The English Patient

ALMSY: Tell me about your garden.

KATHARINE: Our Garden, our garden - not so much the garden, but the copse alongside it, wild, a secret way plunging down to the shore and then nothing but water between you and France. The Devil's Chimney it was called - The Devil's Chimney, I don't know why. Darling. My darling.

ALMSY: And a good read. Don't waste it.

KATHARINE: Thank you. Will you bury Geoffrey? I know he's dead.

ALMSY: I'm sorry, Katharine.

KATHARINE: I know.

ALMSY: Every night I cut out my heart but in the morning it was full again.

KATHARINE: Do you promise? I wouldn't want to die here. I wouldn't want to die in the desert. I've always had a rather elaborate funeral in mind, with particular hymns. Very English. And I know exactly where I want to be buried. In our garden. Where I grew up. With a view of the sea. So promise me you'll come back for you.

ALMSY: I promise I'll come back. I promise I'll never leave you. And there's plenty of water and food. You can have a party.

KATHARINE: Shall we be all right?

ALMSY: Yes. Absolutely.

KATHARINE: Oh dear.

ALMSY: Listen to me, Katharine. You've broken your ankle and I'm going to have to try and bind it. I think your wrist might be broken, too - and some ribs, which is why it's hurting you to breathe. I'm going to have to walk to El Taj. Given all the traffic in the desert these days I should bump into one army or another before I reach there - or Fenelon-Barnes and his camel. And then I'll be back and we'll be fine, and I'll never leave you.

KATHARINE: It's so cold.

ALMSY: I know. I'm sorry. I'll make a fire. I'll be back.

KATHARINE: Don't leave me!

ALMSY: I'm just going to find things for the fire.

ALMSY: You're wearing the thimble.

KATHARINE: Of course. You idiot. I always wear it. I've always worn it. I've always loved you.

KATHARINE: Why did you hate me?

ALMSY: What?

KATHARINE: Don't you know you drove everybody mad?

ALMSY: Don't talk.

KATHARINE: You speak so many bloody languages and you never want to talk.

KATHARINE: Please don't move me. It hurts too much.

ALMSY: We've got to get you out of here.

KATHARINE: It hurts too much.

ALMSY: I know, darling, I'm sorry.

ALMSY: Why did he bring you?

KATHARINE: A surprise, he said.

ALMSY: Katharine! Oh dear God, Katharine - what are you doing here?

KATHARINE: I can't move. I can't get out.

ALMSY: Why did you hold his collar?

KATHARINE: What?

ALMSY: What? What? That boy, that little boy, you were holding his collar, gripping his collar, what for?

KATHARINE: Would you let me pass?

ALMSY: Is he next? Do you drag him into your little room? Where is it? Is this it?

KATHARINE: Don't do this.

ALMSY: I've watched you - on verandahs, at Garden Parties, at the Races - how can you stand there? How can you ever smile? As if your life hadn't capsized?

KATHARINE: You know why? He tries to hold her. She resists

ALMSY: Dance with me.

KATHARINE: No.

ALMSY: Dance with me. I want to touch you. I want the things which are mine. Which belong to me.

KATHARINE: Do you think you're the only one who feels anything? Is that what you think?

ALMSY: I just wanted you to know. I'm not missing you yet. She nods, can't find this funny.

KATHARINE: You will. You will.

KATHARINE: I just know - any minute he'll find out, we'll barge into somebody we'll - and it will ill him.

ALMSY: Don't go over it again, please.

KATHARINE: I'd better get back. Say goodbye here.

ALMSY: I'm not agreeing. Don't think I'm agreeing, because I'm not.

ALMSY: I don't care to bargain. It's full of saffron, just in case you think I'm giving it to you to encourage your sewing.

KATHARINE: That day, had you followed me to the market?

ALMSY: Of course. You didn't need to slap my face to make me feel as if you'd slapped my face.

KATHARINE: Shall we be all right?

ALMSY: Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

ALMSY: Madox knows, I think. He's tried to warn me. He keeps talking about Anna Karenina. I think it's his idea of a man-to-man chat. Its my idea of a man-to-man chat.

KATHARINE: This is a different world - is what I tell myself. A different life. And here I am a different wife.

ALMSY: Yes. A different wife.

ALMSY: This - what's it called? - this place, I love it - this is mine! I'm asking the King permission to call it the Almasy Bosphorous.

KATHARINE: I thought we were against ownership? I can stay tonight.

ALMSY: Ouch! See - you're always beating me..!

KATHARINE: You bastard, I was believing you!

KATHARINE: This is - what is this?

ALMSY: It's a folk song.

KATHARINE: Arabic?

ALMSY: No, no, it's Hungarian. My daijka sang it to me.

KATHARINE: It's beautiful. What's it about?

ALMSY: It's a long song - Szerelem means loveand the story - there's a Hungarian Count, he's a wanderer, a fool. For years he's on some kind of quest, who knows what? And then one day he falls under the spell of a mysterious English woman - a harpy - who beats him and hits him and he becomes her slave. He sews her clothes, he worships the hem of -

ALMSY: I can still taste you.

KATHARINE: This is empty, just coming!

ALMSY: I'm trying to write with your taste in my mouth. Swoon. I'll catch you.

ALMSY: Say you're sick.

KATHARINE: What? No!

ALMSY: Say you're feeling faint - the sun.

KATHARINE: No.

ALMSY: I can't work. I can't sleep. Lady Hampton calls impatiently.

ALMSY: What else?

KATHARINE: Marmite - addicted! Baths - not with other people! Islands. Your handwriting. I could go on all day. My husband. Almsy nods.

ALMSY: What do you hate most?

KATHARINE: A lie. What do you hate most?

ALMSY: Ownership. Being owned. When you leave, you should forget me.

ALMSY: When were you most happy?

KATHARINE: Now.

ALMSY: When were you least happy?

KATHARINE: Now.

ALMSY: Okay. And what do you love? Say everything.

KATHARINE: What do I love? I love rice pudding, and water, the fish in it, hedgehogs! The gardens at our house in Freshwater - all my secret paths.

KATHARINE: I'm impressed you can sew.

ALMSY: Good.

KATHARINE: You sew very badly.

ALMSY: You don't sew at all!

KATHARINE: A woman should never learn to sew, and if she can she should never admit to it. Close your eyes.

ALMSY: That makes it harder still.

KATHARINE: Will you not come in?

ALMSY: No.

KATHARINE: Will you please come in?

ALMSY: Mrs. Clifton - Katharine turns, disgusted.

KATHARINE: Don't.

ALMSY: I believe you still have my book.

KATHARINE: Do they know them?

ALMSY: No, but I think I do.

KATHARINE: Geoffrey's not in Cairo. He's not actually a buffoon. And the plane wasn't a wedding present. It belongs to the British Government. They want aerial maps of the whole North Africa. So I think he's in Ethiopia. In case you were counting on his sudden appearance.

ALMSY: And the marriage - is that a fiction?

KATHARINE: No, the marriage isn't a fiction.

ALMSY: Could I ask you, please, to paste you paintings into my book? I should like to have them. I should be honored.

KATHARINE: Of course. Is it, am I a terrible coward to ask how much water we have?

ALMSY: Water? Yes, we have water, we have a little in our can, we have water in the radiator which can be drunk. Not at all cowardly, extremely practical. Come on, come on! There's also a plant - I've never seen it but I'm told you can cut a piece the size of a heart from this plant and the next day it will be filled with a delicious liquid.

KATHARINE: Find that plant. Cut out its heart.

ALMSY: Madox will have calculated how many miles, they'll soon turn around.

KATHARINE: Oh my God, the others!

ALMSY: - there is the Harmattan, a red wind. Which Mariners called the sea of darkness. Red sand from this wind has flown as far as the south coast of England, producing showers so dense they were mistaken for blood. Almasy checks to see if Katharine is still awake.

KATHARINE: Fiction. We had a house on that coast and it never rained blood. Go on. More.

ALMSY: All true. Herodotus, your friend, tells of a wind - the Simoon - so evil that a nation declared war on it and marched out to fight it in full battle dress, their swords raised.

KATHARINE: This is not very good, is it?

ALMSY: No.

KATHARINE: Shall we be all right?

ALMSY: Yes. Absolutely.

KATHARINE: Yes is a comfort. Absolutely is not.

KATHARINE: What am I looking at?

ALMSY: See what's happening to them - the stars.

KATHARINE: They're so untidy. I'm just trying to rearrange them.

ALMSY: In an hour there will be no stars. The air is filling with sand.

ALMSY: You should come into the shelter.

KATHARINE: I'm quite all right, thank you.

ALMSY: Look over there.

ALMSY: What's this?

KATHARINE: I thought you might paste them into your book.

ALMSY: We took several photographs, there's no need.

KATHARINE: I'd like you to have them.

ALMSY: There's really no need. This is just a scrapbook. I should feel obliged. Thank you.

KATHARINE: And that would be unconscionable, I suppose, to feel any obligation? Yes. Of course it would.

KATHARINE: Actually, you sing.

ALMSY: Pardon?

KATHARINE: You sing. All the time.

ALMSY: I do not.

KATHARINE: Ask Al Auf. Almsy asks Al Auf in Arabic.

KATHARINE: What is he saying? Come on, what did he say?

ALMSY: He said - be careful.

KATHARINE: Be careful? You mean you - or me? Who?

ALMSY: Her or me?

ALMSY: This is an incredible story - about a man hunting an Ostrich, he's been telling me about Zerzura, he thinks he's been there, but his map, the route he's describing, he couldn't survive the journey now, but he's a poet, so his map is poetry - and now we're onto an Ostrich. I'm telling her your map is poetry. The Arab shrugs.

KATHARINE: What do you mean, poetry?

ALMSY: A mountain curved like a woman's back, a plateau the shape of an ear.

KATHARINE: Sounds perfectly clear. Where does the Ostrich come in?

ALMSY: The Ostrich is a detour. A poor man hunts an ostrich, it's the method. Nothing to do with Zerzura. To catch an ostrich you must appear not to move. The man finds a place where the ostrich feeds, a wadi, and stands where the ostrich can see him, on the horizon, and doesn't move, doesn't eat - otherwise the ostrich will run. At nightfall, he moves, fifty, sixty yards. When the ostrich comes the next day, the man is there, but he's nearer. Haunting the ostrich.

KATHARINE: Why did you follow me yesterday?

ALMSY: Excuse me?

KATHARINE: After the market, you followed me to the hotel.

ALMSY: I was concerned. As I said, women in that part of Cairo, a European women, I felt obliged to.

KATHARINE: You felt obliged to.

ALMSY: As the wife of one of our party.

KATHARINE: So why follow me? Escort me, by all means. Following me is predatory, isn't it?

ALMSY: How much did you pay?

KATHARINE: Hello! Good morning.

ALMSY: They don't see foreign women in this market. How much did you pay?

KATHARINE: Seven pounds, eight, I suppose. Why?

ALMSY: Which stall?

KATHARINE: Excuse me?

ALMSY: You've been cheated, don't worry, we'll take it back.

KATHARINE: I don't want to go back.

ALMSY: This is not worth eight pounds, Mrs. Clifton.

KATHARINE: I don't care to bargain.

ALMSY: That insults them.

KATHARINE: I don't believe that. I think you are insulted by me, somehow. You're a foreigner too, aren't you, here, in this market?

ALMSY: I should be very happy to obtain the correct price for this. I apologize if I appear abrupt. I am rusty at social graces. How do you find Cairo? Did you visit the Pyramids?

KATHARINE: Excuse me.

ALMSY: Daskylus

KATHARINE: Yes, thank you, Gyges, son of Daskylus - Candaules said to him I don't think you believe me when I tell you how beautiful my wife is. And although Gyges replied he did find the Queen magnificent the King insisted he would find some way to prove beyond dispute that she was fairest of all women. Do you all know this story?

KATHARINE: I can't sing. but I can tell a story. I might need a prompt. Do you have your Herodotus? I've noticed you carry it

ALMSY: I'm sorry - what have you noticed?

KATHARINE: Isn't Zerzura supposed to be protected by spirits who take on the shape of sandstorms?

ALMSY: What kind of fossils?

ALMSY: Thank you.

KATHARINE: I wanted to meet a man who could write such a long paper with so few adjectives.

ALMSY: A thing is still a thing no matter what you place in front of it. Big car, slow car, chauffeur-driven car, still a car.

ALMSY: Oops! Mustn't say International. Dirty word. Filthy word. His Majesty! Die Fhrer! Il Duce.

CLIFTON: Sorry, what's your point?

ALMSY: And the people here don't want us. Are you kidding? The Egyptians are desperate to get rid of the Colonials - isn't that right? Their best people get down on hands and knees begging to be spared a knighthood. Isn't that right?

CLIFTON: Have you seen Katharine?

ALMSY: What?

CLIFTON: It's Geoffrey under this.

ALMSY: I haven't, no. Sorry.

ALMSY: Safe journey.

CLIFTON: You too. Good luck!

ALMSY: Clifton - your wife - do you think it's appropriate to leave her?

CLIFTON: Appropriate?

ALMSY: I think the desert is, it's - for a woman - it's very tough, I wonder if it's not too much for her.

CLIFTON: Are you mad? Katharine loves it here. She told me yesterday.

ALMSY: All the same, I, were I you I would be concerned -

CLIFTON: I've known Katharine since she was three, my aunt is her aunt, we were practically brother and sister before we were man and wife. I think I'd know what is and what isn't too much for her. I think she's know herself.

ALMSY: Very well.

CLIFTON: Why are you people so threatened by a woman?!

ALMSY: What kind of photographs?

CLIFTON: Portraits. The Brigadier, the Brigadier's wife, the Brigadier's dogs, the Brigadier at the Pyramids, the Brigadier breathing.

CLIFTON: Uxoriousness - that's my favorite kind of love. Excessive love of one's wife.

ALMSY: There you have me.

CLIFTON: A broken car?

ALMSY: Still a car.

OFFICER: Good morning!

ALMSY: Could I trouble you for some water?

OFFICER: Yes, of course. So, golly, where have you come from?

ALMSY: I desperately need a jeep. There's been an accident.

OFFICER: I see.

ALMSY: No, I'm not thinking clearly - I need a doctor too, to come with me, can I take this vehicle? I'll pay, of course - and some morphine and Seventy miles - I can be back here by dusk.

OFFICER: Do you have your papers, sir?

ALMSY: What?

OFFICER: If I could just see some identification.

ALMSY: Am I not talking sense? - forgive me, I'm, I've been walking, I've - there's a woman badly injured at Gilf Kebir, in the Cave of Swimmers. I am a member of the Royal Geographical Society.

OFFICER: Right. And what's your name, sir?

ALMSY: Count Laszlo de Almsy. The Officer is writing this down. A glance at his Corporal.

OFFICER: Almsy - would you mind just spelling that for me? What nationality would that be?

ALMSY: Look, listen to me. A woman is dying - my wife! - is dying seventy miles from here. I have been walking for three days! I don't want to spell my name, I want you to give me this jeep!

OFFICER: I understand you are agitated - perhaps you would like to sit down while I radio back to HQ -

ALMSY: No! NO! Don't radio anybody, just give me the fucking jeep!

MADOX: I have to teach myself not to read too much into everything. Comes of too long having to read so much into hardly anything at all.

ALMSY: Goodbye, my friend. They shake hands.

MADOX: May God make safety your companion.

ALMSY: There is no God. But I hope someone looks after you.

MADOX: Had a letter from my wife. The wisteria is still out, which I'm looking forward to. She says Dorset is gripped with Invasion Fever. Wrong coast I should have thought, still

ALMSY: Right.

MADOX: Bermann thinks he'll be interned, poor fellow. I'm going to do what I can, but And D'Ag turns out to be a great admirer of Mussolini. So now you can say I told you so.

ALMSY: I told you so.

MADOX: We didn't care about countries. Did we? Brits, Arabs, Hungarians, Germans. None of that mattered, did it? It was something finer than that.

ALMSY: Yes. It was. Thanks for the compass. I'll look after it for you.

MADOX: When's Clifton picking you up?

ALMSY: Tomorrow afternoon. Don't worry. I'll be ready.

MADOX: I'll leave the plane in the hangar at Kufra Oasis. So if you need ithard to know how long one's talking about. We might all be back in a month or two.

MADOX: Look, either shut up, or go home.

ALMSY: Absolutely right, shut up. Lashings of apologies all round.

ALMSY: I believe I'm rather late.

MADOX: Good, we're all here? A toast, to the International Sand club - may it soon resurface.

ALMSY: Why do they care about our maps?

MADOX: What do we find in the desert? Arrow heads, spears. In a war, if you own the desert, you own North Africa.

ALMSY: Own the desert.

MADOX: And where are the Expedition Maps?

ALMSY: In my room.

MADOX: Those maps belong to His Majesty's Government. They're confidential. They shouldn't be left lying around for any Tom, Dick or Mary to have sight of.

ALMSY: What's the matter with you?

MADOX: Don't be so bloody nave. You know there's a war breaking out. This arrived this morning. By order of the British Government - all International Expeditions to be aborted by May 1939.

MADOX: And I'm telling you there's nothing there to explore.

ALMSY: No, because you can't see from the air! If you could explore from the air life would be very simple! Look! What is that? Is that a wadi? That whole spur is a real possibility

MADOX: Which we've overflown twice.

ALMSY: Which we couldn't explore because of rocks, because of cross-winds, it's sloppy. And here - and here - we could be staring at Zerzura.

MADOX: I'll be back as quick as I can. Thirty-six hours at the outside.

ALMSY: Try to get a second radiator, we'll bury it between here and the Pottery Hill. And a better jack. We planned badly.

MADOX: Bermann!

MADOX: What did you think you were doing in his tent?

ALMSY: Looking for the fossils. Why should we wait until we're in London? This girl was probably twelve years old.

MADOX: You shouldn't go into another man's tent. It's inexcusable.

ALMSY: Her hands and feet were tied.

MADOX: What did you do?

ALMSY: I looked at them. They're shrubs, small trees. Exquisite. And fossilized, rock hard. He walks away to the nose of the plane.

MADOX: I was talking about the girl.

ALMSY: Cut the ropes. I left a note, on his blanket. At the next Geographical Society I shall await with great interest the announcement of the Fenelon-Barnes Slave Knot. The Girl wouldn't leave, of course. Her father had sold her for a camel. He turns over the propeller, the engine cranks up.

ALMSY: Hey! Hey! Stop this jeep! Let me out of here - there's a woman dying, there's a woman dying while I'm - Hey!

CORPORAL: Shut-up!

ALMSY: Please - I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, please listen to me, this is a terrible mistake. Just stop, please, and listen to me. My wife is dying.

CORPORAL: Listen, Fritz, if I have to listen to another word from you I'll give you a fucking good hiding.

ALMSY: Fritz? What are you talking about? Who's Fritz?

CORPORAL: That's your name innit? Count Fucking Arsehole Von Bismarck? What's that supposed to be then, Irish?

HANA: No, I'll get you some tea. Wait till you're in Naples. You'll find a girl there.

BOY: Just kiss me. It would mean such a lot to me.

HANA: Would it? She kisses him, very softly, on the lips.

BOY: Thank you.

HANA: How are you?

BOY: Okay.

HANA: Your leg will be fine. A lot of shrapnel came out - I saved you the pieces.

BOY: You're the prettiest girl I ever saw.

MLLER: Go! Hey! Go! Caravaggio is in terror.

CARAVAGGIO: Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus Christ.

MLLER: Well, you must know. You were brought up Libya, yes?

CARAVAGGIO: Don't cut me.

MLLER: Or was it Toronto?

CARAVAGGIO: Don't cut me. Come on.

MLLER: Why is there so much nose? I can't hear myself think! Look - give me something. So we can all get out of this room. A name. A code. It's too hot.

CARAVAGGIO: I slept with the girl. I've got a wife in Tripoli. A girl comes up and points at you, you only see trouble.

CARAVAGGIO: Yes, I've been asking for weeks, a month, I don't know, also my leg was -

MLLER: We don't have a doctor, but we do have a nurse.

CARAVAGGIO: A nurse? Well, sure, a nurse is great. A nurse? Great.

MLLER: Is this you?

CARAVAGGIO: I don't know.

MLLER: It is you. This was taken in Cairo at British Headquarters - July 41. And so was this - August 41. And this -February 42.

CARAVAGGIO: It's impossible. I was buying or selling something. I've been to Cairo many times.

MLLER: You are a Canadian spy working for the Allies. Code-name Moose.

MLLER: David Caravaggio.

CARAVAGGIO: No.

MLLER: Petty thief, six months imprisonment Kingston Penitentiary, 1937.

CARAVAGGIO: I keep explaining. You've got the wrong man. My name is Bellini - Antonio Bellini. Bellini, Caravaggio, both painters, I think that is confusing you.

HANA: Buon' giorno.

CARAVAGGIO: She can take you as far as Florence.

HANA: I can get in the back.

CARAVAGGIO: Well, then ask him his name!

HANA: What's happened? Kip! What's happening? Don't shoot, please, don't shoot anybody.

HANA: Where did you find that?

CARAVAGGIO: I liberated it.

HANA: I think that's called looting.

CARAVAGGIO: No-one should own music. The real question is who wrote the song?

CARAVAGGIO: You have to protect yourself from sadness. This is the thing I've learned. You're in love with him, aren't you? Your patient. Do you think he's a saint or something? Because of the way he looks? I don't think he is.

HANA: I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with ghosts. And so is he. He's in love with ghosts.

CARAVAGGIO: Who are his ghosts?

HANA: Ask him.

CARAVAGGIO: What if I told you he did this to me?

HANA: What? How could he have? When?

CARAVAGGIO: I'm one of his ghosts and he wouldn't even know. It's like he slammed a door in Cairo and it trapped my fucking hands in Tobruk.

HANA: I don't know what that means.

CARAVAGGIO: Ask him. Ask your saint who he is. Ask him who he's killed.

HANA: Please don't creep around this house.

CARAVAGGIO: Hana? Hana? Are you alright?

HANA: Don't touch me if you're going to try and fuck me.

CARAVAGGIO: I'll have some of your water. It's hot.

HANA: It's a week. We didn't know where you were - or if you coming back, or -

CARAVAGGIO: You should be happy. What were you going to do for him when it ran out? He pulls out more phials from his jacket.

HANA: What do you do? What are you doing here?

CARAVAGGIO: Some gave me a dress. You know what's great? What I'm learning? You win a war and you not only gain the miles you get the moral ground. Everywhere I go, we're in the right. I like that.

HANA: I could help you. I could get you off that.

CARAVAGGIO: Can you cook the rabbit or will you try and bring that back to life?

CARAVAGGIO: Supper. Hana calls after him.

HANA: Where've you been?

CARAVAGGIO: Rabbit hunting.

CARAVAGGIO: They're fresh. I haven't eaten an egg inhave you noticed there are chickens? You get chickens in Italy but no eggs. In Africa there were always eggs, but never chickens. Who separates them?

HANA: You were in Africa?

CARAVAGGIO: Yeah, for a while.

HANA: So was my Patient.

CARAVAGGIO: I'd like to stay. That's the long and short of it. I mean, you know blah-blah if it's convenient, if there's room blah-blah-blah. I have to do some work here -I speak the language. There are Partisans to be - -we embrace them and see if we can relieve them of their weapons, you know - while we hug. I was a thief, so they think I'd be good at that.

HANA: So you can shoot a pistol?

CARAVAGGIO: No.

HANA: If you said yes I would have had a reason. You should let me redress those bandages. Before you go.

CARAVAGGIO: I'm okay. Look, it's a big house. We needn't disturb each other. I can shoot a pistol! I'll sleep in the stables. I don't care where I sleep. I don't sleep.

HANA: Because we're fine here. I don't know what Mary told you about me, but I don't need company, I don't need to be looked at.

CARAVAGGIO: Fine. I'm not looking.

CARAVAGGIO: Buon' Giorno! Hana turns, startled and suspicious.

CARAVAGGIO: Are you Hana?

HANA: What do you want?

CARAVAGGIO: I met your friend Mary. She said I should stop and see if you were okay. Apparently we're neighbors - my house is two blocks from yours in Montreal. Cabot, north of Laurier. Bonjour.

HANA: Bonjour.

CARAVAGGIO: You get to the morning and the poison leaks away, doesn't it? Black nights, fucking black nights, when you want to howl like a dog. I thought I would kill you. You killed my friends, you ruined my hands. But the girl was always here, like some Guardian Angel.

THE PATIENT: You can't kill me. I died years ago.

CARAVAGGIO: No, now I can't kill you.

CARAVAGGIO: And did you never see Katharine? You never got back to the Cave?

THE PATIENT: Yes, I got back there finally to keep my promise. To come back for her. And then of course I couldn't I couldn't even do that properly.

CARAVAGGIO: So, I come across the Hospital Convoy I was looking for this stuff, and some nurse, Mary, Hana's friend, tells me about you and Hana, hiding in a monastery, in purdah, whatever it is - retreat - how you'd come in from the Desert and you were burned and you didn't know your name but you knew the words to every song there was and you had one possession - - a copy of Herodotus - and it was full of letters and cuttings, and then I knew it must be you.

THE PATIENT: Me?

CARAVAGGIO: I'd seen you writing in that book. At the Embassy in Cairo, when I had thumbs and you had a face. And a name.

THE PATIENT: I see.

CARAVAGGIO: Before you went over to the Germans, before you got Rommel's spy across the desert and inside British headquarters. He took some pretty good photographs - I saw mine in that torture room in Tobruk, so they made an impression.

THE PATIENT: And you thought you'd come and settle the score?

CARAVAGGIO: You were the only man who knew the desert well enough, the only man who would cross seventeen hundred miles of nothing.

THE PATIENT: I had to get back to the desert. I made a promise. The rest meant nothing to me.

CARAVAGGIO: What did you say?

THE PATIENT: The rest meant nothing to me.

CARAVAGGIO: There was a result to what you did. It wasn't just another expedition. It did this. If the British hadn't unearthed your nosey photographer in Cairo thousands of people could have died.

THE PATIENT: Thousands of people did die, just different people.

CARAVAGGIO: But you were among the British, they were your friends - why betray them?

THE PATIENT: Is that what you thought? That I betrayed the British? The British betrayed me. The British betrayed me.

THE PATIENT: Hana tells me you're leaving.

CARAVAGGIO: There are going to be trials, they want me to interpret, don't they know I'm allergic to courtrooms?

THE PATIENT: We shall miss you.

CARAVAGGIO: What? You and Madox? Or you and Katharine Clifton?

THE PATIENT: What?

CARAVAGGIO: Have a drink.

THE PATIENT: I've had a drink. Fatal.

CARAVAGGIO: Well, anything you do is likely to be fatal, so you know -

THE PATIENT: Very true!

THE PATIENT: Irving Berlin.

CARAVAGGIO: For?

THE PATIENT: Top Hat.

CARAVAGGIO: Is there a song you don't know?

CARAVAGGIO: Thought you'd never wake up!

THE PATIENT: What? Hana comes in, sleepily, frowns at the gramophone.

CARAVAGGIO: Is it you? If I said Moose I look different, fuck, why shouldn't you?

THE PATIENT: Moose.

CARAVAGGIO: First wedding anniversary - what do you call it?

THE PATIENT: I don't know. Paper. Is it? Paper? I don't remember.

THE PATIENT: Are you outside? A beat and then Caravaggio shuffles in. Like an old boxer.

CARAVAGGIO: I can't hide anymore. I breathe like a dog. I lose my balance. Stealing's got harder. Caravaggio stares at the Herodotus.

CARAVAGGIO: Why do I feel if I had your book I would know everything?

THE PATIENT: I don't even know if it is my book. The Bedouin found it in the plane, in the wreckage. It's mine now. I heard your breathing and thought it might be rain. I'm dying for rain - of course I'm dying anyway - but I long to feel rain on my face.

THE PATIENT: I think anybody she ever loves tends to die on her.

CARAVAGGIO: Are you planning to be the exception?

THE PATIENT: Me? You've got the wrong end of the stick, old boy. So - Caravaggio - Hana thinks you invented your name.

CARAVAGGIO: And you've forgotten yours.

THE PATIENT: I told her you would never invent such a preposterous name.

CARAVAGGIO: I told her you can forget everything but you never forget your name.

CARAVAGGIO: Thief, I think, is more accurate.

THE PATIENT: I understand you were in Africa. Whereabouts?

CARAVAGGIO: Oh, all over.

THE PATIENT: All over? I kept trying to cover a very modest portion and still failed. Are you leaving us? Now's our opportunity to swap war wounds.

CARAVAGGIO: Hello.

THE PATIENT: Finally! So you're our Canadian pickpocket?

CLIFTON: Darling, I just heard. You poor sausage, are you all right?

KATHARINE: I'm fine. I got hot.

CLIFTON: Lady H said she thought you might be -

KATHARINE: I'm not pregnant. I'm hot. I'm too hot.

CLIFTON: Right.

KATHARINE: Aren't you?

CLIFTON: Sweltering. Come on, I'll take you home.

KATHARINE: Can't we really go home? I can't breathe. Aren't you dying for green, anything green, or rain, wouldn't you die to feel rain on your face? It's Christmas and it's all - I don't know - if you asked me I'd go home tomorrow. If you wanted.

CLIFTON: Sweetheart, you know we can't go home, there might be a war.

KATHARINE: Geoffrey, you do so love putting on a disguise.

CLIFTON: I do so love you. What do you smell of?

KATHARINE: What?

CLIFTON: Marzipan! I think you've got marzipan in your hair. No wonder you're homesick.

KATHARINE: Why do you think? About my staying?

CLIFTON: Well look, if nobody minds, truly, then I suppose - I shall, of course, be bereft

KATHARINE: Oh.

CLIFTON: But finally able to explore the Cairo night-life. I shall produce an authoritative guide to the Zinc Bars and - I want to say Harems - am I in the right country for Harems?

CLIFTON: I was just saying, I'm going to cable Downing Street, see if I can't stir up a few shillings - Katharine's mother and the PM's wife are best -

KATHARINE: Darling, for goodness' sake!

CLIFTON: Well, she is!

CLIFTON: The team is in mourning, darling.

KATHARINE: Oh really?

KATHARINE: But then the Queen looked up and saw Gyges concealed in the shadows. And though she said nothing, she shuddered. The next day she sent for Gyges and challenged him. And hearing his story, she said this -

CLIFTON: Off with his head!

MADOX: And a special thank you to Geoffrey and Katharine, without whose fund raising heroics we should still be kicking our heels. They toast the Cliftons.

CLIFTON: To arm-twisting.

MADOX: Did Katharine say? - Geoffrey has to fly back to Cairo.

CLIFTON: Have to return the favor - take a few photographs for the army.

CLIFTON: Good heavens, are you married, Madox?

MADOX: Very much so. We are all, save my friend here.

MADOX: Of course. Well, we should all go out onto the terrace.

CLIFTON: Oh no, really. She has her book.

MADOX: I won't hear of it. None of us will.

MADOX: I think you know all of us, except for Geoffrey and Katharine Clifton, who've recently come out from England.

CLIFTON: Apprentices.

MADOX: This is Clive Fenelon-Barnes.

MADOX: Marvelous plane. Did you look?

CLIFTON: Isn't it? Wedding present from Katharine's parents. I'm calling it Rupert Bear. Hello. Geoffrey Clifton.

MADOX: We can finally consign my old bird to the scrapheap. Almsy smiles and walks on towards the others.

THE PATIENT: Who knows the Bosphorus Hug?

HANA: Never heard of it.

THE PATIENT: That was a dance we invented at the International Sand Club.

THE PATIENT: Why don't you go? You should sleep.

HANA: Would you like me to?

THE PATIENT: I'm still here.

HANA: You'd better be.

THE PATIENT: Don't depend on it. Will you? That little bit of air, each day there's less of it, which is al right, which is quite all right.

THE PATIENT: Hana was just telling me that you were indifferent -

HANA: Hey! -

THE PATIENT: - to her cooking.

THE PATIENT: You like him, don't you? Your voice changes.

HANA: I don't think it does. Anyway, he's indifferent to me.

THE PATIENT: I don't think it's indifference.

HANA: Arguing about books.

THE PATIENT: Condensed milk - one of the truly great inventions.

HANA: Good morning. Did you know that? You're always singing?

THE PATIENT: I've been told that before.

HANA: Kip's another one.

HANA: I liked it better when there were just the two of us.

THE PATIENT: Why? Is he staying?

HANA: With his Sergeant. A Mr. Hardy.

THE PATIENT: We should charge! Doesn't anyone have a job to do?

HANA: They have to clear all the local roads of mines. That's a big job. They won't stay in the house. They're putting up their tent in the garden.

THE PATIENT: In that case, I suppose we can't charge.

HANA: I'll probably marry him.

THE PATIENT: Really? That's sudden.

HANA: My mother always told me I would summon my husband by playing the piano.

HANA: He wants us to move out, says there could be fifty more mines in the building. He thinks I'm mad because I laughed at him. He's Indian, he wears a turban.

THE PATIENT: Sikh. If he wears a turban, he's a Sikh.

HANA: Tell me about this, this is in your handwriting - December 22nd - Betrayals in war are childlike compared with our betrayals during peace. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything - for the heart is an organ of fire I love that, I believe that. Who is K?

THE PATIENT: K is for Katharine.

THE PATIENT: Could I ask you to move? I'm sorry - but when you turn, the sheets, I can't really bear the sheets moving over me. Sorry.

HANA: Yes, of course, I'm so sorry. Stupid of me. Hana gets up, upset to have hurt him.

THE PATIENT: Something smells so rich. My stomach is heaving -

HANA: He came back, he says he caught a rabbit. I'm cooking it.

THE PATIENT: That's a different dress.

HANA: He keeps asking me questions about you. Do you know him? Do you recognize him?

THE PATIENT: Do I recognize him? I recognize what he is. I like him. He's Canadian. He can read Italian. He can catch rabbits.

HANA: This is Captain McGann.

THE PATIENT: Please, don't waste your time on pleasantries -

HANA: Excuse me -

THE PATIENT: Yes?

HANA: Can I ask - my friend, can he come in? Just for a few minutes?

THE PATIENT: Your friend?

HANA: He's going back to the front this evening. I can't see him otherwise.

THE PATIENT: Just go off. I'll be quite all right.

HANA: No, I can't go, but if it, if you weren't offended, it would be very good of you to allow us - every other cabin is crammed. This is as private as we'll get.

THE PATIENT: Well then - yes. Of course.

HANA: Thank you. Thank you.

HANA: There's a man downstairs. He brought us eggs. He might stay.

THE PATIENT: Why? Can he lay eggs?

HANA: He's Canadian.

THE PATIENT: Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? What happened in Montreal when you passed a man in the street - did you invite him to live with you?

HANA: He needn't disturb you.

THE PATIENT: Me? He can't. I'm already disturbed.

HANA: He won't disturb us then. I think he's after morphine. There's a war. Where you come from becomes important. And besides - we're vulnerable here. I keep hearing noises in the night. Voices.

THE PATIENT: Zerzura, the White City of Acacias, the Oasis of Little Birds. As me about the scent of acacia - it's in this room. I can smell it. The taste of tea so black it falls into your mouth. I can taste it. I'm chewing the mint. Is there sand in my eyes? Are you cleaning sand from my ears?

HANA: No sand. That's your drugs speaking.

THE PATIENT: I can see my wife in that view.

HANA: Are you remembering more?

THE PATIENT: Could I have a cigarette?

HANA: Are you crazy?

THE PATIENT: Why are you so determined to keep me alive?

HANA: Because I'm a nurse.

HANA: I should try and move your bed. I want you to be able to see the view. It's good, it's a view from a monastery.

THE PATIENT: I can already see.

HANA: How? How can you see anything?

THE PATIENT: Not the window - I can't bear the light anyway - no, I can see all the way to the desert. I've found the lost fossils.

HANA: I'm turning you.

HANA: Are you asleep?

THE PATIENT: Yes. Dropping off.

HANA: I will hide you in the room where we sleep, said Candaules. She stumbles over the word.

THE PATIENT: Candaules

HANA: Candaulesyou're laughing at me.

THE PATIENT: I'm not laughing at you. Go on, please.

HANA: When my wife comes to lie down she always lays her garments one by one on a seat near the entrance of the room, and from where you stand you will be able to gaze on her at your leisure

HANA: Oh - I've found plums. We have plums in the orchard. We have an orchard! She has peeled a plum and now slips it into his mouth.

THE PATIENT: Thank you.

THE PATIENT: Before you find too many uses for these books would you read some to me?

HANA: I think they're all in Italian, but I'll look, yes. What about your own book?

THE PATIENT: My book? The Herodotus? Yes, we can read him.

THE PATIENT: What was all the banging? Were you fighting rats or the entire German army?

HANA: I was repairing the stairs. I found a library and the books were very useful.

THE PATIENT: There was a Prince, who was dying, and he was carried up the tower at Pisa so he could die with a view of the Tuscan Hills. Am I that Prince? Hana laughs.

HANA: Because you're leaning? No, you're just on an angle. You're too heavy!

JAN: Where's your Stuart from? Somewhere near there, isn't it?

HANA:

HANA: I'm not sewing anything else for you!

JAN: I love you.

JAN: There's meant to be lace in the next village - the boys are taking me.

HANA: I'm not sewing anything else.

JAN: You don't have any money, do you? Just in case there's silk.

HANA: No!

JAN: Hana, I know you do!

HANA: I'll always go back to that church. Look at my painting.

KIP: I'll always go back to that church.

HANA: So one day we'll meet.

HANA: I've clung to you. I've clung to you. Kip. Life a raft.

KIP: Then come with me.

KIP: Will you come with me?

HANA: Of course. When?

KIP: I mean home. India.

HANA: Kip I -

KIP: I know - here I am always a brown man, there you would be always a white woman.

HANA: Is that what you think? Is that what you think I think?

KIP: It's what I've learned.

HANA: I'm thinking about your heart, not your skin. And how to reach it. And that I don't think I can. A bomb has ruined us, just not the bomb I thought would ruin us.

KIP: This is hot!

HANA: Nya-nya-nya!

HANA: What are you up to?

KIP: That gun at Lahor, Kipling's cannon - Zamzammah - remember? That was made out of the metal of ordinary things. I want to make an ordinary thing out of guns. His bayonet is thrust into the forge. It's red hot.

KIP: When I went to England I was amazed at what went on, the waste - I'd been taught to re-use everything, the dung from a cow to cool a radiator, a fork to fix a typewriter - India could live for a hundred years on what I saw thrown away.

HANA: I should go to the house, get breakfast.

KIP: The lamp was burning all night in his room. Caravaggio was there with him.

HANA: If one night I didn't come to the tent, what would you do?

KIP: I try not to expect you.

HANA: But if it got late and I hadn't shown up?

KIP: Then I'd think there must be a reason.

HANA: You wouldn't come to find me? That makes me never want to come here. But she continues unraveling the turban.

KIP: I was thinking yesterday - yesterday! - the Patient, Hardy: they're everything that's good about England. I couldn't even say what that was. We didn't exchange two personal words, and we've been together through some terrible things, some - he was engaged to a girl in the village! - I mean - and us - he never once He didn't ask me if I could spin the ball at cricket or the kamasutra or - I don't even know what I'm talking about.

HANA: You loved him.

HANA: Kip - come and dance with me

KIP: Yes. Later.

HANA: Don't go. I'm frightened. I can love a coward, I can't love another dead man.

KIP: This is what I do. I do this every day.

KIP: What is this business with you and explosives? Do you think you're immune?

HANA: I promise you that was the right thing to do. He's my good luck. Now cut. This one. I hope we don't die.

KIP: Okay. Get away from here. Quick.

HANA: I'm not scared. So many people have died around me. But I would be a shame for us. I don't feel like being shy.

KIP: You must get away. Before I cut. I'm not cutting if you're here. He's struggling. He's going to topple over if he cuts.

HANA: Actually, you can't cut, can you? You'll fall over. Give me the pliers.

KIP: No. But he hands them over.

HANA: Kiss me. Before I cut. Just in case.

KIP: Don't talk. Check again. Lie flat and then cut.

HANA: Why would anyone do this?

KIP: I've done this. I've had to do this.

HANA: It's okay - I'll help. Please.

KIP: The mines, the wires, there's a trick. Some explode if you stretch the wires, some if you cut them.

HANA: What do I do?

KIP: There's a mine here, but the others are far enough away, I think at least to give me a chance. I have to work out which one to cut before I fall over.

HANA: So I follow the wires?

KIP: You get Hardy.

HANA: I follow the wires.

KIP: I'll get another tin. Hana and the Patient are alone.

HANA: I didn't like that book either. It's all about men. Too many men. Just like this house.

KIP: For my hair?

HANA: Yes, for your hair.

HANA: Try this. I found a great jar of it. Olive oil. In Naples this was so precious it would have bought you a wife.

KIP: Thank you.

HANA: Excuse me. Yes? I don't have the key to that door.

KIP: The Germans were here. The Germans were all over this area. They left mines everywhere. Pianos were their favorite hiding places.

HANA: I see. Then may be you're safe as long as you only play Bach. He's German. Kip is looking around the piano. Hana giggles.

KIP: Is something funny?

HANA: No, but, no, not at all. I'm sorry. You came to the doors, that's all and - - such good manners for someone worried about mines. That's all.

KIP: I've met you before.

HANA: I don't think so.

HANA: He's gone, hasn't he?

OLIVER: No. He's - no.

HANA: Oh God. Oh God.

OLIVER: Third Canadian Fusiliers.

HANA: Does he know a Captain McGann? The boy hears this, whispers to Oliver.

HANA: Why Picton?

OLIVER: He's from there - edge of Lake Ontario right, Soldier?

OLIVER: It's not safe here. The whole country's crawling with Bandits and Germans and God knows what. It's madness. I can't allow it. You're not, this is natural - it's shock. For all of us. Hana -

HANA: I need morphine. A lot. And a pistol.

OLIVER: And what if he really is a spy?

HANA: He can't even move.

OLIVER: If anything happened to you I'd never forgive myself.

HANA: The war's over - you told me yourself. How can it be desertion?

OLIVER: It's not over everywhere. I didn't mean literally.

HANA: When he dies I'll catch up.

HARDY: I was looking for the Lieutenant Singh.

HANA: He's sleeping.

HARDY: Only we have to go to work.

HANA: I'll tell him. What is it? Is it a mine?

HARDY: A bomb. At the Viaduct. She closes the door, then reappears.

HANA: Does he have to go?

HARDY: Pardon me?

HANA: What if you couldn't find him? Sergeant, not today, please. Not this morning.

HANA: Hello.

HARDY: Hello miss.

HANA: I was going to say - if you want to eat with us, ever you and Lieutenant Singh

HARDY: Very kind of you, we can always eat in the town with the others -

HANA: Since Caravaggio turned up - food seems to appear, so please.

HARDY: I'll ask the Lieutenant. But thank you.

HANA: You saved my life. I haven't forgotten. I thought you were very very tall. You seemed to big - a Giant - and I felt like a child who can't keep her balance.

HARDY: A toddler

HANA: You've got a mustache.

STUART: A bit of one.

HANA: I was looking forward to this evening.

STUART: I had a hotel room.

HANA: I thought that was for when we were very very old?

STUART: I'm feeling old.

STUART: I've got a surprise. A boat! We can go to Capri. It's got a cabin, it's private.

HANA: I'd like to spend a night with you in a bed.

STUART: We can do that when we're very, very old.

STUART: Whoa - give me a chance!

HANA: Sorry. I took a Benzedrine.

HARDY: You've got to cut, sir, that frost won't last.

KIP: Go away.

HARDY: Yessir.

KIP: This is making me incredibly angry.

KIP: What's happening? Am I needed?

HARDY: I'm afraid so, sir. Kip hurries to his tent. Hana follows him.

KIP: Hey! Hey! Stop! Hey!

HARDY: Don't move! Stand ABSOLUTELY STILL! Hana stops.

MADOX: Certainly not.

KATHARINE: I insist. There clearly isn't room for us all, I'm the least able to dig, and I'm not one of the walking wounded. Those are facts. Besides, if I remain it's the most effective method of persuading my husband to abandon whatever he's doing and rescue us. It's hard to argue with this logic.

KATHARINE: Darling, Peter says I could stay

MADOX: Why not?

MADOX: I'm afraid we're not having much luck obtaining funds for the expedition.

KATHARINE: How awful. What will you do?

MADOX: A more modest expedition, or even wait a year. Remind our families we still exist.

MADOX: Mrs. Clifton, you'll have to forgive us. We're not accustomed to the company of women.

KATHARINE: Not at all. I was thoroughly enjoying by book. Please. Signor D'Agostino, Herr Bermann.

MADOX: Your book. Your Herodotus! Almsy looks uncomfortable.

KATHARINE: It doesn't matter. Really. I think I can muddle through. Okay - The Story of Candaules and Gyges. King Candaules was passionately in love with his wife - One day he said to Gyges, the son of somebody, anyway - his favorite warrior -

LADY HAMPTON: You should sit down, darling. She's quite all right. Are you pregnant?

KATHARINE: I don't think so.

LADY HAMPTON: How romantic. With Fiona I fell over every five minutes. Ronnie Christened me Lady Downfall.

KATHARINE: I think I might go inside and sit down for a few minutes.

LADY HAMPTON: I'll come with you.

KATHARINE: No, please. I shall be absolutely fine. They pass Almsy, who doesn't look up from his book.

LADY HAMPTON: Katharine!

KATHARINE: Coming. I can't sleep. I woke up shouting in the middle of the night. Geoffrey thinks it's the thing in the desert, the trauma.

KIP: They're excited! They're happy about destroying a whole city. Would they do that to a White Man's City? Never!

THE PATIENT: Go on, do it. I don't need to hear any more.

THE PATIENT: Kip?

KIP: I looked up to you, Uncle. My brother always said I was a fool. Never trust the British, he said: the deal-makers, the map-makers; never shake hands with them.

THE PATIENT: What are you talking about?

KIP: What have I been doing all this time? Do you know how many mines I've seen? - more mines than there are soldiers, more - how many mines we've put in the ground ourselves, stuffed in corpses, dropped out of the sky. And now this.

THE PATIENT: This is wonderful!

KIP: What's he saying?

KIP: Brick platform opposite the old Ajaib-Gher -

THE PATIENT: - The Wonder House comma as the natives called the Lahore Museum.

KIP: It's still there, the cannon, outside the museum. It was made of metal cups and bowls taken from every household in the city as tax, then melted down. Then later they fired the cannon at my people - comma - The natives.

THE PATIENT: So what do you really object to - the writer or what he's writing about?

KIP: What I really object to, Uncle, is your finishing all my condensed milk. And the message everywhere in your book - however slowly I read it - that the best destiny for India is to be ruled by the British.

THE PATIENT: Hana, we have discovered a shared please - the boy and I.

THE PATIENT: Am I being interrogated? You should be trying to trick me. Ask me about Tottenham Hotspur. Or Buckingham Palace. About Marmite - I was addicted. Or make me speak German, which I can, by the way.

OFFICER: Why? Are you German?

THE PATIENT: No.

OFFICER: How do you know you're not German if you don't remember anything?

THE PATIENT: You tell me. I remember a lot of things. I remember a garden, plunging down to the sea - the Devil's Chimney we called it - and there was a cottage at the bottom, right on the shore, nothing between you and France.

OFFICER: This was your garden?

THE PATIENT: Or my wife's.

OFFICER: Then you were married?

THE PATIENT: I think so. Although I believe that to be true of a number of Germans. Might I have a glass of water?

OFFICER: What about your rank or serial number?

THE PATIENT: No. I think I was a pilot. I was found near the wreckage of a plane by the Bedouin. I was with them for some time.