Lost in Translation

BOB: Hello?

ELAINE: Bob, it's me.

BOB: Oh, hi, Elaine.

ELAINE: So, we got you on an earlier flight, but I really think you should think about staying for that talk show.

BOB: Ok.

ELAINE: You'll do it?

BOB: Yeah, I'll stay.

BOB: Can you get me on a flight Thursday night?

ELAINE: We're looking into it Bob, but they really want you to stay to do that talk show Friday, apparently it's a really big deal, he's the Johnny Carson of Japan.

BOB: Yeah, they told me.

ELAINE: These people are paying you a lot, do you think you could consider it?

BOB: Just get me out of here as soon as you can.

ELAINE: Ok, you're scheduled to leave Saturday, but we'll hold a seat Thursday in case, but first class is full, you're waitlisted for an upgrade... there might be a seat on Lufthansa...

BOB: Oh, great. I'll talk to you later, bye.

BOB: Why are you crying?

CHARLOTTE: I'll miss you.

CHARLOTTE: You're leaving right now?

BOB: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Well... have a good flight.

BOB: Thanks.

CHARLOTTE: Ok, bye.

CHARLOTTE: Just saying good-bye to everyone before you leave?

BOB: Yes, no.

BOB: Charlotte?

CHARLOTTE: Hi, Bob.

BOB: I'm just leaving.... do you have my jacket?

CHARLOTTE: Uh, yeah... I'll bring it down.

BOB: That'd be great.

BOB: I don't want to go back tomorrow.

CHARLOTTE: I know. But, it doesn't last, you have to go back sometime.

BOB: Why can't it last?

CHARLOTTE: I don't know, it just doesn't, reality changes things....we can't stay here forever, unless maybe we started a Jazz band.

CHARLOTTE: When are you leaving?

BOB: Tomorrow.

CHARLOTTE: I'm going to miss you.

BOB: That's what you said the other night.

CHARLOTTE: Well, I mean it more now.

BOB: I'm sorry.

CHARLOTTE: That lunch was the worst, huh.

BOB: So, where'd you go today.

CHARLOTTE: Around.

BOB: What do you want to drink?

CHARLOTTE: A coke.

CHARLOTTE: Well, I guess she's more around your age... You guys could talk about things in common, like growing up in the fifties.

BOB: You're a brat, wasn't there anyone else around to lavish you with attention?

CHARLOTTE: You can't get sushi anywhere in Japan after 2 o'clock. Did you know that?

BOB: No, we'll find something around here.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, I guess you're busy, huh.

BOB: I don't want to be.

CHARLOTTE: I'm going to Daikanyama, do you want to come walk around?

BOB: Yes, but no, I can't right now.

BOB: Where's your husband?

CHARLOTTE: Working.

BOB: Do you ever see him?

CHARLOTTE: Yeah.

BOB: Do you know where we are?

CHARLOTTE: No.

CHARLOTTE: It's bad isn't it?

BOB: We should get you to the doctor.

CHARLOTTE: You think so?

BOB: Yeah, look at that thing.

BOB: What happened to your toe?

CHARLOTTE: I don't know, I think maybe I broke it? I knocked into something the other day...

BOB: Nice one.

CHARLOTTE: Fuck off.

BOB: It's for my daughter.

CHARLOTTE: How old is she?

BOB: Four.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, she'll love it.

CHARLOTTE: You made it.

BOB: They really have to work on that street name thing.

CHARLOTTE: Why do you have to be with your opposite, why cant similar people be together?

BOB: Because that would be too easy.

BOB: I know.

CHARLOTTE: John thinks I'm so snotty.

BOB: You are.

CHARLOTTE: I know, but that's what you like about me.

CHARLOTTE: I'm stuck. Does it get easier.

BOB: No, yes, it does...

CHARLOTTE: Yeah? But look at you.

BOB: Thanks. It does, the more you know who you are... you don't care about things the same way...

CHARLOTTE: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. I thought maybe I wanted to be a writer... but I hate what I write, and I tried taking pictures, but John's so good at that, and mine are so mediocre... and every girl goes through a photography phase, like horses, you know dumb pictures of your feet...

BOB: You'll figure it out. I'm not worried about you. Keep writing.

CHARLOTTE: But, I'm mean.

BOB: That's ok.

CHARLOTTE: And marriage, does that get easier?

BOB: It's hard. We started going to a marriage counselor.

CHARLOTTE: Did that help? Did you learn anything?

BOB: We established that we have no communication.

CHARLOTTE: Oh.

BOB: We used to have fun, she used to like to go to places with me for my movies and we would laugh at all the weirdos, but now she's tired of it all. She never wants to leave the kids, she doesn't need me, and they don't need me, I feel like I'm in the way. It gets complicated when you have kids... that changes everything.

CHARLOTTE: That's too scary.

BOB: When they're born its like Vietnam. It's terrifying.

CHARLOTTE: No one ever tells you that...

BOB: But, it's great being with them, after they can talk, and can do things with you.

CHARLOTTE: That's nice. My parents were always traveling, they weren't around so much.

BOB: Where'd you grow up?

CHARLOTTE: In D.C., my dad was the Ambassador to France in the eighties, so we went to school in Paris for a few years... but we mostly lived in D.C., and they were never around... and then I moved to Los Angeles when John and I got married... it's so different there.

CHARLOTTE: Why do they switch the r's and l's here?

BOB: I don't know. My fax said "have a good fright".

CHARLOTTE: Let's never come here again, because it would never be as much fun.

BOB: Ok, whatever you want.

CHARLOTTE: Did you see Hiromix last night dancing with Bambi?

BOB: No, I was looking at you.

CHARLOTTE: Oh. Well... they were dancing on the couch with that weird English guy who kept talking about hanging out with the Sex Pistols on Kings Road...

BOB: I got a fax today from your friend Hiromix.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, for her show?

BOB: No, for a candlelight dinner, yes, for her show.

CHARLOTTE: Oh.

BOB: You're possessive.

CHARLOTTE: I know.

CHARLOTTE: Did I scowl at you?

BOB: No, you smiled.

CHARLOTTE: I don't remember.

BOB: I know, I kind of blend in here.

CHARLOTTE: Do you remember when we met at the bar? ...You were wearing a tuxedo.

BOB: But the first time I saw you was in the elevator.

CHARLOTTE: Really?

BOB: Yeah, you don't remember?

BOB: Hans was very attentive to you.

CHARLOTTE: I think he kind of liked me...Is that so hard to imagine?

BOB: No, its easy.

CHARLOTTE: How'd a Japanese guy get a name like Hans?

BOB: I don't know.

CHARLOTTE: Hey look, it's Sausalito.

BOB: I see them every morning.

BOB: Yeah, I'm going to take a shower and I'll meet you downstairs.

CHARLOTTE: OK, see you downstairs.

BOB: Of course.

CHARLOTTE: Do you want to have some breakfast?

BOB: Hello?

CHARLOTTE: It's Charlotte.

BOB: Charlotte, who?

CHARLOTTE: Thanks for getting me back in one piece.

CHARLOTTE: I don't want to go home.

BOB: I know. I don't either.

CHARLOTTE: I could cut the ones that are left for you.

BOB: Ok.

CHARLOTTE: What do you feel like singing, Bob?

BOB: No way.

CHARLOTTE: Charlie, this is Bob. Bob Charlie Brown.

BOB: Hi, Charlie.

BOB: A Soul's Search: Finding Your True Calling - are you reading this?

CHARLOTTE: No.

CHARLOTTE: You really are having a mid-life crisis.

BOB: I know, it's stupid.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, hi.

BOB: Hi. Did you have a nice swim?

CHARLOTTE: Yeah. Did you get some sleep?

BOB: No, how about you?

CHARLOTTE: Not really. How long are you here for?

BOB: I'm here for the week.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, good. Do you want to go to a party tonight with me and some friends who live here?

BOB: Ok.

CHARLOTTE: See you later.

CHARLOTTE: Hi again, how's it going?

BOB: Who do I have to fuck to get off this planet?

BOB: What about you? Why are you here?

CHARLOTTE: My husband's here for work-he's a photographer- and I just came along...I'm not really doing anything right now, and we have some friends who live here.

BOB: How long have you been married?

CHARLOTTE: Two years.

BOB: Try twenty-five.

CHARLOTTE: You're probably just having a mid- life crisis. Did you buy a Porche?

BOB: I'm thinking about it.

CHARLOTTE: 25 years... that's a long time... Are you still in love with your wife?

BOB: Yes... I don't know, I don't know her anymore. I don't know if you can be in love with one person the whole time. I was... actually I was in love with her sister first, when I was twenty-one. And one day her sister said to me she wanted to move to Paris, so I said okay, and she said no, she wanted to move to Paris with Francois, and she's still married to him. And I moved in with Lydia... but I always really liked Lydia.

CHARLOTTE: Oh.

BOB: What do you do?

CHARLOTTE: I'm not sure, yet... I graduated last spring.

BOB: What did you study?

CHARLOTTE: Philosophy.

BOB: Oh, what do you do with that?

CHARLOTTE: I don't know, but I can think about it, a lot.

BOB: It takes a while to figure it out. I'm sure you will, though.

CHARLOTTE: Thanks. I'm sure your mid-life crisis will work out,too.

BOB: Thanks.

CHARLOTTE: What are you doing here?

BOB: My wife needs space, I don't know my kids ' birthdays. Everyone wants Tiger Woods, but they could get me, so I'm here doing a whiskey commercial.

WOMAN: My stockings.

BOB: Yes?

WOMAN: Take them.

WOMAN: Mr. Harris?

BOB: Yes?

WOMAN: Do you like massage?

BOB: I don't think so.

WOMAN: Mr. Kazuzo send Premium Fantasy.

WOMAN: Mr. Harris?

BOB: Yes?

WOMAN: Mr. Kazuzo sent me.

BOB: Oh?

WOMAN: Can I enter?

LYDIA: Ok, well, travel safely. See you soon.

BOB: Bye.

LYDIA: I guess she's busy.

BOB: That's ok.

LYDIA: When are you coming home?

BOB: Tomorrow.

LYDIA: Her ballet recital is Saturday, don't forget.

BOB: Ok.

BOB: Hello?

LYDIA: Hello, Bob, it's me.

BOB: Hello?

LYDIA: It's Lydia, your wife.

BOB: I couldn't hear you. How are you?

LYDIA: Fine. Is it going ok?

BOB: It's ok.

LYDIA: Do you want to-

BOB: What?

LYDIA: Do you want to talk to Zoe?

BOB: Yeah.

LYDIA: Zoe, come say hello to your father...

BOB: Hello?

LYDIA: Bob?

BOB: Hi, Lydia.

LYDIA: Is this a bad time?

BOB: Uh, no.

LYDIA: It's really hard to reach you... Did you get the carpet samples? I like the burgundy.

BOB: Ok, whatever you think... I'm lost.

LYDIA: It's just carpet.

BOB: That's not what I'm talking about.

LYDIA: What are you talking about?

BOB: I don't know.

LYDIA: Is there anything I can do?

BOB: I don't know... I want to be more healthy. I want to eat better.

LYDIA: What?

BOB: You know, eat healthier.

LYDIA: Alright?

BOB: Not all that pasta.

LYDIA: Fine.

BOB: Like Japanese food.

LYDIA: Why don't you just stay there, and you can have it everyday.

BOB: Oh, come on.

LYDIA: I have to go, Adam's tormenting Zoe, I'll talk to you later. Are you going to be Ok?

BOB: Yeah, I'll be fine. Bye.

BOB: Yeah, its really different here.

LYDIA: Well, that's good, I have to get the kids off for school. Can I call you in a little while?

BOB: It's four in the morning... I'm going to go to sleep.

LYDIA: Ok, well... I love you.

BOB: I love you, too, good-night, or good- morning .

LYDIA: Good-night.

BOB: Lydia?

LYDIA: Hello, darling.

BOB: Lydia, I went to this great house tonight, this guy designed and built, you would have loved it.

LYDIA: Oh, yeah? I wish I had seen it.

BOB: He was this fashion guy, and there were all these Japanese fashion people- it's a whole other world, and I was talking to these Japanese surfers... He was playing all this great music- I have to find out what it was...

LYDIA: That sounds great can you hold on... What Zoe?

RECEPTION: Hello? Yes?

BOB: Hello, can I have room 5601.

RECEPTION: One moment.

BOB: How do you say "hospital" in Japanese?

RECEPTION: Excuse me?

BOB: Hospital?

RECEPTION: One moment, please.

BOB: Hello?

RECEPTION: Mr. Harris, we have fax for you!

BOB: Ok.

RECEPTION: Do you want I send it to your room?

BOB: Great.

RECEPTION: Thank you, Mr. Harris.

CHARLOTTE: I miss you.

JOHN: It'll just be a few days.

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, I know you have to work the whole time, I'll probably have more fun here. I'll call Charlie and those guys.

JOHN: Ok, definitely call them, I'll be back Friday. I love you.

JOHN: Are you sure you want to stay?

CHARLOTTE: Are you sure you have to go?

JOHN: Oh, the record company sent these...

CHARLOTTE: Mmm, I love Cristal, let's have some.

JOHN: I gotta go... and I don't really like champagne.

JOHN: A Soul's Search: Finding Your True Character and calling? Is this yours?

CHARLOTTE: Oh... that's nothing, someone gave it to me.

JOHN: You don't have to be embarrassed.

CHARLOTTE: I'm not. It's just corny, but I'm not into it.

JOHN: It's ok if you are.

JOHN: Will you please stop smoking?

CHARLOTTE: But I like to... and I don't smoke that much.

JOHN: Its bad for you.

CHARLOTTE: Ok, I will... later.

CHARLOTTE: Do you think it's done?

JOHN: I don't know.

CHARLOTTE: Yeah.

JOHN: Yeah, I think you're probably right... because when you try to...

JOHN: See you later.

CHARLOTTE: Bye.

CHARLOTTE: Hair stuff?

JOHN: I gotta go to work.

CHARLOTTE: Like popcorn?

JOHN: I got some hair stuff.

CHARLOTTE: You smell weird.

JOHN: What?

CHARLOTTE: I don't know what to do.

JOHN: That's ok, you'll figure it out.

JOHN: No, what are you talking about.

CHARLOTTE: I went to a temple today and I didn't feel anything.

JOHN: That's ok.

JOHN: I gotta go meet Kelly for a drink downstairs. She wants to talk about some photo thing.

CHARLOTTE: Ok. Maybe I'll walk down with you.

JOHN: You wanna come?

CHARLOTTE: Sure.

JOHN: Ok.

CHARLOTTE: How'd it go today?

JOHN: Good...I'm tired.

JOHN: Its just a pseudonym, it doesn't matter.

CHARLOTTE: Why do you have to defend her?

JOHN: I'm not, but do you have to point out how stupid everyone is.

CHARLOTTE: No, I thought it was funny. Forget it.

CHARLOTTE: Evelyn Waugh?

JOHN: What?

CHARLOTTE: Evelyn Waugh was a man.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, it's nothing... I better go, I'll talk to you later.

LAUREN: Ok, have fun there, you're so lucky you don't have any kids yet and you can go off to Japan... call me when you get back.

CHARLOTTE: Ok, bye.

LAUREN: Oh, wait, can you hold on one sec?

CHARLOTTE: Sure.

CHARLOTTE: Lauren?

LAUREN: Charlotte?! How's Tokyo?

CHARLOTTE: It's cool... but,I don't know... I went to a shrine today and all these little monk's were chanting... and, I didn't feel anything... I even tried ikebana, ... and John's using hair products... I don't know who I.

JOHN: Oh no...

KELLY: ...Well, I have the worst headache, I have to go find some aspirin. But, call me, let's have a drink, I'm under Evelyn Waugh.

JOHN: Uh..thanks.

KELLY: Sorry if I have the worst B.O., I've been sweating in this little room with T.V. lights for hours...

KELLY: ...doing like twenty million interviews a day... It's soo good to see you. How long are you here for?

JOHN: We're here for the week. I'm shooting in Osaka for a few days.

KELLY: It's amazing there!

JOHN: Have you met Charlotte? My wife.

KELLY: No! Hi! So great to meet you!

KELLY: John! What are you doing here?

JOHN: I'm just here shooting this band, what about you?

KELLY: Promoting that action movie I did...