The Truman Show

AGENT: I'm sorry to keep you. How can I help?

TRUMAN: I want to book a flight to Fiji.

AGENT: Where exactly?

TRUMAN: Fiji.

AGENT: Where in Fiji? What island?

TRUMAN: I'm sorry, er...the biggest one.

AGENT: Viti Levu. For how many?

TRUMAN: One.

AGENT: When do you want to leave, remembering, of course, you do lose a day on the way there?

TRUMAN: Today.

AGENT: I'm sorry. I don't have anything for at least a month.

TRUMAN: A month.

AGENT: It's the busy season.

TRUMAN: You are a travel agent, aren't you? "Doris"? Your job is to help people travel.

AGENT: I do have a fabulous rate on a cruise ship departing for Fiji tomorrow. But you wouldn't want to do that.

TRUMAN: Why wouldn't I?

AGENT: I thought you were in a hurry.

TRUMAN: That's right.

AGENT: You want to book the flight?

TRUMAN: It doesn't matter. I'll make other arrangements.

SIMEON: He doesn't care.

CHRISTOF: Do it!

CHRISTOF: Cue music...

SIMEON: What music?

CHRISTOF: Storm music...Wagner...

CHRISTOF: We're not watching the sea.

SIMEON: Why would we--

CHRISTOF: Sweep the harbor.

SIMEON: I'm sure we'll get him on this next sweep.

CHRISTOF: What have we missed?

SIMEON: It's just a matter of time.

SIMEON: We've declared a curfew. Everyone else is at first positions.

CHRISTOF: All prop cars accounted for?

SIMEON: He has to be on foot. He has the world's most recognizable face. He can't disappear.

CHRISTOF: Give me a shot from Truman's ring.

SIMEON: He gave it back to his father.

CHRISTOF: What happened down there?

SIMEON: He was tidying up his garbage. I was going to call you. But half-way through, he gave up and fell asleep.

CHRISTOF: Why is he in the basement?

SIMEON: He moved down there after Meryl packed up and left.

CHRISTOF: Why wasn't I told? Any unpredictable behavior has to be reported. Is that the best shot we can get?

SIMEON: What's to see?

CHRISTOF: What's on the ClockCam?

SIMEON: Close up?

CHRISTOF: No, hold back...

CHRISTOF: We've learnt about life as Truman has and, despite the complaints of a minority, it's been an overwhelmingly positive experience, for Truman and for the viewing public.

INTERVIEWER: Let's take another call. London, England, you're on "Tru Talk."

INTERVIEWER: You've never actually met Truman, yourself. Never thought about doing a cameo--playing a veterinarian, or a priest, something like that?

CHRISTOF: I've been tempted. But I think it's important to retain objectivity. I wouldn't want to get emotionally caught up.

INTERVIEWER: The Hague for Christof...The Hague?...lost them. Hollywood, California, you're on "Tru Talk."

INTERVIEWER: Why do you feel that Truman's never come close to discovering the true nature of his world?

CHRISTOF: We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented. As the show expanded, naturally we were forced to manufacture ways to keep Truman in Seahaven - demonstrating that every venture is accompanied by a risk.

CHRISTOF: He was curious from birth - premature by two weeks, as if he couldn't wait to get started.

INTERVIEWER: Of course, his eagerness to leave his mother's womb also meant he was the one selected.

CHRISTOF: In competition with five other unwanted pregnancies - the casting of a show determined by an air date - he was the one who arrived on cue.

INTERVIEWER: Who knew that a show originally meant to last one year - "Bringing Up Baby" - would turn into a "cradle to grave" concept. He is in fact the first child in the world to be legally adopted by a corporation.

CHRISTOF: That's correct.

INTERVIEWER: And the show now generates a yearly income equivalent to the gross national product of a small country.

CHRISTOF: People forget it takes the population of an entire country to keep the show running.

INTERVIEWER: No, of course not. And since the show runs 24 hours a day with no commercial breaks the staggering profits are all generated from product placement.

CHRISTOF: Yes, everything you see on the show is for sale - from the actors' wardrobe, food products, to the very homes they live in--

INTERVIEWER: All products carefully chosen and tested by you for quality and aesthetic value.

CHRISTOF: There's nothing on the show I don't use myself.

INTERVIEWER: And it's all available in the "Truman" Show" catalogue. Operators are standing by.

INTERVIEWER: We should remind viewers that Truman, especially as a child, presented a challenge for the production.

CHRISTOF: Let me demonstrate some examples.

INTERVIEWER: Are we talking Emmies?

CHRISTOF: Certainly a nomination.

INTERVIEWER: Of course, Truman has always been very much in on casting.

CHRISTOF: As with our own lives, the only people he can't cast are his family. Otherwise he has final approval, able to elevate an extra into a lead role as was the case with his only real friend, Marlon, or alternatively relegate a star to a bit player.

INTERVIEWER: Istanbul, Turkey, you're on with master videographer, Christof.

CHRISTOF: Not only does he give us a glimpse of the truth, he gives us a glimpse of ourselves.

INTERVIEWER: But how do you account for the popularity of those eight hours a day when Truman sleeps?

CHRISTOF: We find many viewers leave him on all night for comfort. Haven't you ever watched your child or your lover sleep?

INTERVIEWER: Let's go to some of those viewers' calls.

CHRISTOF: We've become tired of watching actors give us phony emotions, bored with pyrotechnics and special effects. While the world he inhabits is counterfeit, there's nothing fake about Truman himself. No scripts, no cue cards. It's not always Shakespeare but it's genuine. That's how he can support an entire channel.

INTERVIEWER: A window onto the human condition?

CHRISTOF: I prefer to think of it as a mirror.

INTERVIEWER: Let's talk ratings. "Truman" has always enjoyed top ten status but the huge surge over the last few days--how do you hope to sustain that audience now that Truman appears to have reconciled himself?

CHRISTOF: As you know ratings have never been our primary goal. I imagine we'll lose those voyeurs only interested in witnessing Truman's latest torment. However, I'm certain that our core audience will remain loyal.

INTERVIEWER: But recent events have been so dramatic, it does raise the perennial question. What keeps us watching this one man twenty-four hours a day - eating, sleeping, working, sitting for hours in contemplation?

CHRISTOF: It has to be the reality.

INTERVIEWER: Of course, there hasn't been anything to compare with this - the first time an intruder has been a former cast member--

CHRISTOF: --a dead one at that.

INTERVIEWER: --and certainly the first time that an intruder has been rewarded with a starring role. I really must congratulate you on writing Kirk back in. A master stroke.

CHRISTOF: Since Kirk started this whole crisis in Truman's life, I came to the conclusion that he was the only one who could end it.

INTERVIEWER: I understand he's hardly had a life of his own since he left the show. How did you convince him--was it the opportunity to be close to Truman again?

CHRISTOF: That and a fat, new contract.

INTERVIEWER: How do you intend to explain his twenty- two year absence?

CHRISTOF: Amnesia.

INTERVIEWER: Of course.

INTERVIEWER: Welcome.

CHRISTOF: Thank you.

INTERVIEWER: The catalyst for the recent dramatic events was of course Truman's father, Kirk, and his infiltration onto the show. Before we discuss that, it's worth reminding viewers that this isn't the first time someone from the outside world has tried to reach Truman.

CHRISTOF: We have had our close calls in the past.

TRUMAN: I have a map.

CHRISTOF: Truman, I've watched you your whole life. I saw you take your first step, your first word, your first kiss. I know you better than you know yourself. You're not going to walk out that door--

TRUMAN: --You never had a camera in my head.

TRUMAN: Nothing was real.

CHRISTOF: You were real. That's what made you you so good to watch.

TRUMAN: The creator of what?

CHRISTOF: A show - that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.

TRUMAN: A show. Then who am I?

CHRISTOF: You're the star.

TRUMAN: Who are you?

CHRISTOF: I'm the creator.

DAUGHTER: But why didn't he just follow her to Fiji?

MOTHER: Because his mother got sick - very sick. He couldn't leave her. He's a kind boy, maybe too kind.

DAUGHTER: I can't believe he married Meryl on the rebound.

DAUGHTER: What's he doing?

MOTHER: They removed all physical trace of her but they couldn't erase the memory.

DAUGHTER: The memory of who?

MOTHER: Shhh!

GUARD 1: How can they have a child?

GUARD 2: It's not gonna be his, you idiot.

GUARD 1: Why not?

GUARD 2: You think she'd go through with it?

GUARD 1: Sure she would.

GUARD 2: Guess I always thought they'd adopt.

LAUREN: It's beautiful! What are you waiting for?

TRUMAN: I...I can't.

LAUREN: Well, what do you want to do?

TRUMAN: I think I've studied enough.

TRUMAN: Actually, I'm free Sunday.

LAUREN: Now.

TRUMAN: Right now? We've got finals tomorrow.

LAUREN: If we don't go now, it won't happen.

LAUREN: No...I, er.

TRUMAN: No? Really? Good, I mean, I thought possibly a pizza. How about Friday?

LAUREN: No.

TRUMAN: Saturday?

TRUMAN: It's okay. I probably wouldn't talk to me either.

LAUREN: I'm sorry. It's not up to me.

TRUMAN: You have a boyfriend? Of course you do.

TRUMAN: You take Japanese.

LAUREN: Oh, yes.

TRUMAN: Lauren, right?

LAUREN: That's right. Lauren.

TRUMAN: I'm Truman, Truman Burbank--

LAUREN: --I'm not allowed to talk to you.

MARLON: And the last thing I'd ever do is lie to you. Think about it, Truman, if everybody's in on it, I'd have to be in on it too. I'm not in on it, because there is no it.

TRUMAN: So what are you saying, Marlon, the whole thing has been in my head--?

MARLON: Not the whole thing, Truman. You were right about one thing.

TRUMAN: What's that?

MARLON: The thing that started all of this.

TRUMAN: I don't know what to think, Marlon. Maybe I'm going out of my mind, but I get the feeling that the world revolves around me somehow.

MARLON: It's a lot of world for one man. You sure that's not wishful thinking, you wishing you'd made something more of yourself? Christ, Truman, who hasn't sat on the John and had an imaginary interview on "Seahaven Tonight"? Who hasn't wanted to be somebody?

TRUMAN: This is different. Everybody seems to be in on it.

TRUMAN: Stay where you are!

MARLON: Truman? It's me, Marlon. I need to talk to you.

MARLON: What're we doing here, Truman?

TRUMAN: This is where it started.

MARLON: What exactly?

TRUMAN: Things. Things that doesn't fit. Maybe I'm being set up for something. You ever feel like that, Marlon? Like your whole life has been building to something?

MARLON: No.

TRUMAN: When you were hauling chickens for Kaiser Poultry, what was the furthest you ever went off the island?

MARLON: I went all over but I never found a place like this. Look at that sunset, Truman. It's perfect.

TRUMAN: Yeah...

MARLON: That's the "Big Guy". Quite a paintbrush he's got.

TRUMAN: Just between you and me, Marlon, I'm going away for a while.

MARLON: Really?

TRUMAN: I've got to talk to you.

MARLON: Sorry, I'm way behind.

TRUMAN: I'm onto something, Marlon - something big.

MARLON: Are you okay? You look like shit.

TRUMAN: I think I'm mixed up in something.

MARLON: Mixed up? Mixed up in what?

TRUMAN: There's no point in trying to explain it, but a lot of strange things have been happening - elevators that don't go anywhere, people talking about me on the radio, you know what I mean?

MARLON: No. Truman, if this is another one of your fantasies...

TRUMAN: I think it's got something to do with my dad.

MARLON: Your Dad?!

TRUMAN: I think he's alive. I'll tell you about it later. I'm definitely being followed.

MARLON: Who?

TRUMAN: It's hard to tell. They look just like regular people.

MARLON: How about them?

TRUMAN: Could be. Beard looks phony. It's when I'm unpredictable. They can't stand that. That's why we've got to get out of here. Can you come with me?

MARLON: I told you I can't.

TRUMAN: I've got to show you something.

TRUMAN: Marlon--

MARLON: --Truman, what are you doing here?

TRUMAN: You really think it could've dropped off an airliner?

MARLON: Sure. It's halogen. Shame it didn't hit you - you could've sued. You coming for a drink?

TRUMAN: I can't tonight.

MARLON: Truman, you know, I did think about moving away one time.

TRUMAN: Yeah, what happened?

MARLON: I figured, what's the point? I knew I'd just be taking my problems with me. Once the kids came along, it made me look at Seahaven with new eyes. I realized, what the hell could be better than this? I'm telling you. What you really need is someone to carry on the "Burbank" name.

TRUMAN: You think so?

MARLON: Trust me.

TRUMAN: See here, this is us. All the way round here, Fiji. You can't get any further away before you start coming back. Y'know, there are still islands in Fiji where no human has ever set foot.

MARLON: So when are you leaving?

TRUMAN: It's not that simple. Takes money, planning. You can't just up and go. Oh, I'm going to do it, don't worry about that. I've just got to move slow. Pick my moment. Bonus time's just around the corner. Soon as I finish the...

MARLON: Nursery?

TRUMAN: Spare room - I can start thinking about selling up...and I'll be gone. Up and away on that big steel bird. I'm going, don't you worry about that.

TRUMAN: I'm thinking of getting out, Marlon.

MARLON: Yeah? Outta what?

TRUMAN: Outta my job, outta Seahaven, off this island...out!

TRUMAN: --What are my plans now? Well, next I'm thinking of tackling the Yuba River in an authentic canoe from the Algonquin tribe. --I'm talking about the north fork, a class five rapid - only I'm not going down the Yuba, I'm going up. Do you honestly think for one minute I'd go back to some dreary office to rubber stamp meaningless documents...do you?

MERYL: --Truman, you're gonna be late!

TRUMAN: Who were you talking to?!

MERYL: You're the one talking to the walls!

TRUMAN: No. You said, "Do something." Who were you talking to? Tell me!

MERYL: Truman, stop it!

TRUMAN: Stop this now. I'll do it. I swear.

MERYL: Do something...

TRUMAN: What the hell has that got to do with anything? Tell me what's happening?!

MERYL: You're having a nervous breakdown, that's what's happening.

TRUMAN: You're part of this, aren't you?!

MERYL: Why don't I make you some of this new Mococoa Drink? All natural. Cocoa beans from the upper slopes of Mount Nicaragua. No artificial sweeteners--

TRUMAN: --What the hell are you talking about?!

MERYL: I've tasted other cocoas. This is the best.

MERYL: Let me get you some help, Truman. You're not well.

TRUMAN: Why do you want to have a child with me? You can't stand me.

MERYL: That's not true.

MERYL: So what do we do for money when we get to New Orleans?

TRUMAN: I've got my Seahaven Bankcard.

MERYL: So we just eat into our savings, is that the idea? I'd better call your mother when we get there. She'll be worried sick - I don't know how she's going to take this.

MERYL: Truman, what about that sign?

TRUMAN: I'm sure they're just exaggerating.

MERYL: Truman, I took the "hypocrite" oath!

TRUMAN: I bet you did.

TRUMAN: It's hard to go places, isn't it?

MERYL: There's been an accident, Truman.

TRUMAN: Uhuh. There's no accident. It's just more stalling.

MERYL: Truman, that was our house!

TRUMAN: I've changed my mind again. What's New Orleans like this time of year? Mardi Gras. Or let's just see where the road takes us.

MERYL: Let me out, Truman. You're not right in the head. You want to destroy yourself, you do it on your own!

TRUMAN: I think I'd like a little company.

TRUMAN: Blocked at every turn. Beautifully synchronized, don't you agree?

MERYL: You blaming me for the traffic?

TRUMAN: Should I?

TRUMAN: Where shall we go? Where shall we go? Spontaneity is what it's all about. Forget Fiji. We can't very well drive to Fiji, can we? What about Atlantic City?

MERYL: You hate gambling.

TRUMAN: That's right. I do, don't I?

MERYL: So why do you want to go?

TRUMAN: Because I never have. That's why you go places, isn't it?

MERYL: Truman, I think I'm going to throw up.

TRUMAN: Let's go now.

MERYL: What?!

MERYL: I invited Marlon and Rita for a barbeque Sunday. I thought I'd make my potato salad. Remind me--

TRUMAN: I won't be here Sunday.

MERYL: --we need more charcoal.

TRUMAN: Are you listening to a word I'm saying?

MERYL: You're upset because you want to go to Fiji. Is that it?

TRUMAN: Arrah!

MERYL: Oh, my God!

TRUMAN: What do I do?

MERYL: I don't know--

TRUMAN: --you're a nurse, aren't you?

MERYL: Put some butter on it--or ice?

TRUMAN: I have to talk with you. But not here. Let's go for a walk.

MERYL: I'm sorry, I'm late.

TRUMAN: What's the hurry?

MERYL: Surgery. The elevator disaster downtown on the news last night. Cable snapped, a car dropped ten floors. Non-union contractors. Monsters. We're starting with an amputation.

MERYL: I'll take you home, Angela. Why don't you leave those with us for a while?

TRUMAN: Good night, Mother.

MERYL: See you in a minute, sweetheart.

MERYL: Come on, Truman. Haven't you studied enough?

TRUMAN: I still want to look over a couple of things.

TRUMAN: What did you want?

MERYL: I made macaroni.

TRUMAN: I'm not hungry.

MERYL: What're you doing down here?

TRUMAN: Fixing the mower. I saw my father today.

MERYL: I know.

TRUMAN: How do you know?

MERYL: Your mother called. You shouldn't upset her like that.

MERYL: This'll pass. Everybody thinks like this now and then. Come to bed.

TRUMAN: I think I'm going to stay up for a while.

TRUMAN: It'd be an adventure.

MERYL: I thought we were going to try for a baby. Isn't that enough of an adventure?

TRUMAN: That can wait. I want to get away. See some of the world. Explore.

MERYL: Where have you been?

TRUMAN: I've been thinking--

MERYL: Oh, God.

TRUMAN: --I figure we could scrape together eight thousand.

MERYL: Every time you and Marlon--

TRUMAN: --We could bum around the world for a year on that.

MERYL: And then what, Truman? We'd be back to where we were five years ago. You're talking like a teenager.

TRUMAN: Maybe I feel like a teenager.

MERYL: We're mortgaged to the eyeballs, Truman. There's the car payments. Are we just going to walk away from our financial obligations?

MERYL: I was hoping we could have a special evening.

TRUMAN: I won't be late.

MERYL: Did something happen today?

TRUMAN: How did it go today?

MERYL: A man tripped and fell on a chainsaw. We got three of his fingers back on.

MERYL: Hi, honey. Look at this. It's a "Chef's-Mate." Dicer, slicer and peeler in one. Never needs sharpening. Dishwasher safe.

TRUMAN: Gee, that's great.

MERYL: Well, what do you think?

TRUMAN: They're... perfect. Thank you.

TRUMAN: What's that?

MERYL: It's a surprise.

TRUMAN: ...personally I think the unconquered south face is the only one worth scaling...of course it's a 20,000 foot sheer wall of ice but then when did that ever stop me before?...Naturally, I intend to make the ascent without the benefit of oxygen but also without crampons or even an ice pick...risks?... ...sure I'm aware of the risks--why else do you think I would spend seven years as an adjuster in a life insurance company...?

MERYL: Truman, you're gonna be late!

TRUMAN: We ought to be getting you back, Mother.

MOTHER: Hold on a minute, dear. Here's us at Mount Rushmore. You remember, Truman--when Dad was still with us - that was quite a drive. You slept all the way there.

TRUMAN: It looks so small.

MOTHER: Things always do--when you look back.

MOTHER: It doesn't sound insane, Truman. I swear I see him ten times a week--in a hundred faces. I almost hugged a perfect stranger in the salon last Thursday.

TRUMAN: It was Dad, I swear, dressed like a homeless man. And you know what else was really strange? A businessman and a woman with a little dog appeared from nowhere and forced him onto a bus.

MOTHER: About time they started cleaning up the trash Downtown. We don't want to end up like the rest of the country.

TRUMAN: They never found Dad's body--maybe somehow--

MOTHER: --Darling--

TRUMAN: I'm telling you, if it wasn't him, it was his twin. Did Dad have a brother?

MOTHER: You know he was an only child, like you. I know how bad you feel about what happened--sailing into that storm. But I don't blame you, Truman. I never have.

MOTHER: You look very pale, Truman. Are you taking your vitamin D's?

TRUMAN: I spend half my life out in the sun, Mother, why would I need vitamin D?

MOTHER: I feel certain my condition runs in the family. Can't this wait, dear?

MOTHER: You know surprises aren't good for me. You should really call before you come over, dear.

TRUMAN: I've got something to tell you. You'd better sit down.

TRUMAN: How are you, Mother?

MOTHER: Well, I made it through another night.

TRUMAN: How's your hip?

MOTHER: Oh, just so.

TRUMAN: I'm looking for my wife--Nurse Burbank. It's important.

NURSE: I'm afraid that's impossible--she's in pre-op.

TRUMAN: Sure. Okay. Fine. Can you pass on a message?

NURSE: I'll try.

TRUMAN: Tell her, tell her...I had to go to Fiji. I'll call her when I get there.

NURSE: When you get to Fiji?

TRUMAN: You got it.

NURSE: Fine. I'll tell her.

TRUMAN: Now what?

OFFICER: Leak at the plant. They had to shut her down.

TRUMAN: Is there any way around?

OFFICER: The whole area's being evacuated.

TRUMAN: Well, thank you for your help.

OFFICER: You're welcome, Truman.

SYLVIA: They're coming. Any minute.

TRUMAN: Who?

SYLVIA: They're going to stop me talking to you.

TRUMAN: There's no one here.

SYLVIA: Just listen. You remember when you were a little boy, you stood up in class and said you wanted to be an explorer like Magellan--

TRUMAN: --How do you know about that?

SYLVIA: --And your teacher said, "You're too late, Truman. There's nothing left to explore."

TRUMAN: Were you there--how do you know?

SYLVIA: --It doesn't matter. Everybody knows about it. They know everything you do. The point is, you got scared.

TRUMAN: I don't understand.

SYLVIA: You must listen. Everybody's pretending, Truman.

TYRONE: See you tomorrow, Truman.

TRUMAN: You can count on it.

TYRONE: How's it going, Truman?

TRUMAN: Not bad. I just won the State Lottery.

TYRONE: Good. Good.

TRUMAN: Tyrone, what if I said I didn't want meatball today?

TYRONE: I'd ask for identification.