The Deer Hunter

JOHN: Sweet! Oh, that is sweet!

ALBERT: Hey! Fuckin' A! Just... just like a hot shit... except cold.

JOHN: Here's to huntin'.

ALBERT: Hey! Fuckin' A!

JOHN: Yes, Albert?

ALBERT: John,we're going huntin'.

JOHN: Who's going?

ALBERT: We're all going.

JOHN: Nick's going?

ALBERT: Nick, Vince, Albert and John.

JOHN: No women?

JOHN: Here. Here we go. Here's to you, Nick!

ALBERT: Fuckin' A!

ALBERT: Maxie! Hey Maxie wha'd'ya say!

JOHN: Hey Geraldine, let's eat!

JOHN: I'll get the boots.

ALBERT: Get the boots.

JOHN: I mean let's get going before --

JOHN: That's mustard!

ALBERT: What?

JOHN: You just put mustard on your Hershey bar.

ALBERT: Good... Pass the beer.

ALBERT: Fuel up. Need fuel.

JOHN: Those are mine!

ALBERT: You want 'em?

JOHN: Damn right!

ALBERT: Gimme a Hostess Twinkie, Merle.

JOHN: She fucked us both.

ALBERT: Yeah.

JOHN: Fucking women, man...

ALBERT: I know...

ALBERT: She fucked you?

JOHN: She fucked me.

ALBERT: She fucked me too.

JOHN: She fucked you?

ALBERT: She fucked me too.

ALBERT: You're full of shit, Vince! You're so full of shit you're going to float away!

VINCE: Who? Who is?

ALBERT: You, Vince! You! You are! You're a crock! You're a walking, talking crock!... I mean, what do you know?

VINCE: I know! I fuckin' know!

ALBERT: You don't!

VINCE: I do!!!

ALBERT: I'm tellin' you she does it, Vince! With twenty guys you know!

VINCE: She does not!

ALBERT: Then what's the gun for! What's this for?

VINCE: In case!!! The gun's in case!!!

ALBERT: In case???!!! In case of what? In case you stumble on her, suckin' cock in the front fucking hall?!

VINCE: She might!!! She might do it, Albert, but you can't fuckin' tell me that she does!!!

ALBERT: She does, Vince! That's what I'm telling you! She does!!!

VINCE: Let's go!!!

ALBERT: Hey! Fuckin' A! Time to roll!!!

VINCE: Hey, Nick, I mean... This here is for the guy that gets caught!

ALBERT: Vince thinks... you know...

ALBERT: Tell him, Vince!

VINCE: Well... you remember Cynthia?

VINCE: Fuckin' guy's been shooting slants, Albert! I mean, what do you think?

ALBERT: I know, but...

VINCE: What do you think? You think he's been picking flowers? Fuckin' guy's been saving your ass, Albert. Everybody's ass! Even in Europe!

ALBERT: Yeah. Oh, boy, yeah... Jes', you must be tired.

VINCE: Where the hell were you? We were all set -- beer, broads. Right? Am I right?

ALBERT: Yeah.

VINCE: What the --!

ALBERT: It's Nick!

VINCE: Nick...? Jesus, Nick!

VINCE: It's gotta be the next one. I mean it's gotta be! Right, Albert?

ALBERT: Fuckin' A. It's gotta!

VINCE: It's gotta!

ALBERT: I thought that was it.

VINCE: So he's in the next one, Albert. I mean take it easy. I mean you're driving everybody nuts!

VINCE: This is it. Definitely. This is it, but they changed it.

ALBERT: You're full of shit.

VINCE: Who's full of shit?

ALBERT: You're full of shit!

VINCE: I'm telling you, they changed it!

ALBERT: They did not!

VINCE: They did too!

ALBERT: Jesus, it's freezing!

ALBERT: It is not!

VINCE: It is too! Now you passed it!

ALBERT: Ammo! Get the ammo!

VINCE: I'll get it! Where is it?

VINCE: And we want you to know, Sal, that any help you might need--

ALBERT: Yeah, Sal--

ALBERT: Damn right!

VINCE: What do you think, Sal? Jesus, you think we'd miss this?

ALBERT: Nick! Nick, you'll kill him!... Easy. Nick, easy! Hey, hey. Vince goes back a long way.

NICK: Yeah.

ALBERT: He's real bad, Nick.

NICK: Well, where the hell is he!!! I mean what are we all sitting here for!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???

ALBERT: Nick...

ALBERT: Fucking A.

NICK: Worse since she talked to who?

ALBERT: He's serious. Vince is fuckin' serious!

NICK: You mean...?

ALBERT: Look who's talkin'! Jes'! He got married! Vince got married!

NICK: Married?

ALBERT: Tell him, Vince.

NICK: I got delayed. I --

ALBERT: Hey, Nick! God damn!... What've you been doin', I mean...

NICK: Whee-uu!

ALBERT: Jesus!

ALBERT: That's new, isn't it?

NICK: Couple of weeks... Listen --

ALBERT: I love this car. Some cars sit, you know? This car, a car like this... grows. I mean you never know, with a car like this, where this car has been.

NICK: Albert! For Christ's sake... John! Wait a minute, you guys!

ALBERT: It won't open.

NICK: You gotta hit it here. Here, Albert, not there.

ALBERT: Where should I hit it? Just show me where I should hit it.

NICK: Here. Hit it here.

ANGELA: Did you ever think life would turn out like this?

NICK: No.

ANGELA: You know what Sal's got now?... Sal's got... one arm, Nick, and... that's it.

ANGELA: You're back.

NICK: Yeah.

ANGELA: I'm glad. Seriously... I'm very glad.

NICK: Angela, I just heard Sal was alive.

ANGELA: Sure. Why not.

NICK: Where? Where is he?

ANGELA: Nick, he's fine. He's in a hospital and they're fixing him up.

NICK: You talk to him?

ANGELA: Oh, sure... Twice a day.

NICK: What hospital is he in? Where?

ANGELA: Nick... Sal is very weak. He suffered a severe wound... and right now he doesn't want a whole lot of people to get involved in a whole thing.

NICK: Hey, Angela, Sal and I go back a long way.

ANGELA: He doesn't want people bugging him, Nick!

ARMAND: C'est tres amusant... You have been promoted. And to a Jew... I am joking of course. Naturellement. Seriously, Nick, may I hope that you have come to play?

NICK: I came to see Merle.

ARMAND: Ah. Merle. And you know Merle?

NICK: Yeah.

ARMAND: You are his friend.

NICK: Where is he???

ARMAND: Merle is under his tree... Beside the terrace. You can't miss him.

NICK: See, I'm going home.

ARMAND: Ah yes. Of course. To the girl who waits.

NICK: Yeah... Do you mind if I sit?

ARMAND: But of course! Please make yourself comfortable. Perhaps you would enjoy some fresh caviar, or une petite glace, or --?

NICK: No. None of that.

ARMAND: Unfortunately I must now go in, but I leave you my card. Naturellement I pay my players cash American. Just so you know.

NICK: I have to go.

ARMAND: But you must come in.

NICK: No, I --

ARMAND: But I insist.

NICK: I have to go.

ARMAND: You are frightened, no?

BAR GIRL: Wait! First I give you special fuck!

NICK: Elephants! Make way... I gotta get elephants!

BAR GIRL: You like to call me Linda now?

NICK: Linda, yeah.

BAR GIRL: You call me Linda, just like home.

NICK: I love Linda, see. I love Linda more than I can even say.

BAR GIRL: Everybody love Linda.

NICK: That's right. That's exactly what I mean!

BAR GIRL: I love Linda. Myself, I love Linda so much!

NICK: Only,good people love Linda, see. What Linda has, Linda --

BAR GIRL: How you like to have nice fuck with Linda? You like that? Special, crazy fuck just like with Linda?

NICK: You mean...?

BAR GIRL: I show you. Come. You come. Linda have special, crazy fuck. That right?

CHECKER: She's in back.

NICK: Thanks.

CHECKER: How was huntin'?

NICK: Oh. Fine.

CHECKER: Get anything?

NICK: No.

CHECKER: Too bad.

COLONEL: Boy, do I love this conflict. Huh?... What the hell were you doin' in there?

NICK: You know a guy named Merle?

COLONEL: Merle? That's who we're looking for. Merle.

NICK: Yeah?

COLONEL: Sure! I got eight hundred potatoes says he goes one more... He retired, you know.

NICK: Yeah?

COLONEL: Now he's back.

COLONEL: Those fuckin' niggers. This time I'm going to eat balls!... You ever try 'em?

NICK: Naw.

COLONEL: Not bad fresh, but they don't keep worth a pig's fart.

VINCE: Where's it gone?

JOHN: Inside, Vince.

VINCE: 'Course how could you miss, right? Twenty, maybe thirty feet. I mean, if I'd'a been where you guys were --

JOHN: Psst. Vince!

VINCE: Hey, Nick...

JOHN: Nick, we don't know where Sal is... Nick, Angela won't tell us.

JOHN: Vince. Hey, you guys --

VINCE: Take last night...! Last night he coulda had twenty fuckin' deer! More! He coulda had more! And look what he does! I mean look what he fuckin' does!!!

JOHN: Vince!!!

JOHN: Holy shit!

VINCE: Merle, hey Merle, you got any socks?

VINCE: Get 'em! For Christ sake, get 'em!

JOHN: Who's got the ammo?

VINCE: Look at that, see... Watch. Wait a minute, watch. There! D'j'u see that? D'j'u see the way he... You know what that guy is doing? That guy is squeezing her ass!

JOHN: Oh, well...

VINCE: Oh well! What do you mean Oh well?! The guy is actually... He did it again! That's what he's doing... He... He's reaching in, John, to her --! I'll kill him! I'm gonna kill him right now.

VINCE: Hey, guys...

JOHN: Shhh! Albert's gonna hump the Coup de Ville.

NICK: Why?... What do you mean?... Why???

JOHN: Nick, she won't say why.

NICK: But Sal's mother! What about Sal's mother!

JOHN: She's out of her tree, Nick. She is straight out of her tree.

NICK: Oh, Jesus.

JOHN: Sal.

NICK: Talked to Sal? Sal's alive?

JOHN: Kind of. You didn't know?

NICK: Sal's alive???

JOHN: Rough, huh?

NICK: Rough. We didn't have to do it, John.

JOHN: No?

NICK: No. How's Angela? How's she taking it?

JOHN: Not so good.

NICK: No?

JOHN: Worse since she talked to him.

JOHN: Nick! Hey, Nick! Boy! Boy oh boy! Are you okay? You're okay, huh?

NICK: Fine. Hey, I'm fine.

JOHN: Sit down. Here. Right here. Albert! Vince!

LIEUTENANT: Please! Please mister, please! This is vital I go to Saigon. This is very important. Most important.

NICK: Listen, Biederman, I'm going to club you into the floor unless you tell me what the fuck is so important.

LIEUTENANT: That I must not tell you. Top secret. You see there. Topmost secret.

NICK: Biederman!

LIEUTENANT: I will not betray my country. No. Ne-ver!

NICK: Biederman! Where's Biederman!

LIEUTENANT: Here.

NICK: You Biederman?

LIEUTENANT: Biederman, yes.

NICK: I got you on this flight, Biederman. Is that right?

LINDA: I'm just so lonely.

NICK: C'mon. I've got the car.

LINDA: I'll be out... Just leave me. I'll be out. I'm fine. Really. I'm fine.

NICK: Linda... Honey, what's wrong?

LINDA: I don't know.

NICK: Hey. Look. There must be something.

NICK: Yeah... All the guys, we're all going huntin'. Like we did. You know? Like we always used to.

LINDA: That's wonderful. I think you should... fresh air.

LINDA: What are you doing?

NICK: Oh. Nothing... Sitting.

LINDA: You're going hunting?

NICK: What?

LINDA: I see you're going hunting.

LINDA: Nick?

NICK: Right here.

LINDA: No-o-o!

NICK: I'll kill 'em. Anybody bothers you, I'll kill 'em!

LINDA: Nick. It's okay... It's okay. I have to go now.

NICK: Does this... I mean, how does this job work out?

LINDA: Oh, it's great. Fine.

LINDA: Nick?... I just want to say how sorry I am about Sal and about Merle. How... I know you loved them and I know it's not the same. I mean now.

NICK: Naw, it's... I mean...

LINDA: Maybe... I don't know, if you want to talk --

NICK: Naw, it's... This guy wants his money.

NICK: How's the trailer?

LINDA: Great. Fine... Once or twice it did fall off the blocks. I don't know what that's from.

NICK: Frost.

LINDA: Is that what it is? I couldn't figure out.

NICK: Did you get hurt? You didn't get hurt?

LINDA: Oh, no. It just kind of goes thump. Would you like a Coke? You don't drink Coke. Or maybe you do. What about champagne? Let's have champagne! I don't think we have champagne. Let's have this. See? Sparkling. I'll get you an opener. Oh, that's right. No opener. Let's just have beer. Do you want some cheese? Or maybe eggs? Maybe we should have coffee.

LINDA: How are you?

NICK: Fine. I'm fine. How are you?

LINDA: Fine. I just go along, you know. Down at the market. Back here. I mean it just seems there's a million things to do!... Are you sure you're all right? I mean, what about the wound?

NICK: That was nothing. That wasn't anything.

LINDA: But --

NICK: It was just the complications. I mean, you take a little thing over there and then you get complications. I mean all the guys had it.

LINDA: I made you a sweater. Here... You have to take that off.

LINDA: I thought... Oh, Nick, I thought you were hurt, some accident. Maybe you fell or maybe some car... I thought someone stole you away!

NICK: No.

LINDA: Oh, Nick! Oh I missed you so!

NICK: Sit with Linda, man, will ya?... Give her a beer. Would you like a beer?

LINDA: Sure.

NICK: What kind of beer would you like?

LINDA: I don't know.

NICK: Give her Miller's. Miller's High Life.

NICK: I don't know what we've been waiting for!

LINDA: I don't know! I don't know either!

LINDA: I was just wondering... Nick... You're going hunting... If I could use this place to stay, because...

NICK: Sure. Are you kidding? Sure.

LINDA: I'd want to pay you... and I was thinking --

NICK: Linda... Hey, Linda...

LINDA: I would want to pay you, Nick... and I was thinking --

NICK: Linda, Linda...!

LINDA: What?

NICK: Will you marry me?

LINDA: Okay.

NICK: Would you?

NICK: Linda...

LINDA: Hi. Nick, your shoes are soaking.

NICK: Linda, what's the matter?

LINDA: Oh... You know...

MAN: How extremely clever. That is really most extraordinaire... Allow me please to introduce myself. I am Armand... And you are?

NICK: Nick.

MAN: You seem... disturbed.

NICK: I... No. You do this for money?

MAN: Mais certainment... A great deal of money. Naturally I do not do it myself. I myself do not possess the nerve. But I am always... how do you say... looking out for those who do... It is a thing quite rare. Champagne perhaps? Tch, tch. Don't say no. When a man says no to champagne, he says no to life and that no man must ever do. Where did you play?

NICK: Up north.

MAN: Ah yes. Of course... So few survive. La creme de la creme... How did you obtain release?

NICK: Playing.

MAN: Playing?

NICK: We... Three bullets.

MAN: And then you...

MERLE: Sal! Sal... Goddamn it, Sal, don't you know anything?

SAL: Where are we going, Merle? Are we going home?

MERLE: Sure. Sure, Sal. We're going home.

SAL: Where are we going, Merle? Are we going home?

MERLE: Right here.

SAL: Merle?

MERLE: Right here.

MERLE: You can do it, Sal.

SAL: No. No, no.

MERLE: Sal... listen to me, Sal! You have to do it.

SAL: I want to go home, Merle.

MERLE: You have to think about this, Sal. Listen to me, Sal! You have to think about this.

SAL: This is horrible!

MERLE: Listen to me, Sal. If you don't do it they'll put you in the pit. If they put you in the pit, Sal, you're gonna die... Sal, do you understand?

SAL: Merle, I wanna go home!

SAL: Who the hell is he?

MERLE: Who the hell knows!

MERLE: How's Linda?

NICK: Fine. She's fine... Merle, what the hell are you doing?

MERLE: I like it, Nick.

NICK: Merle... Hey, Merle, listen... Why?

NICK: Merle...! Jesus! Hey, how are you?

MERLE: Nick!... I thought you went home.

NICK: I did. I... This is stolen. I came back.

MERLE: Sit down.

NICK: How many bullets?

MERLE: Three bullets -- minimum.

NICK: No way. No fucking way!

MERLE: I'll pick the moment, Nick. The game goes on until I move. When I start shooting, go for the nearest guard and get his gun.

NICK: No. No way!

MERLE: When you get the AK, open up. You got me? Open up.

NICK: YOU'RE CRAZY!!!... NO WAY!... NOW YOU'RE CRAZY!!! YOU'RE COMPLETELY CRAZY!!!

MERLE: We gotta play with more bullets.

NICK: We what?

MERLE: We gotta play with more bullets, Nick. It's the only way.

NICK: More bullets in the gun?

MERLE: More bullets in the gun... The trouble is that still leaves one of us with his hands tied up, so that means we gotta play each other.

NICK: With more bullets?... Against each other?... Are you crazy!!! Are you fucking nuts!!!

MERLE: Nick... NICK!!! It's the only chance we've got!

MERLE: I'm telling you, Nick, no one's going to come.

NICK: What are you, God?

MERLE: Listen, asshole, it's up to us!

NICK: They bombed last night, right? Didn't they bomb? If they bombed last night, they could bomb tonight. They could be up there right now!

MERLE: What are you, hoping?

NICK: What else?

MERLE: I thought you might be praying.

NICK: I'm doing that too.

MERLE: I suppose you wish you were somewhere else?

NICK: What do you think?

MERLE: Nick, you're wasting your time... Listen to me! You're wasting your time! This is no fucking time for hoping or praying or wishing or any other shit! This is it. Here we are... And we gotta get out!

NICK: You're right... Okay, you're right.

MERLE: Get off your ass, Nick. Get off your fucking ass and stand up!!!

NICK: Okay, okay! Okay. Okay, you're right... What about Sal?

MERLE: Forget Sal.

NICK: What do you mean?

MERLE: I mean forget Sal... Sal can't take it, Nick.

NICK: Forget Sal?

MERLE: Forget Sal... Listen to me -- forget Sal! I've been working on Sal since dawn, Nick. Sal's in a dream and he won't come out. LISTEN!!! From here on you gotta go for you. You hear me? For you!

NICK: Merle...

MERLE: LISTEN, NICK! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD OR YOU AND ME ARE BOTH DEAD TOO!

MERLE: Hey, Nick?

NICK: Huh?

MERLE: Tomorrow I go with Vince.

NICK: Hunt with Vince?

MERLE: Yeah... I mean so he knows... He doesn't even know.

MERLE: It's ahead, by the tree.

NICK: It's ahead, Vince.

MERLE: I love this fuckin' place... That sounds crazy. I know that sounds crazy, but I love this fuckin' place... If anything happens, Nick, don't leave me there. I mean it. Don't leave me... You gotta promise, Nick. You gotta promise me that.

NICK: Merle --

MERLE: Promise! You gotta promise!

NICK: You got it.

MERLE: You think we'll ever come back?

NICK: From Nam?

MERLE: Yeah.

NICK: Is he from here?

MERLE: Hell no!

NICK: Well, where's he from?

MERLE: What'd he say?

NICK: Pow.

MERLE: Pow?

NICK: Pow.

MERLE: Oh.

MERLE: Nick, he just came back.

NICK: From Nam?

MERLE: Fucking A. See that ribbon in the left. That's Quan Son. That fucking guy was at Quan Son!

MERLE: You think about it?

NICK: Yeah.

MERLE: So do I. I want to be ready... You have to be ready... It has to be there, in your mind.

NICK: The shot?

MERLE: Fucking A.

NICK: I don't think about the shot that much.

MERLE: You have to think about the shot. It's the shot. The shot's it.

NICK: Yeah... I guess.

MERLE: What do you think about?

NICK: I don't know... I guess I think about the deer... Being out, maybe. I don't know. I think about it all. Hell, I like the trees, you know? I like the ways the trees are, all the different ways the trees are too.

MERLE: I'll tell you something, Nick. I wouldn't hunt with anyone but you. I won't hunt with a yo-yo.

NICK: Yo-yo! Who's a yo-yo?

MERLE: Who's a yo-yo...? Who do you think's a yo-yo! They're all yo yo's. I mean they're all great guys, for Christ's sake, but... The point is, Nick, without you I'd hunt alone. Seriously. I would. That's what I'd do.

NICK: You're a fucking nut. You know that, Merle? You're a fucking maniac!

MERLE: Yeah. When it comes to hunting, that's true.

MERLE: I just wait. You know?

NICK: Huh?

MERLE: I just wait. For this... It's what I wait for... I wait all year.

NICK: So do I.

MERLE: You do?

NICK: Yeah.

MERLE: You should have put that on last night.

NICK: I know.

MERLE: That way it sets.

NICK: Yeah.

NICK: Won't we? Right? Am I right?

MERLE: Right.

NICK: Humper's ready. Old humper's hotter'n damn hell!

MERLE: There's Vince!

VINCE: You're one fuckin' bastard, Merle. You know that? You're one fucking bastard!

MERLE: This is this, Vince. This isn't something else. This is this!

VINCE: You know what I think? There's times I think you're a goddamn faggot!... I fixed you up a million times, Merle! I fixed him up a million times! I don't know how many times I fixed him up... and nothin' ever happens... Zilch! Zero!... The trouble with you, Merle, no one knows what you're talking about! "This is this"? What does that mean, "this is this"? I mean is that some faggot bullshit, or is that some faggot bullshit!!! And if it isn't, what the hell is it???

MERLE: Sure I got boots. I got boots right here.

VINCE: Then lemme have 'em.

MERLE: No.

VINCE: No!!!?

MERLE: No.

VINCE: What do you mean, no???

MERLE: That's it. No. No way.

VINCE: Some fuckin' friend... You're some fuckin' friend, Merle!

MERLE: You gotta learn, Vince! You come out here... You got no jacket, you got no pants, you got no knife and you got no boots. You think everyone's gonna take care of you! That's what you always think, but this time you're wrong. This time you're on your own!

VINCE: Here, here! This is it!

MERLE: Watch it, shithead!

VINCE: Here! This is it!

VINCE: Bullshit! That's bullshit!

MERLE: You wanna bet?

VINCE: I'll betcha! That's bullshit and I'll betcha! You're fulla shit!

MERLE: How much? How much do you wanna bet?

NICK: Oh cards, maybe. Poker... It's getting cold, Sal. I'm going to take you in. We'll call Angela. The guys can help her bring you home... Did I tell you I was going on a trip?

SAL: Trip? What do you mean, Nick? You said you'd be --

NICK: It's okay. Hey, it's okay! Just a week. Just to see Phantom Mary.

SAL: Phantom Mary?

NICK: Didn't I ever tell you about Phantom Mary?

SAL: No.

NICK: Well... Phantom Mary's on my mother's side. Naturally no one there admits it because Phantom Mary's pretty weird... You want to hear the whole story?

SAL: Yeah!

NICK: Like I say, Phantom Mary's pretty weird... Lives alone, lives way out in the middle of nowhere with a cat called Pajamas and a cow called Fred. Well, last week I got a call from Phantom Mary, which in itself was very strange...

NICK: It's Merle, Sal.

SAL: Merle? ... Merle's alive? How do you know?

NICK: I saw him last night. I thought I was dreaming. I thought I was out of my mind.

SAL: Merle gave me this?

NICK: Yeah.

SAL: But, Nick... Hey, I mean, where would a guy like Merle get money like this?

SAL: Maybe you could use socks, Nick. Jesus, I mean, come to think of it socks are pretty expensive now.

NICK: It's not socks, Sal.

SAL: Did you go hunting.

NICK: Yeah.

SAL: Did you get one?

NICK: No.

SAL: You didn't get a deer?

NICK: I tracked this one, a big buck. God, he was such a beauty--! What's this suitcase here?

SAL: Where?

NICK: Here. Behind you.

NICK: Sal, you're gonna die! You're gonna sit in that corner watching soaps and you're gonna die!... I'm not saying it's gonna be the same. It's not gonna be the same, but whatever it's gonna be we're all gonna do it, Sal. God damn it we are! We are gonna do it!

SAL: Nick. I'm so scared. I'm so fuckin' scared to go home.

NICK: I know. It's like coming from the moon. Or Mars.

NICK: Sal, we need you. We need you.

SAL: Hey, Nick. How can you need me?

NICK: We do, Sal. We do... You're the heart.

NICK: Sal? Sal, it's me, Nick.

SAL: Nick. Hey. How's things?

NICK: Oh. You know. How's it with you?

SAL: Same. Hey. Same old stuff.

NICK: What's that noise?

SAL: What?

NICK: What's that noise?

SAL: John Wayne... Listen, Nick --

NICK: Great. Hey. That's great.

SAL: Listen, Nick --

NICK: John Wayne's great... Listen, Sal. Jesus. When are you getting out?

SAL: I'm gonna stay here, Nick.

NICK: What?

SAL: Place is great. Really. One great place... Basketball, bowling. You name it. Canasta. Hearts. Lots of guys are making salad bowls. What I'll do is make a salad bowl for you, unless you'd rather have a pencil holder. The pencil holder's neat, I mean --

NICK: Wait a minute. Sal. Hold it. John Wayne's making so much noise I can hardly --

SAL: I gotta get back, Nick.

NICK: See you Monday.

SAL: See you Monday.

NICK: Don't worry what it says in the book.

SAL: Right.

NICK: Just forget that. Forget what it says in the book.

SAL: I'm gonna start slow... At the top. Then I'm gonna work down.

NICK: Great. That's great.

SAL: That's my plan.

SAL: Not tonight?... You're not driving up tonight?

NICK: As soon as you're hitched, Sal. First we get you hitched.

SAL: You guys are crazy. You know that? I mean you guys are really nuts.

NICK: Where's Vince?

SAL: There's Albert! Hey, Albert!!!

VINCE: Quiet!... Quiet!!!... Awright, everybody, Nick has a few words.

NICK: I just... would like to say a few words... about Merle. I guess Merle always wanted something... I don't know... better. That fucking guy, he saved my Life. He saved Sal's... What Merle liked, he liked things right... But then there wasn't any place for that... that he could find.

VINCE: What the hell was that! What did you think? Did you think it was loaded!

NICK: You loaded it, Vince! I saw you!

VINCE: The fuck I did!!!

NICK: The fuck you didn't!... Gimme that!

VINCE: Just like always! Just like it always was! Right, Nick? Am I right?

NICK: In the timeless words of Squire Albert...

VINCE: You're full of shit!

NICK: Yeah.

VINCE: And I believed you! I oughta punch you out! I oughta...! Hey. Hey, let's go huntin'! Albert! Hey, Albert! Let's go huntin'. What do you say? Nick? What do you say?

NICK: Sure.

VINCE: How's it feel, huh? How's it feel to be back?

NICK: Great. Feels great... Fuckin' A!

VINCE: I mean, I guess you still think about Nam. Right? I mean --

NICK: Naw. Uh-huh.

VINCE: Hey, Nick, you ever do it with one of those slants?

NICK: No.

VINCE: No!

NICK: Never one.

VINCE: Oh, Jesus! You're kiddin'!

NICK: One, Vince... you have to understand, doing it with one... would be... like nothing. They're small, see, so if you're smart you get about six or eight. I mean, if you want to have any fun.

VINCE: Six or eight. And they go wild?

NICK: They have these little sticks, Vince. They call them "chomp chomps", and when you get these girls going, you have to stick 'em in their mouths.

NICK: What the hell's that for?

VINCE: What's it for??

NICK: Cynthia! Sure.

VINCE: That's who.

NICK: Cynthia! Hey, that's terrific. I mean... Great! That's really great!

NICK: Well, who'd you get married to?

VINCE: Aw, it's a long story!

NICK: How're you guys... I mean, how've you guys been?

VINCE: Same old thing. Hey, same like always. Nothing's changed. Albert is getting fat.

VINCE: He's getting married... and we're nuts!

NICK: It's all right. Hey, it's all right. We'll be right here, right with you.

VET 1: Up a little there... What would you say?

VET 2: Up.

VET 2: Down I would say... What would you say?

VET 1: Down.

VET 2: Down ribbon!

VET 1: Up I would say... What would you say?

VET 2: Up.

VET 1: Up ribbon!