. He sold Mr. Fawcett a different brand. You don't think they're getting sick, do you, Mitch?

CATHY: Why, it's just like air, isn't it? When I grow up, I'm gonna smoke like a chimney! I'll be eleven tomorrow, you know.

MELANIE: I know.

CATHY: Are you coming to my party?

MELANIE: I don't think so. I have to get back to San Francisco.

CATHY: Don't you like us?

MELANIE: Darling, of course I do!

CATHY: Don't you like Bodega Bay?

MELANIE: I don't know yet.

CATHY: Mitch likes it very much. He comes up every weekend, you know, even though he has his own apartment in the city. He says San Francisco is just an ant hill at the foot of a bridge.

MELANIE: I guess it does get a little hectic at times.

CATHY: If you do decide to come, don't say I told you about it. It's supposed to be a surprise party.

CATHY: Is smoking fun?

MELANIE: Oh, I suppose so.

CATHY: Could I have a puff?

MELANIE: I don't think your mother would like that.

CATHY: Just a little one.

CATHY: I still don't understand how you knew I wanted lovebirds.

MELANIE: Your brother told me.

CATHY: They're beautiful! They're just what I wanted! Is there a man and a woman? I can't tell which is which.

MELANIE: Well, I suppose...

CATHY: Miss Daniels?

MELANIE: Yes?

CATHY: Mitch? Do... do you think they'll be all right? In the trunk? Can they breath?

MITCH: I think they'll be all right, honey.

CATHY: Mitch, let's turn back.

MITCH: Shhh. Shhhhh.

MITCH: Cathy! Get a blanket and some bandages!

CATHY: Is she all right?

CATHY: Mitch? Why are they doing this? The birds.

MITCH: I don't know, honey.

CATHY: Why are they trying to kill people?

MITCH: I wish I could say. But if I could answer that, I could also tell you why people are trying to kill people.

MITCH: Yeah, but she'll be hitting all that traffic going back to San Francisco.

CATHY: Did you put the cover on that cage, Mom?

CATHY: We've got an extra room upstairs and everything.

MITCH: That road can be a bad one at night, Melanie.

CATHY: Why didn't Annie stay for dinner?

MITCH: She said something about having to get home to take a call from her mother back East.

CATHY: Oh. Where d'you want the coffee?

MITCH: Take it into the living room, would you, hon?

CATHY: What's the matter with them?

HARRY'S VOICE: What?

CLERK: The little Brenner girl.

HARRY'S VOICE: Lois!

CLERK: It's Alice, ain't it?

HARRY'S VOICE: No, it's Lois!

CLERK: It's Alice.

MELANIE: How much for the phone calls?

CLERK: It's nothing.

MELANIE: Are you sure?

CLERK: Well, I ain't positive, if that's what you mean.

MELANIE: I need her exact name, you see.

CLERK: That case, I tell you what you do. You go straight through town 'til you see a little hotel on your left there. Not the motel, that's the other end of town. This is the hotel. Now you take a right turn there, you got that?

MELANIE: Yes?

CLERK: Near the top of the hill, you'll see the school and right behind it, the church. You head for the school. Now just past the school, you'll see a little house with a red mail box. That's where Annie Hayworth lives, she's the school teacher. You ask her about the little Brenner girl.

MELANIE: Thank you.

CLERK: Yep. Could save yourself a lot of trouble. Her name's Alice for sure.

MELANIE: Can I have the boat in about twenty minutes?

MELANIE: I wonder if you could tell me...

CLERK: Yep?

MELANIE: The little girl's name.

CLERK: The little Brenner girl?

MELANIE: Yes.

CLERK: Alice, I think. Harry, what's the little Brenner girl's name?

CLERK: See where I'm pointing?

MELANIE: Yes?

CLERK: See them two big trees across there?

MELANIE: Yes?

CLERK: And the white house?

MELANIE: That's where the Brenners live.

MELANIE: The Brenners? Mr. and Mrs. Brenner?

CLERK: Nope, just Lydia and the two kids.

MELANIE: The two kids?

CLERK: Yep. Mitch and the little girl.

MELANIE: I see. How do I get down there?

CLERK: Follow the road straight through town 'til it curves off on the left. That'll take you right around the bay to their front door.

MELANIE: The front door. Isn't there a back road I can take?

CLERK: Nope. That's the road. Straight through town, stay on your left, right around the bay to the front door.

MELANIE: You see, I wanted to surprise them.

CLERK: Mmmm.

MELANIE: I didn't want to come right down the road, where they could see me.

CLERK: Mmmm.

MELANIE: It's a surprise, you see.

CLERK: Mmmmmm. 'Course, you could get yourself a boat, cut right across the bay with it. The Brenners got a little dock there you could tie up at. If that's what you wanted to do.

MELANIE: Where would I get a boat?

CLERK: Down at the dock by the Tides Restaurant. Ever handled an outboard boat?

MELANIE: Of course.

CLERK: D'you want me to order one for you?

MELANIE: Thank you.

CLERK: What name?

MELANIE: Daniels.

CLERK: Okay.

MELANIE: Do you know him?

CLERK: Yep.

MELANIE: Where does he live?

CLERK: Right here. Bodega Bay.

MELANIE: Yes, but where?

CLERK: Right across the bay there.

MELANIE: Where?

MELANIE: Good morning.

CLERK: Morning.

MELANIE: I wonder if you could help me.

CLERK: Try my best.

MELANIE: I'm looking for a man named Mitchell Brenner.

CLERK: Yep.

DEKE: What good'll that do? Smoke's as bad as birds.

MRS. BUNDY: Birds are not bad!

DEKE: Why not, Mrs. Bundy?

MRS. BUNDY: Because there are 8,650 species of birds in the world today, Mr. Carter. It's estimated that five billion, seven hundred and fifty million birds live in the United States alone. The five continents of the world...

DEKE: I didn't even know there were many crows in Bodega Bay this time of year.

MRS. BUNDY: The crow is a permanent resident throughout its range. In fact, during our Christmas Count, we recorded...

DEKE: Mrs. Bundy, you don't seem to understand. This young lady says there was an attack on the school.

MRS. BUNDY: Impossible.

DEKE: I don't see what difference it makes, Mrs. Bundy, crows or blackbirds. If they attacked the school, that's pretty serious.

MRS. BUNDY: I hardly think either species would have the intelligence to launch a massed attack. Their brain pans aren't large enough for such...

DEKE: Gulls!

MITCH: They're back!

DEKE: We don't have any fog this time of year, Mitch.

MITCH: We'll make our own fog.

DEKE: I had a man trip and fall in the parking lot once, sued me before I could bat an eyelash.

MITCH: I don't think Miss Daniels is going to sue anybody.

DEKE: Well, you're the lawyer.

DEKE: You cut yourself outside, Miss?

MITCH: Stop worrying, Deke. She was in a boat.

MITCH: Deke, have you got a first aid kit back there?

DEKE: What happened?

MITCH: Young woman cut herself.

DEKE: Shall I call the doctor?

MITCH: I don't think it's that serious. You want to sit up here?

HELEN: Here's your pie, Sebastian. You want it at the table?

SHOLES: No. Here's fine.

HELEN: Where are the Bloody Marys, Deke?

HELEN: Are you finished here, Sebastian?

SHOLES: Let me have some apple pie, Helen. Who said anything about war? All I said was that some gulls...

HELEN: One apple pie! You want more coffee?

SHOLES: No. ...came down on one of my boats. They could have been after the fish, just as you said.

MITCH: They're gone. The same pattern.

LYDIA: But they'll be back.

MITCH: We won't be here.

LYDIA: Where can we go, Mitch? There's no place to go.

MITCH: I want to try for San Francisco. There are buildings there. Steel and concrete!

LYDIA: We'd never make it. They're probably all over the road.

MITCH: We have to try it. We can't stay here. Melanie needs help. Mother, the house won't take another attack.

LYDIA: If... If... when we get to San Francisco... If they're already there?

MITCH: They won't be.

LYDIA: If they are?

MITCH: We'll worry about that when we get there.

LYDIA: I'm frightened, terribly frightened. I... I don't know what's out there, Mitch.

MITCH: What do we have to know, Mother? We're all together, we all love each other, we all need each other. What else is there? Mother, I want us to stay alive!

LYDIA: I started to say... inside...

MITCH: You don't have to.

LYDIA: I'm not very good at this, Mitch.

MITCH: You're doing fine.

LYDIA: I mean. I want to...

MITCH: I can handle it.

LYDIA: I know you can. But I'd like to.

MITCH: Mother, get a rope!

LYDIA: Oh, my God, look at her!

MITCH: Get a rope!

LYDIA: Mitch...

MITCH: Shhh. Shhh.

MITCH: Mother! I'm trying my best! I'm... trying... my...

LYDIA: I'm sorry, Mitch.

MITCH: I don't know. We'll break up the furni...

LYDIA: You don't know, you don't know! When will you know? When we're all dead? Like Annie?

LYDIA: Did you you get the windows in the attic, Mitch?

MITCH: I got them all, Mother.

LYDIA: When do you think they'll come?

MITCH: I don't know.

LYDIA: If there are... larger birds, Mitch... they'll get into the house.

MITCH: That's a chance we have to take.

LYDIA: Maybe we ought to leave.

MITCH: Not now. Not while they're massing out there.

LYDIA: When?

MITCH: I don't know when. We'll see what...

LYDIA: Where will we go?

MITCH: I don't know yet. I think we'll be safe here. Let's bring that wood in.

LYDIA: What happens when we run out of wood?

LYDIA: Tell him about the party.

MITCH: That's right. We had a party here this afternoon for Cathy. Her birthday.

LYDIA: Well... well, is everyone all right?

MITCH: I think he got a little scratch, Mother.

LYDIA: She's a charming girl, isn't she, Mitch?

MITCH: Yes, very.

LYDIA: And certainly pretty.

MITCH: Yes.

LYDIA: How long have you known her?

MITCH: I told you. We met yesterday.

LYDIA: In a bird shop.

MITCH: Yes.

LYDIA: She was selling birds.

MITCH: No. I only led her into believing I believed she was... Mother, it's really very complicated.

LYDIA: But she did buy the lovebirds and then brought them all the way...

MITCH: Mother, where did you go to law school?

LYDIA: Forgive me. I suppose I'm just naturally curious about a girl like that. She's very rich, isn't she?

MITCH: I suppose so. Her father owns a big newspaper in San Francisco.

LYDIA: You'd think he could manage to keep her name out of print. She's always mentioned in the columns, Mitch.

MITCH: I know, Mother.

LYDIA: She is the one who jumped into that fountain in Rome last summer, isn't she?

MITCH: Yes, Mother.

LYDIA: Perhaps I'm old-fashioned. I know it was supposed to be very warm there, Mitch, but... well... actually... well, the newspaper said she was naked.

MITCH: I know, Mother.

LYDIA: It's none of my business, of course, but when you bring a girl like that to...

MITCH: Mother?

LYDIA: Yes?

MITCH: I think I can handle Melanie Daniels by myself.

LYDIA: Well... So long as you know what you want, Mitch.

MITCH: I know exactly what I want, Mother.

LYDIA: He sold the feed to me, didn't he?

MITCH: Caviat emptor, Mother. Let the buyer beware.

LYDIA: Whose side are you on?

MITCH: I'm simply quoting the law.

LYDIA: Never mind the law. Cathy, you can start serving the soup.

LYDIA: There's nothing wrong with those chickens, Mitch. I'm going to call Fred Brinkmeyer right now.

MITCH: I don't know what good that'll do. Chickens won't eat.

LYDIA: Seven o'clock, same as usual.

MITCH: I'll pick you up, Miss Daniels. Where are you staying?

LYDIA: You did say birds?

MITCH: Yes, lovebirds. We couldn't let you...

LYDIA: Lovebirds, I see.

MITCH: ...get away without thanking you in some small way. After all, you haven't even met Cathy and you are staying for the weekend...

LYDIA: Oh. I see.

MITCH: For Cathy. For her birthday. By the way, where is she?

LYDIA: Across at Brinkmeyer's.

MITCH: Miss Daniels is staying for the weekend. In fact, I've already invited her to dinner tonight.

LYDIA: How do you do, Miss Daniels? Acknowledge a what?

MITCH: A delivery, Mother. Miss Daniels brought some birds from San Francisco.

LYDIA: I thought I saw your car. What are you doing in town?

MITCH: I had to acknowledge a delivery. Mother, I'd like you to meet...

LYDIA: A what?

MITCH: Melanie Daniels. Melanie, my mother.

MELANIE: Please don't mess me up with bandages, Mrs. Brenner.

LYDIA: Shhhh. Shhhh.

MELANIE: Please.

MELANIE: That's the last of it.

LYDIA: Did you close the door?

MELANIE: And locked it.

LYDIA: I miss him. You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I think 'I have to make Frank's breakfast,' and I... I get up and there's a... a very good reason for getting out of bed until... until, of course, I remember. I miss talking to him. Cathy's a child, you know, and Mitch... ...Mitch has his own life. I'm glad he stayed here today. I feel safer with him here.

MELANIE: Would you like to rest now, Mrs. Brenner.

LYDIA: No. No... don't go yet. I feel as if I... I don't understand you. And I want so much to understand.

MELANIE: Why, Mrs. Brenner?

LYDIA: Because my son is... My son seems to be fond of you. And I... I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I really don't know if I... like you or not.

MELANIE: Is that so important, Mrs. Brenner? You liking me?

LYDIA: Yes, I think so. My son is important to me. I want to like any girl he chooses.

MELANIE: And if you don't?

LYDIA: Then I don't suppose it'll matter much to anyone but me.

MELANIE: I think it might also matter to Mitch.

LYDIA: Mitch has always done exactly what he wanted to do. I'm not complaining. That's the mark of a man. But... You see, I... I wouldn't want to be... be left alone. I don't think I could bear being left alone. I... forgive me. This business with the birds has me upset. I... I don't know what I'd do if Mitch weren't here.

MELANIE: Why don't you try to sleep now, Mrs. Brenner.

LYDIA: I wish I were stronger. Do you think she's all right? Do you think she's safe at the school?

MELANIE: Would you like me to go for her?

LYDIA: I couldn't ask you to.

MELANIE: I don't mind, really.

LYDIA: Would you? I'd feel so much better.

MELANIE: I'll just clear up here, and then dress.

MELANIE: Yes, I'm sure she's fine.

LYDIA: Do I sound foolish to you?

MELANIE: No.

LYDIA: I keep seeing Dan Fawcett's face. They have such big windows at the school. All the windows were broken. In Dan's bedroom. All the windows.

MELANIE: Try not to think of that, Mrs. Brenner.

LYDIA: I wish I were a stronger person. There is a long awkward silence. She sips at her tea reflectively.

LYDIA: I lost my husband four years ago, you know. It's odd how you depend on someone for strength, and then suddenly all the strength is gone, and you're alone. I'd love to relax some time. I'd love to be able to sleep. Do you think Cathy's all right?

MELANIE: Annie's there. She'll be all right.

LYDIA: I'm not this way, you know. Not usually. I don't fuss and fret over my children. When Frank died... You see, he knew the children, he really knew them. He had the knack of being able to enter into their world, of becoming a part of them. That's a rare talent.

MELANIE: Yes.

LYDIA: I wish I could be that way.

LYDIA: Do you think Cathy's all right?

MELANIE: What?

LYDIA: Cathy. At the school.

LYDIA: Where's Mitch?

MELANIE: Al Malone wanted him out at the Fawcett farm.

LYDIA: Why? Didn't Al believe my story?

MELANIE: He was calling from the farm, Mrs. Brenner.

LYDIA: Then he saw.

MELANIE: He must have. He sent for the Santa Rosa police.

LYDIA: What good will they do?

MELANIE: No, it's me, Mrs. Brenner. I thought you might like some tea.

LYDIA: Oh, thank you.

MELANIE: If I go across to Santa Rosa I'll come onto the freeway much earlier.

LYDIA: Yeah, and the freeway's well-lighted, isn't it, Mitch?

LYDIA: Then you knew Mitch in San Francisco, is that right?

MELANIE: No, not exactly.

MALONE: There's an ordinance against burning anything in this town, unless it's...

MITCH: We'll use smoke pots. Like the Army uses.

MITCH: He was killed last night. By birds.

MALONE: Now hold it, Mitch. You don't know that for a fact.

MALONE: Well, if there's anything else I can do, Mitch...

MITCH: Thanks, Al. We'll be all right.

MALONE: Goodnight, Lydia.

MITCH: Does this room look silly?

MALONE: No, you got quite a mess here, I'll admit that. Maybe you oughta put some screening on top of your chimney Seems a little pointless, though. Freak accident like this wouldn't happen again in a million years. You want some help cleaning up?

MALONE: Oh, yeah, yeah. How old is she now?

MITCH: Eleven. In the middle of the party, some gulls came down at the children. And Miss Daniels was attacked by a gull just yesterday after...

MALONE: What's more likely, they got in the room and was just panicked, that's all.

MITCH: All right, I'll grant you a bird'll panic in an enclosed room. But, they didn't just get in. They came in! Right down that chimney.

MALONE: My wife found a bird in the back seat of her car once.

MALONE: Didn't know how he got in there. Had a broken leg, turned out. Just fluttering all around there.

MITCH: These birds were...

MALONE: What I'm trying to say, Mitch, is these things happen sometimes, you know? Ain't much we can do about it.

MALONE: Well, these birds live in chimneys, you know.

MITCH: Not by the thousands.

MALONE: No, I gotta admit this is peculiar. Did you have a light burning or something.

MITCH: Yes, but the curtains were drawn.

MALONE: 'Cause sometimes birds are attracted by light, you know. Sure is a peculiar thing.

MITCH: What are we going to do about it, Al?

MALONE: I don't think I get you, Mitch. Do about what?

MITCH: Well... Well... these birds attacked us.

MALONE: That's a chimney swift, all right.

MITCH: We know what it is, Al.

MELANIE: Well, where did he go?

MAN: Bodega Bay. He goes up there every weekend.

MELANIE: Bodega Bay? Where's that?

MAN: Up on the coast. About sixty miles north of here.

MELANIE: Sixty... Oh.

MAN: About an hour and a half on the freeway. Or two if you take the coast highway.

MELANIE: Oh.

MAN: I'd hold the birds for him, but I'm going away myself. Someone's got to feed them, I suppose.

MELANIE: Yes. Yes, someone's got to feed them.

MAN: I'm awfully sorry.

MAN: He won't be back until Monday. I mean, if those birds are for him....

MELANIE: Monday?

MAN: Yes. I don't think you should leave them in the hall, do you?

MELANIE: Well, I...

MAN: Is that for Mitch Brenner?

MELANIE: Yes.

MAN: He's not home.

MELANIE: That's all right.

MELANIE: Can we turn back?

MITCH: I... I don't think so. If we get through town, I think we'll be all right.

MELANIE: Mitch, if they hear the car starting... if they see movement...

MITCH: We'll take it slow until we get to the main road. Are you ready?

MITCH: We'd better light some of those lamps.

MELANIE: No... wait. Hold me.

MITCH: The power.

MELANIE: Mitch...

MITCH: Wait here. Don't move.

MITCH: You'd have been safe in San Francisco.

MELANIE: I don't want to be safe. I want to be with you.

MELANIE: When will they stop?

MITCH: I thought they'd have stopped by now.

MELANIE: What time is it?

MITCH: Almost two a.m.

MELANIE: You must be exhausted.

MITCH: How about you?

MELANIE: Where are they heading?

MITCH: Inland.

MELANIE: Santa Rosa?

MITCH: Maybe.

MITCH: Do you want to try your father again?

MELANIE: I tried a little while ago. The phone's dead.

MITCH: Have we still got power?

MELANIE: Yes. I'm tired, Mitch. I'm so very very tired.

MELANIE: I keep thinking of Annie.

MITCH: It... it doesn't look very different, does it? A little smoke over the town, but otherwise...

MELANIE: Even the birds sitting out there. It does look very much the same, Mitch. This could be last week.

MITCH: It may not be last week again for a long long time.

MELANIE: The town looks clear.

MITCH: The bay doesn't.

MELANIE: How long have they been gathering there?

MITCH: The past fifteen minutes. It seems to be a pattern, doesn't it? They strike and disappear, and then they start massing again.

MITCH: I think it's safe to get out now.

MELANIE: Don't let's take any chances.

MITCH: We've got to get Cathy.

MITCH: I got here as fast as I could. Where's Cathy?

MELANIE: At Annie's house. She's all right.

MITCH: That was Al on the phone. He wants me to meet him out at the Fawcett place. Says some detectives from Santa Rosa'll be there in a little while. Will you be all right here?

MELANIE: Yes. I was just taking her in some tea.

MITCH: Melanie, Melanie...

MELANIE: I'm frightened, Mitch.

MITCH: No, no...

MELANIE: I'm frightened and confused and I... I think I want to go back to San Francisco where there are buildings and... and concrete and...

MITCH: Melanie...

MELANIE: ...everything I know.

MITCH: It's so damn quiet out there.

MELANIE: It was like that yesterday.

MITCH: What do you mean?

MELANIE: After the gulls attacked.

MITCH: I hadn't thought of that. And then the swifts came.

MELANIE: It makes you feel as if they're... they're waiting or... resting... or....

MITCH: No, they're having a meeting, Melanie. Your sparrow is standing on a soap box and...

MITCH: What it was, probably...

MELANIE: Mmm?

MITCH: They're probably hungry, that's all. This was a bad summer. They eat berries and... and nuts, you know, and the hills are all burned out, so they're probably searching for food wherever they can get it.

MELANIE: With my little sparrow leading team.

MELANIE: It all started several months ago with a peasant sparrow up in the hills, a malcontent. He went around telling all the other sparrows that human beings weren't fit to rule this planet, preaching wherever anyone would listen...

MITCH: Growing a beard...

MELANIE: Yes, of course, he had to have a beard! 'Birds of the world, unite!' he kept saying, over and over...

MITCH: So they united.

MELANIE: Not at first. Oh yes, a few sparrows out for kicks...

MITCH: Well, they'll go along with anything.

MELANIE: Sure. But eventually, even the more serious-minded birds began to listen. "Why should humans rule?" they asked themselves.

MITCH: Hear!

MELANIE: Why should we submit ourselves to their domination?

MITCH: Hear, hear!

MELANIE: And all the while, that sparrow was getting in his little messages. Birds of the world, unite!

MITCH: Take wing!

MELANIE: You have nothing to lose but your feathers.

MITCH: It smelled of the fire.

MELANIE: It's hard to believe anything at all happened yesterday, isn't it? It's so beautiful and still now. I think I've got it all figured out, by the way.

MITCH: Really? Tell me about it.

MELANIE: It's an uprising.

MITCH: Of birds?

MELANIE: Certainly, of birds.

MELANIE: I'll take Cathy up to bed.

MITCH: Are you staying?

MELANIE: I think I should, don't you?

MITCH: Some cream?

MELANIE: I'll get it.

MITCH: Do you want some mustard with this?

MELANIE: No, thank you.

MITCH: You look a little shaken.

MELANIE: I... I am. Mitch, is... Mitch, this isn't usual, is it? The gull yesterday when I was in the boat, and the one last night at Annie's, and now...

MITCH: Last night? What do you mean?

MELANIE: A gull smashed into Annie's front door. Mitch... what's happening?

MITCH: I don't know, Melanie. Look, do you have to go back to Annie's?

MELANIE: No, I have my things in the car.

MITCH: Then stay and have something to eat before you start back. I'd feel a lot better.

MITCH: Are you all right?

MELANIE: Yes.

MELANIE: And on Tuesdays, I take a course in General Semantics at Berkeley. That's not a job, of course. I just take it because...

MITCH: What about Thursdays and Fridays?

MELANIE: On Thursdays I have my meeting and lunch. I'm chairman of a group that's sending a little Korean boy through school. We plan how to raise funds and... things like that.

MITCH: And Fridays? What do you do then?

MELANIE: Nothing. I go to bird shops on Fridays.

MITCH: I'm glad you do.

MELANIE: Do you know what I was doing in that shop?

MITCH: What?

MELANIE: I have an aunt, you see. Aunt Tessa. She's seventy years old, and veddy prim and strait-laced. She's coming back from Europe at the end of the month, and I'm going to give her a myna bird that'll talk to her.

MITCH: What'll it say?

MELANIE: You'll think me very bold, sir.

MITCH: No, tell me.

MELANIE: What's in this? Nitro-glycerin?

MITCH: Why do you have to rush off? What's so important in San Francisco?

MELANIE: Well... I have to get to work tomorrow morning, for one thing.

MITCH: You have a job?

MELANIE: I have several jobs.

MITCH: What do you do?

MELANIE: I do different things on different days.

MITCH: Like what?

MELANIE: On Mondays and Wednesdays, I work for the Travelers' Aid. At the airport.

MITCH: Helping travelers.

MELANIE: Yes.

MELANIE: I really shouldn't have any more. I'm a little tipsy already.

MITCH: I'm trying to get you to stay for dinner. We're going to have a lot of roast left over.

MELANIE: I couldn't possibly. I have to get back.

MITCH: Cheers.

MELANIE: Cheers.

MELANIE: That might have been good enough in Rome last summer. But it's not good enough now.

MITCH: It is for me.

MELANIE: But not for me.

MITCH: What do you want ?

MELANIE: I thought you knew! I want to go through life laughing and beautiful and jumping into fountains naked! Good night!

MITCH: I'd still like to see you.

MELANIE: Why?

MITCH: I think it could be fun.

MITCH: You'll be able to find your way back, won't you?

MELANIE: Oh, yes.

MELANIE: Will I be seeing you again?

MELANIE: San Francisco's a long way from here.

MITCH: I'm in San Francisco five days a week. With a lot of time on my hands. I'd like to see you. Maybe we could go swimming or something. Mother tells me you like to swim.

MELANIE: How does Mother know what I like to do?

MITCH: I guess she and I read the same gossip columns.

MELANIE: Oh. That. Rome.

MITCH: Mmmm. I like to swim. We might get along very...

MELANIE: In case you're interested, I was pushed into that fountain.

MELANIE: Without any clothes on?

MELANIE: With all my clothes on! The newspaper that ran the story happens to be a rival of my father's paper. Anything they said...

MITCH: You were just a poor, innocent victim of circumstance, huh?

MELANIE: I'm neither poor nor innocent, but the truth of that particular...

MITCH: The truth is you were running around with a pretty wild crowd...

MELANIE: Yes, but...

MITCH: ...who didn't much care for propriety or convention or...

MELANIE: Yes.

MITCH: ...the opinions of others, and you went right along with them, isn't that the truth?

MELANIE: Yes, that's the truth. But I was pushed into that fountain, and that's the truth, too.

MITCH: Sure. Do you really know Annie Hayworth?

MELANIE: No. At least, I didn't until I came up here.

MITCH: So you didn't go to school together.

MELANIE: No.

MITCH: And you didn't come up here to see her.

MELANIE: No.

MITCH: You were lying.

MELANIE: Yes, I was lying.

MITCH: Did you really write a letter to me? Or was that a lie, too?

MELANIE: I wrote the letter.

MITCH: What did it say?

MELANIE: It said, "Dear Mr. Brenner, I think you need those lovebirds, after all. They may help your personality." That's what it said.

MITCH: But you tore it up.

MELANIE: Yes.

MITCH: Why?

MELANIE: Because it seemed stupid and foolish.

MITCH: Like jumping into a fountain in Rome!

MELANIE: I told you what happened in Rome!

MITCH: Do you expect me to believe...?

MELANIE: I don't give a damn what you believe!

MELANIE: Why did he shoot her?

MITCH: He was watching a ball game on television.

MELANIE: What?

MITCH: His wife changed the channel.

MITCH: Hi. Annie had no plans, huh? I'm glad you came. Are you hungry?

MELANIE: Famished.

MITCH: Dinner's just about ready. We were out back looking at the chickens. Something seems to be wrong with them.

MELANIE: With... with Annie, of course.

MITCH: Of course, how stupid of me. A quarter to seven, will that be all right?

MELANIE: Annie... Annie may have made other plans. I'll have to see. Besides, I can find my own way.

MITCH: You're sure now? You won't hire a boat or anything?

MELANIE: I'm sure.

MITCH: Seven o'clock then.

MELANIE: Maybe.

MELANIE: Yes, but...

MITCH: You are, aren't you?

MELANIE: Certainly, but...

MITCH: Then it's settled. What time is dinner, Mother?

MITCH: After all, you did go to the trouble of bringing up those birds.

MELANIE: I'm sorry. I couldn't possibly...

MITCH: Can't see a thing.

MELANIE: I can't say I like your seagulls much, either. I come all the way up here to...

MITCH: But you were coming up anyway, remember?

MELANIE: I was! And all I get for my pains is a... a... a hole in the head!

MITCH: Right next to the one you already had.

MELANIE: Look, Mr. Brenner...

MITCH: So you came up to see Annie, huh?

MELANIE: Yes.

MITCH: I don't believe you. I think you came up to see me.

MELANIE: Why would I want to see you, of all people?

MITCH: I don't know. But it seems to me you must have gone to a lot of trouble to find out who I was, and where I lived and...

MELANIE: It was no trouble at all. I simply called my father's paper. Besides, I was coming up here anyway, I already told you...

MITCH: You like me, huh?

MELANIE: I loathe you. You have no manners. And you're arrogant and conceited and... I wrote you a letter about it, in fact, but I tore it up.

MITCH: What did it say?

MELANIE: None of your business. Am I still bleeding?

MELANIE: Ouch!

MITCH: I'm sorry. What are you doing up here?

MELANIE: Didn't you see the lovebirds?

MITCH: You came all the way up here to bring me those birds?

MELANIE: To bring your sister those birds. You said it was her birthday. Besides, I was coming up anyway.

MITCH: What for?

MELANIE: To see a friend of mine. Will you please be careful?

MITCH: I'm sorry. Who's your friend?

MELANIE: Why...

MITCH: Yes?

MELANIE: Annie. Annie Hayworth.

MITCH: Well, well, small world. Annie Hayworth.

MELANIE: Yes.

MITCH: How do you know Annie?

MELANIE: We... we went to school together. College.

MITCH: Did you! Imagine that! How long will you be staying?

MELANIE: Just a few... just a day or two... the weekend.

MITCH: I think we'll have to shave the hair. Deke, have you got a razor?

MELANIE: Oh, no you don't!

MITCH: It's still bleeding a little. Here, let me put this on.

MELANIE: So you're a lawyer.

MITCH: That's right. What are you doing in Bodega Bay?

MELANIE: Do you practice here?

MITCH: No, San Francisco. What are you...?

MELANIE: What kind of law?

MITCH: Criminal.

MELANIE: Is that why you'd like to see everyone behind bars?

MITCH: Not everyone, Miss Daniels.

MELANIE: Only violators and practical jokers.

MELANIE: What's that?

MITCH: Just some peroxide. I want to clean out the cut.

MITCH: That was the damndest thing I ever saw.

MELANIE: What made it...

MITCH: It deliberately came down at you -- you're bleeding...

MELANIE: I don't know you.

MITCH: Ahhh, but I know you.

MELANIE: How?

MITCH: We met in court.

MELANIE: We never met in court or anyplace else.

MITCH: That's true. I'll rephrase it. I saw you in court.

MELANIE: When?

MITCH: Do you remember one of your practical jokes that resulted in the smashing of a plate glass window?

MELANIE: I didn't break that window!

MITCH: No, but your little prank did. The judge should have put you behind bars!

MELANIE: What are you? A policeman?

MITCH: I simply believe in the law, Miss Daniels, and I'm not too keen on practical jokers.

MELANIE: What do you call your lovebird story if not a practical...

MITCH: Ahhh, but I really do want those birds.

MELANIE: You knew I didn't work here. You deliberately...

MITCH: Right. I recognized you when I came in. I thought you might like to know what it felt like to be on the other end of a gag. What do you think of that, Miss Daniels?

MELANIE: I think you're a louse.

MITCH: I am. Good day. Madam.

MELANIE: And I'm glad you didn't get your lovebirds!

MITCH: I'll find something else. See you in court some day.

MELANIE: What did you say?

MITCH: I was merely drawing a parallel, Miss Daniels.

MELANIE: But how... how do you know my name?

MITCH: A little birdie told me. Good day, Miss Daniels. Madam.

MELANIE: Hey, wait a minute!

MITCH: Yes, I see. About those lovebirds, Miss...

MELANIE: Are you sure you wouldn't like to see a canary instead? We have some very nice canaries this week.

MITCH: All right. She smiles back.

MELANIE: Yes, what was it you were looking for, sir?

MITCH: Lovebirds.

MELANIE: Lovebirds, sir?

MITCH: Yes. I understand there are different varieties, it that true?

MELANIE: Well... yes, sir, there are.

MITCH: These are for my sister... her birthday you see. As she'll be eleven and... well, frankly, I wouldn't want a pair of birds that were too demonstrative.

MELANIE: I understand completely, sir.

MITCH: As the same time, I wouldn't want birds that were aloof, either.

MELANIE: No, of course not.

MITCH: Do you have a pair that are just friendly?

MELANIE: I think so, sir. Now then, let me see.

MITCH: Aren't these lovebirds?

MELANIE: No, sir, those are... redbirds.

MITCH: The sign says strawberry finches.

MELANIE: Yes, we call them that too. Ahhh, here we are, Lovebirds...

MITCH: Those are canaries, Miss. Doesn't this make you feel awful?

MELANIE: Doesn't what make me...?

MITCH: All these innocent little creatures caged up like this?

MELANIE: Well, we can't just let them fly around the shop, you know.

MITCH: I suppose not. Is there an ornithological reason for keeping them in separate cages?

MELANIE: Oh, certainly. It's to protect the species.

MITCH: I imagine that's very important. Especially during the moulting season.

MELANIE: Yes, that's a particularly dangerous time.

MITCH: Are they moulting now?

MELANIE: Some of them are.

MITCH: How can you tell?

MELANIE: Well... they get a sort of hangdog expression.

MITCH: I wonder if you could help me.

MELANIE: What?

MITCH: I said I wonder if you could help me.

MRS. MACGRUDER: They said the myna bird would be here later this afternoon. If you'd care to come back...

MELANIE: No, you'd better send him. May I use your phone?

MRS. MACGRUDER: Yes, certainly.

MELANIE: Do you have any lovebirds?

MRS. MACGRUDER: No, not in the shop. But I can order them for you.

MELANIE: How soon?

MRS. MACGRUDER: Well... well, how soon would you want them?

MELANIE: Immediately. Is this the Daily News? Melanie Daniels. Would you get me the city desk, please?

MRS. MACGRUDER: I might be able to have them by tomorrow morning. Would that be all right?

MELANIE: That would be just fine. Hello, Charlie, this is Melanie. I want you to do a favor for me. No, this is a small one. Pressure you? Why, Charlie darling, would I try to pressure you? Will you call the Department of Motor Vehicles for me and find out who owns this license plate? DKQ dash one seven six. Yes, a California plate. No, I'll stop up there in a little while. Is daddy in his office? Oh. No, no, I don't want to break in on a meeting. Just tell him I'll see him later. Thank you, Charlie.

MELANIE: Have you got a pencil?

MRS. MACGRUDER: What? Oh, yes, certainly.

MELANIE: That... that... who was that?

MRS. MACGRUDER: I have no idea.

MELANIE: There we are!

MRS. MACGRUDER: Oh, good! Oh, wonderful.

MRS. MACGRUDER: I'm sure they're on the way, though. Could I just call?

MELANIE: Well, all right, but...

MRS. MACGRUDER: I was hoping you'd be a little late, Miss Daniels. You see, he hasn't arrived yet.

MELANIE: You said three o'clock.

MRS. MACGRUDER: I know. Oh, I know. I've been calling all morning. Oh, you have no idea. Miss Daniels, they're so difficult to get, really they are. We get them from India, you know, when they're just little chicks, and then we have to...

MELANIE: Well, this one won't be a chick, will he?

MRS. MACGRUDER: Certainly not. Oh, no. Certainly not. This will be a full grown myna bird. Full grown.

MELANIE: And he'll talk?

MRS. MACGRUDER: Well, yes, he'll talk. Well, no, no. You'll have to teach him to talk.

MELANIE: Yes.

MRS. MACGRUDER: Yes. Oh my, I suppose I should call them again. They said three o'clock. Maybe it's the traffic. I'll call. Would you mind waiting?

MELANIE: I think maybe you'd better deliver him. Let me give you my address.

MRS. MACGRUDER: Oh. Oh, well, all right.

MELANIE: Hello, Mrs. MacGruder, have you ever seen so many gulls?

MRS. MACGRUDER: Hello, Miss Daniels.

MELANIE: What do you suppose it is?

MRS. BUNDY: And what? Vultures? Hawks? Eagles?

MELANIE: Maybe! Is it impossible?

MRS. BUNDY: Yes. I have never known birds of different species to flock together. The very concept is unimaginable. Why if that happened, we wouldn't have a chance. How could we possible hope to fight them?

MELANIE: Have you ever seen a jay protecting a nest?

MRS. BUNDY: I have seen jays doing everything it is conceivable for jays to do. Ornithology happens to be my avocation, Miss Daniels. You're talking about preservation of the species, a hen protecting her young. There's a vast difference between...

MELANIE: Maybe they're all protecting the species. Maybe they're tired of being shot at and roasted in ovens and...

MRS. BUNDY: Are you discussing gamebirds now? All birds are not gamebirds, you know.

MELANIE: I don't know anything about birds except that they're attacking this town.

MRS. BUNDY: Doesn't it seem odd that they'd wait all that time to start a... a war against humanity?

MELANIE: No one called it a war!

MELANIE: I don't know why.

MRS. BUNDY: I thought not. Birds have been on this planet since archaeopteryx, Miss Daniels; a hundred and twenty million years ago!

MRS. BUNDY: The gulls were after your fish, Mr. Sholes. Really, let's be logical about this.

MELANIE: What were the crows after at the school?

MRS. BUNDY: What do you think they were after, Miss...?

MELANIE: Daniels. I think they were after the children.

MRS. BUNDY: For what purpose?

MELANIE: To... To kill them.

MELANIE: Yes, all right, I'll wait for you. Good-by.

MRS. BUNDY: I hardly think a few birds are going to bring about the end of the world.

MELANIE: These weren't a few birds.

MELANIE: Hello, may I speak to Mitch Brenner, please? Yes, I'll wait.

MRS. BUNDY: ...insist on making it difficult for life to survive on this planet. If it weren't for birds...

MELANIE: I just came from the school, madam. I don't know about their brain pans but...

MRS. BUNDY: Birds are not aggressive creatures, Miss. They bring beauty to the world. It is mankind, rather, who...

MRS. BUNDY: They're both perching birds, of course, but of quite different species. The crow is brachyrhynchos. The blackbird is cyanocephalus.

MELANIE: Thank you. Do you know Dan Fawcett's number?

MELANIE: No, the birds didn't attack until the children were outside the school. Crows, I think. I don't know, Daddy. Is there a difference between crows and blackbirds?

MRS. BUNDY: There is very definitely a difference, Miss.

MELANIE: They're different, Daddy. Thank you. I think these were crows. Yes, hundreds of them. Yes, they attacked the children, attacked them. Daddy, a little girl was sent to the hospital in Santa Rosa. Well, all right, but you act as if I'm... all right, all right. No, I can't come home now. I just can't, Daddy. How is it there? I mean... are there birds? In the sky? But no trouble. Well, I hope... I don't know when. I simply can't leave now. Tell Mother not to worry. All right, Daddy, good-by.

SHOLES: How can we go on living here if we blanket the town with smoke?

MITCH: Can we go on living here otherwise?

SHOLES: How do you plan to do that?

MITCH: With smoke.

MITCH: I only know we've got to drive them away from town -- before they drive us away.

SHOLES: How?

MITCH: Mrs. Bundy, you said something about Santa Cruz. About seagulls getting lost in the fog, and heading in for the lights.

SHOLES: Look, Mitch, even if this is true, even if all the birds...

MITCH: Do you believe it's true, Sebastian?

SHOLES: No. I don't, Mitch. Because I can't see any reason for it.

MITCH: It's happening. Isn't that a good enough reason?

SHOLES: I like Bodega Bay as well as any man. If I thought...

MITCH: Then help me, Sebastian. You're an important man in this town. If you'll help, the rest will.

SHOLES: Help how? What do you want to do?

MITCH: I'm not sure, but...

SHOLES: If you don't even know what you want to do...

MITCH: Sebastian, I'm not an alarmist.

SHOLES: No one ever said you were, Mitch.

MITCH: I think we're in trouble. I don't know how or why this started, but I know it's here and I know we'd be crazy to ignore it.

MRS. BUNDY: That's right, sir, I recall it. A large flock of seagulls got lost in a fog and headed in for the town, where all the lights were.

SALESMAN: They made some mess, too, smashing into houses and everything. They always make a mess. We're better off without them.

MRS. BUNDY: The point is that no one seemed to get upset about it. They were gone the next morning, just as if nothing at all had happened. Poor things.

SALESMAN: Kill them all. Get rid of them. Messy animals.

MRS. BUNDY: ...probably contain more than a hundred billion birds!

SALESMAN: Then fight back. Get yourselves guns and wipe them off the face of the earth.

MRS. BUNDY: That would hardly be possible.

MRS. BUNDY: Birds?

SALESMAN: Yeah, birds. All they do is make a mess of everything. Who needs them?

MRS. BUNDY: We need them.

SALESMAN: Not if they're starting a war.

MRS. BUNDY: They are incapable of organized warfare!

SALESMAN: Scotch, light on the water.

MRS. BUNDY: You and Mr. Sholes seem to be implying as much.

SHOLES: Actually, those gulls must have been after the fish.

MRS. BUNDY: Of course.

SHOLES: Makes a lot more sense than... well, an attack.

MRS. BUNDY: Of course it does. If we believe that birds are attacking, why... why next we'll believe that grasshoppers and cockroaches are capable of...

SHOLES: How many gulls did you count, Mrs. Bundy?

MRS. BUNDY: Which gulls, Mr. Sholes? There are several varieties.

SHOLES: The ones that've been raising the devil with my fishing boats.

MRS. BUNDY: Probably herring gulls. They arrive in November, you know, and don't migrate North again until March or...

WOMAN: I'm leaving! Are you coming?

SALESMAN: All right, all right! Hope you figure this out, folks.

SALESMAN: Something like this happened in Santa Cruz last year. The town was covered with seagulls.

WOMAN: Can't you please finish your drink?

WOMAN: Were the Santa Rosa police at your school today? Are you coming?

SALESMAN: Take it easy, lady. There isn't a bird anywhere in sight.

SALESMAN: I'm going out that way, lady. You can follow me.

WOMAN: Then let's go. Now!

SALESMAN: I haven't finished my drink.

WOMAN: Put on your coats! Do you want to get trapped here?